I am learning that life is all about balance. It’s only taken me about 40 years to realize that. So now for every drink I have, I drink a glass of water and I’ve found the hangover to be less abusive. Every time I do it, I feel like an obnoxious muscle man chachi who orders egg white omelettes when I take my girlfriend who I met at the gym out for breakfast on a Sunday morning after spending a quiet saturday night at home looking at myself in the mirror. The kind of guy who thinks he’s living on the edge when asking the waitress for a little cheese and toast on the side, because it goes against the strict diet so that I will live a longer life with muscles to look at.

So in taking on this new balanced life I feel I should apply it to all aspects of my life including this site, so as a reaction to the horrible ass I just posted, here are some pictures of Italian model Melissa Satta in a bikini looking amazing. I don’t know when they were taken, but I am glad they were taken, because the beauty of the camera is that it captures a moment in time that we can just keep revisiting and revisiting until depression sets in and our penises cry when we realize we’ll never land a chick this hot in our useless lives.

I don’t like Italians only because of their gay little vespa scooters. That shit is so fucking homo that I can taste the cock while walking by the Vespa store near my my house. If you are wondering why I know what cock tastes like, it’s cuz I spent some time in prison. Either way, this bitch is some kinda famous in Italy - I don’t know what she does or how she does it, but I got no problem lookin at her ass while she’s doing it.