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The biggest assed joke of the day is that a fat Jennifer Lopez did some triathlon like she’s some kind of athlete for a charity that I call trying to prove herself. She took about 2.5 hours to complete it and she had some help from her trainer, who based on her ass, isn’t the kind of trainer I’d hire for my wife if I was rich and famous, mainly because if I was rich and famous, I’d drop my wife off at the curb and move onto younger hotter pussy, but also because dude’s obviously not very good at his job. Sure you can argue that her ass is genetic and that it’s some beautiful phenomenon that you love, but I like to think it’s cuz you have no standards and no real opinion of your own and you just jumped on the bandwagon, because the only person who would find anything about this hot is a black man and that’s just because they like any pussy that isn’t attached to a black woman, no matter how offensive it is, proven in the fact that I was out with my wife this weekend and at least 5 black guys freaked out, in a good way when she walked by, to the point where I had to turn to them and ask them if they were on fuckin’ drugs because cat calling a cow, confuses me so much that it’s gotta be drug related….

Either way, here she is being active because it’s funny.

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I saw a teenage pregnant girl and her teenage baby daddy walking down the street. It was funny because I could tell that dude refused to pay for her abortion because he wanted to buy an ounce of weed instead and was having second thoughts, like the time I spent the allowance my wife gave me on a wooden statue of Jesus at a garage sale, which seemed like a great idea, until I brought it home and realized that I didn’t have any booze for the next week. I could tell that dude was going to run as fast as he fuckin’ could when the baby took it’s first breath and for some reason, that made me happy.

About 5 minutes later, I saw a hot mom, she was carting around a couple of kids and was dressed like a classy escort in short shorts and a cleavage shirt, obviously she successfully bounced back from her pregnancy. I guess she missed all the attention boys used to give her before she gave up her uterus to some rich guy for a secure future and a benz. J.Lo wasn’t quite as lucky with that, but here are some pictures of her in her bikini from the other day, from some new angles for you J.Lo fans.