I used to think Rachel Bilson had this really tight body and probably a pussy to match because she’s so tiny and dates guys like the dude in Star Wars who I assume has no penis. She’s the kind of girl I’d like to believe uses the pediatric sized speculum at the gynecologists. You know when you slam the bitch with your 4 inches of pathetic cock, the bed looks like a fuckin’ murder scene and you sit there smiling like you just taught the bitch proper. Then i realized you can fit pretty much a fist in any girl with a little patience and the right lubricant, ideally her tears if you do things the right way, but that’s just because pussy is made for making babies….
Unfortunately, her pictures are always fucking boring to me and I feel like she’s the kind of girl who you would hang with and rather play videogames or watch Sex in the City with, than fuck because she just doesn’t inspire much more than a good night’s sleep. The good news is that at least she’s got a tight lookin’ ass and in the fat world we live in, I can handle lookin’ at pics of it.
It was a nice day, so I kinda forgot to post these pictures of Heather Graham getting her ass grabbed in the airport because I chose getting drunk over sitting on my ass smelling the rotting pile of garbage that no one has or will take down unless I do it, which I won’t because I like the smell of garbage more than the smell of my wife.
I guess it’s nice to see a slut being treated like a slut in public, it really puts things in perspective and makes me realize that no matter how much money a bitch has, or how many dudes have jerked off to her in Boogie Nights, there will still be a dude who only hangs with her cuz he likes treating her like she’s a cheap hooker who’s already been paid. Enjoy.
Nothing says creepy pervert like standing across the street from a girl and watching her either put things in or take things out of her car in hopes to get a good look of her ass, except for maybe following a chick from the bar home and climbing her fire escape to watch her either drunken masturbate or have a booty call while you sit there jerking off like you’re watching some kind of live-action porn. It’s on the same level as watching a girl shopping at the mall and seeing her reach down for the perfect bikini or watching her model it for her friend before buying the perfect one. It’s like peaking into the curtain-doored changing rooms to watch them change without getting caught or even like hanging out at the bottom of open-backed stairs and watching girl walk up and down the stairs.
These are some pictures of GIsele putting things in or taking things out of her car and you can see the top strap of her panties, and those panties are actually touching her pussy,which must be pretty exciting for someone who has never seen a vagina….but is probably not all that exciting for the rest of the world. I call it the process of desensitization, like when I used to get a boner holding hands with a chick or seeing her in a bra and now I can barely get hard for a hot girl on all fours with a finger on her clit, begging me to stick it in, but I still try and thats all the matters to me, even if it turns out to be the worst sex for her. Let’s face it, I am not trying to impress anyone.
I have decided that today I am a fan of Hilary Duff. Not because she’s hot, but because she’s not fat and broken down like my wife and that shit is refreshing to me.
It’s kinda funny what happens to a man when you’ve been with someone who makes you sick to your stomach for about 5 years, and that is that the girls I once found hideous are slowly getting more and more attractive.
It’s like when I was in High School and I wouldn’t fuck the decent looking chick because she had one eyebrow and took too much work to convince to take my dick and my albino neighbor was easy and all about my dick because dude’s were usually scared shitless of her red eyes…but the point is that as an older dude, I find myself lookin’ at average lookin’ 18 year olds who I would have never fucked when I was 18, but now bring dirty thoughts in mind, because the fact that they are 18 outweighs the fact that they looks like they belong on a farm.
So Hilary and her horse face may not be the most amazing thing to look at, but I wouldn’t mind riding her down the beach and into the sunset like on a club med commercial but that’s just because late at night, I like to pretend I’m a cowboy and I feel like she’d be able to contribute to that fantasy by playing both the whore in the Saloon and the Horse I rode in on, she really is a triple threat.
The thing I like about Britney is that she proves that people love trainwrecks. She’s done everything in her power to make the world hate her or feel sorry for her, or laugh at her, or want to fuck her and she’s still got the number one song out there, so no matter what you say about her being a bad mother or drug addict or crazy, none of that really matters because she’s famous and successful and that shit goes a lot farther than being a good parent.
The other thing I like about Britney is that she’s a fat chick I want to bend over and smell like we’re a couple of dogs in the dog park. I just have a thing for trying to figure out what she ate for dinner the night before.
The thing I don’t like about Britney is that she’s untouchable. She’s one of those celebrities who you will never be able to seduce, not because she isn’t a desperate stupid girl that would probably be impressed with by a shiny new quarter, but because K-Fed has damaged her and from this point on it’ll be impossible to be the next K-Fed, which is too bad because it was kind of a retirement dream of mine.
She prove that so much can change in a person from the age of 16 to 25 and she’s pretty much doing everything we all hoped she would do, like showing off her tits and pussy and rockin’ jeans that don’t fit because she’s living the dream that she’s still a size small. Unfortunately it’s about 10 years too late, but I usually take what I can get.
