Hayden Panettiere is built like a large piece of machinery that you shouldn't operate while on allergy medication, which is probably pretty shitty for her boyfriend she's on set with who is probably always on allergy medication because he is clearly Jewish and like most jews suffers from asthma, allergies and is lactose intolerant, making thier sex pretty entertaining to watch with all that wheezing, mucus and diarhea.
Here she is covering up her box of a body and by default her box because she realizes that no one wants to see that shit, except for maybe an awkward Jewish guy with Asthma, allergies and who is lactose intollerant because he appreciates her pussy since it's the only pussy he's got because all the girls in highschool were more into the jocks than the school newspaper editor.
The sad news for you is that Hayden and her fridge of a body is hotter than anything you've stuck your dick in.
Looks like Megan Fox just found out that we all know she’s been having sex with Brian Austin Green of 90210 fame and she’s embarrassed and hiding. I guess whenever your dirty little secrets get out, it takes a little while to get over it because you know that despite the friendly faces and smiles people give you, they actually think you’re some kind of deranged sexual deviant. Kinda like that time your mom walked in on you jerking off to gay porn or the time you got arrested for kidnapping that girl, undressing her and lockin’ her in your basement for 24 hours before letting her go but keeping her panties as a souvenir leading to your big debut on the local news and on the cover of the local paper making your family, friends and colleagues really fuckin’ proud to know you.
The truth is that sacrificing a hot pussy to such a lame motherfucker is even worse than any of those things as far as embarrassment goes. Shit proves to the world that you either have no standards, no self respect, or some kind of twisted sexual appetite that involves losers. In reality, his dick murdered her sex appeal and he should be the one arrested, but unfortunately she let it happen and for that - she’s summoned to this walk of shame.
The good news is that like the time you got caught by your mom doing inappropriate things people are supposed to do themselves, it will blow over, because time heals but you know that every time she looks at you, she still shudders in shame…because I guess somethings just aren’t so easy to forget no matter how much drugs, booze, or time goes by. Brian Austin Green is one of those things but I’d still stuff this bitch like a thanksgiving turkey, but that’s only because I don’t have shit on Brian Austin Green, he’s actually cooler than I am and that is one of the many reasons I’ve contemplated suicide.
I read somewhere that Lohan’s mother thinks that Lohan is an artist, which is a lot like your mom telling you that you’re really handsome and that you’ll find yourself a woman who sees it one day, but until then you always have mommy to take care of you….
It turns out that the artist formerly known as Lohan has landed a new job opposite Jack Black which I guess is a sure sign of art, but more like the art that the homeless man down the street makes with his shit on the bus shelter and in public bathrooms and less like something that kids will be analyzing in schools 20 years down the road because shit is genius….
Since I hate Jack Black, I am going to assume that he’s the reason she’s hiding from the cameras, because she has to accept that she’s thrown her shit career down the toilet and this is the shit she has to eat to try to climb her way out of the gutter. Kind of like when I worked at the factory for years hoping that eventually lead to something better until realizing that working in a factory leads to nowhere, kinda like starring opposite Jack Black. I can’t wait to see the fat sex scene because you know she always throws herself at the closest penis in the room and seeing Lohan get fucked by a fat dude will help make my fantasies more realistic.
I guess the real reason she’s hiding from the cameras is because she’s shy about her topless photoshoot and by topless photoshoot I mean cold sores from suckin’ dick outbreak.
Here are some pictures of Nicole Richie hiding from the cameras because she’s finally realized that she’s ugly, or maybe the fact that she let some gay dude who fucks his twin brother because they feel like it’s not gay but masturbation since they are pretty much the same person and because it helps them create the shittiest music out there, impregnate her and now it’s too late to abort the fucker has finally set in…
The truth is that I would totally Good Charlotte this whore, because Good Charlotte are a bunch of faggots and fags like anal sex and i never turn down a girl when she asks for anal, especially when pregnant because I have issues with fucking 2 people at once, especially when one of those people is only a 5 month old fetus.
These are pictures from Paris’ party a couple of days ago that were taken after Nicole had a minor car accident as she was leaving. Who the fuck cares.
What I do care about is how considerate she is being in this time of distress. Normally, this group of girls are so fucking self-absorbed that if they aren’t talking about how great they are, ripping into each other, doing as many drugs as possible to feed their insecure broken selves, or having meaningless relationships and one night stands with guys they find hot because lacking substance and being superficial is all that matters in their eating disorder self-destructive lives. But I guess with Paris going to jail they are all a little thrown off because she was the leader of the pack, and now in an attempt to make the world a better place and in efforts to aid mankind, Nicole Richie has decided to hide her little rat face from all of us and I just wanted to say Thanks….
Normally, I would have been offended by her giving me the finger, but knowing that God has been as cruel as he has been to her, I figure I’d let it slide. It’s like the time a dude with Downs Syndrome punched me in the face in highschool. He had a crush on my girlfriend and saw me grabbing her tits in the park. Either way, he fucking hit me hard because people with retardations seem to be fucking strong, like their body made up for their brain was lacking. Anyway, when he hit me I apologized and walked away instead of getting mad, because sometimes, having sympathy for those less fortunate is a better way to live….
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