I was in a pharmacy buying “ointment” the other day and saw this National Enquierer cover that said Jamie Lynn is pregnant again, only a few months after giving birth to her other baby who won the fight with the abortion doctor and as I was about to pick it up some really disgusting fatter than me dude got next to me and started talking to himself about sluts in magazines and how he wants to fuck them all and how he knows they want it. Dude smelled like 6 week old dirty asshole, whore pussy and french fries and as he grunted and drooled over a teen bopper magazine, I decided it was a good time to leave, mainly because it was like lookin in the mirror and I wasn’t in the mood for that horrible reality, but also because the space between the magazine rack wasn’t big enough for the two of us and he conviently rubbed up against me when trying to get through and I didn’t want to smell him for the next few days before I decided to change my shirt…..

The point of this is to say, fuck the critics, teenage pregnancy is hot and you’re never too young to get started and I think it’s fucking amazing that Jamie Lynn is doing what her out of contol, teenage rebelling, very fertile uterus is telling her to do. I figure if she starts now, by the time she hits menopause, she’ll have a whole race of her own, and maybe even Wal Mart will open a outlet center in her backyard. We are all allowed to have dreams, but only some of us actually act on them and make them happen and for that Jamie Lynn Spears deserves some credit.

I am a fan of Teenage Pregnancy, if I wasn’t I’d be hating on my own mother because she had me when she was 16 and I turned out fine. Sure she was turning tricks in Mexico and I ended up being taken away from her by some Americans when I was 5, but I still have fond memories of her being irresponsible, drunk and contracting the HIV virus all before she turned 20 and if that isn’t considered an accomplishment, I don’t know what is. Everytime I see a teenage girl with her baby it brings back those fond memories of a neglectful mother who was in over her head, living in poverty, being abused and most importantly, sucking off white dudes to pay the rent in front of me.

I am not one of those anti-abortion, right winged, no sex before marriage or god will strike you down and if he doesn’t he’ll make sure you get knocked up and unable to abort because two sins don’t cancel each other out, making you the laughing stock to your peers, pissing off the dude who fucked you without a condom because it felt good and looked down upon by society as a whole as a disgusting pig of a person. I am more in the school of thought that if you get your period you are good to go and if this was 300 years ago, you’d be considered normal. Unfortunately, that excuse doesn’t always hold up in court after getting charged with statutory rape. Rules always ruin a good thing.

Here are some pics of Jamie Lynn and her big ol’ mom titties and big ol’ southern ass with her baby, it’s nice to see how she’s bounced back better than women who wait until they are 30 to breed, because society doesn’t like them following nature’s course and their self absorbed needs to establish a career and have fun get in the way of doin’ what they are supposed to.

Here are some pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears wearing a bit more clothes than she was when she got into this whole mess that she doesn’t think is a mess because she’s a good little child of God and abortions don’t exist in her world, but unprotected premarital sex does, which is kind of hypocritical if you ask me, which you didn’t because my opinion doesn’t really matter.

I fuckin’ love teenage pregnancy and every teenage girl I have ever accidentally knocked up has had abortions, but that was pretty much my doing because I didn’t want the burden, lawsuit, jail time or commitment to a fat lonely girl with daddy issues who turned to me to fill her void and all it really took was a good punch to the stomach. You’d be surprised how fragile a uterus actually is….. I always thought they’d be a hell of a lot more resilient.

Either way, I like to think whoever got her knocked up fucked up, because she was just starting her career up and hasn’t had enough time to really peak in her career. I predict it’s all down hill from here, because I’ve seen young girls bounce back pretty well from this kind of thing, but they never fully bounce back. Not to mention how annoying it will be on the set of her next movie when she keeps having to stop to feed her baby while studying for her GED.

The good news is that this is a story of trash that we all get to take part in, because teenage pregnancy usually happens in small towns with girls no one really cares for and the only people who get to laugh about it are their neighbors and people in their class. Now the whole world gets to take part in the fun of something as beautiful as a kid giving birth to a kid because she decided she wasn’t a kid the night she was letting an older dude shove his unprotected dick in her and cum inside her because she didn’t take sex ed classes while being tutored on set and had no idea the implications of her actions. Good times….

The funny thing about these young celebrities is that being the hot underage chick who will eventually become a drunken disaster of a slut is like a role written by Hollywood, but as time moves on, a new actress takes on the role, so every year that’s a switch of characters and I sit here feeling like I am watching the same story unfold and it is like visiting the same strip club every month to see the same stripper do the same routine to the same fucking song. It is pretty much the equivalent of being locked in a room watching Seinfeld reruns over and over again only the rerun is always the same episode, but Seinfeld is played by some other Jew.

Sometimes you want to believe that this one is different, you want to think that she’ll break through and make it like a normal person just to switch things up a bit and keep us guessing. Sometimes you want to think that the cliche is just a cliche and that not everyone falls into the parameters society has set for them but what it all comes down to is that people are all the same and when faced with the same opportunity and struggles and their egos are fed the same way and the money comes in at the same speed and the interest from men comes in at the same time, they react in the same way.

I guess what I am trying to say is that new blood can be exciting and is welcomed, and it means a future of many new vagina lip slips, new nipple slips, DUIs, sex scandals and sex tapes and I guess I should be more welcoming to that, because the only thing better than pussy is new pussy and because otherwise I’d have nothing write about…But sometimes I like to think someone out there will surprise me. I still haven’t grasped that people are all the same and they always let me down, even when I don’t know them and they are just pictures on my computer, I still like to hope they are different because there’s no fun in knowing exactly how their public life will pan out, so I guess for this Jamie Lynn bitch, it’s just a matter of time, so until she turns 18, I’ll play the waiting game even though she’s not even that hot, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I have no standards….

Here are some pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears going to acting classes, reality is that Jamie Lynn Spears should be going to a personal trainer. Bitch is looking pretty fucking sloppy and sloppy girls aren’t good.

I remember bringing home this chick who looked alright dressed. We ordered some food and as she ate it shit dripped all over her outfit like the slob she turned out to be. It was gross, but I didn’t care, I wanted to see her tits and this was a good excuse for me to get her shirt off, that was before she actually took her shirt off and I was faced with the strongest push-up bra built, because the second it came off, this girl who I thought was tight bodied, had nipples that aimed to the floor…..I am talking tits a mother of 3 probably doesn’t even have, that just kinda hung off her like a half full bag of milk. I still let her get me off, because I have no standards, but I was thinking how gross her tits were the whole time.

Reality is that I know Jamie Lynn is a teenager, but that means she should be more tight bodied now than she will be 5 years down the road, but I guess things shift and maybe she just hasn’t lost her babyfat yet. That was my wife’s excuse for her belly for the last 30 years of her obese life…I keep telling her “bitch, it’s not fucking babyfat, it’s called you’re a disgusting pig who doesn’t stop eating fat”, but she doesn’t listen. I think it’s just a matter of time before she follows the family tradition of eating fast food and cheetos, marrying losers, having 2 kids she hates, ending up on drugs, washed up and unable to land any work all by the time she’s 20, because the younger generation a growing up a lot faster these days. The other day I walked in on two 14 year olds ripping lines while getting blowjobs in the club bathroom….

I guess she’s trying to break her destined fate, but going to see an acting coach, but I don’t think any acting coach good enough can save a Spears. She’s just riding Britney’s tailwind, which is probably something that doesn’t smell as nice as it sounds and its worked up until now and I’d be surprised if she ever gets cast in anything decent. She’s just another white trash high school drop out with a dream, like this whore I once knew who was missing half her teeth but always wanted to be a pastry chef. She took a few of the classes, maybe even finished the program, but within 2 years, bitch was back on the streets, there just wasn’t as much money or sense of achievement in making desserts as there was in making dudes bust.

Point of this post is to say, is it say, I think it’s illegal to post about girls who are under 18. I can only hope she sues me.