So Maxim picked their hometown hotties winner and it’s some bitch named Erin. I am not sure if you bother caring, but I reviewed all the hometown hotties contestents and this is what I had to say about Erin….

Point of this is that she’s worth a round, but that’s not saying much to you, because the last time you ate a hamburger you got a boner just thinking about sliding your dick it it’s warm juicy goodness, you being blinded by your dick and sexual depravity makes you ignore that her tits are all wonky and she’s boxier than the trailer her Daytona Ass is from.

I guess that’s why Maxim hasn’t offered me a high paying job in New York that I would use to bag all the models and any decent lookin’ girl I run into promising them the chance at the cover, while knowing I’d never have that pull, but they wouldn’t need to know that until after they shower for me, because showering for me would obviously be the auditioning process.