I always find it funny seeing fat people work out. I don’t know what it is but I always laugh in their face and feel the need to give them words of encouragement like I am watching someone run a marathon and are covered in shit and puke and 100 yards away from the finish line, only instead of actually doing anything impressive, the fat people are fully decked out in sports gear and are walking briskly, but still manage to have the look of impending death on their faces. I guess it’s nice to see people attempt to improve their overall health, but sometimes its a little too late for them and they should have probably taken the initiative by saying no to cake over the last 10 years of their life. I mean I am a fat guy and I live with a fat woman and I see both of us struggle to do everyday things, like fit into chairs, stand up after sitting on the couch and even when trying to fuck we end up giving up because of pulled muscles, uncontrollable heart rates and light headedness, which has turned out to be the greatest excuse no to bang my wife and also to never dress up in athletic gear and make a fool of myself in public.

Here’s Kim Kardashian still delusional about being a fat chick, she seriously thinks she’s normal sized and has the right to do what normal sized people do and that is funny.

Gender Benders are everywhere and if I was to make a big deal about seeing a man in a bikini, I’d be a hypocrite since I made a man with tits flash me the other day for 5 dollars. I thought it would make a good internet video, one that would take this site to the next level, but I don’t own a camera so only I got to see it. I know you are jealous, but that’s just because you are sexually confused, and to make you feel better about your sexual dysfunction, the majority of people who fuck tranny prostitutes are actually straight. I guess they just relate to boys pretending to be girls better than they relate to their haggard wives pretending to be girls.

Either way, here’s Pink training for the sex change or to become a mover in a bikini top, because she hasn’t quite made her tits transition into full man pecs yet and running around topless would still be deemed offensive, even more offensive than her in a bikini, something you thought wasn’t possible, but it is, so be grateful she’s covered up.

Fergie is known for being fit and having a tight body, a body so ripped it looks like it may have a pair of little steroid testicles tucked between her legs. I was actually convinced I met Fergie last night at a bar until I realized that I was actually talking to some dude who happened to be a mixed martial arts fighter and went on about how badly he likes breaking bones, while wearing some kind of faggy cut off shirt showing off her “pythons”.

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I got a Lesbian show at the strip club with my friend’s money this past weekend. The girls were fuckin’ bitches and money hungry because all these Americans came in with all their money for the UFC fight I didn’t go to and it turns out that American’s don’t have stripclubs quite like these stripclubs. The bitch wanted 40 dollars a song or a half hour for 400 dollars that ends with one of them squirting. I got into a debate about how squirting is a myth and whenever a girl actually squirts she’s really just pissing, so if I wanted to watch a girl piss, I’d just follow a homeless chick around. They told me that it wasn’t piss, and asked if the room smelled like piss, because she had just squirted all over the place and I told them that I didn’t know if it smelled like piss but it definitely smelled bad. They whispered something in French about how I was some kind of asshole who wasn’t going to pay them as much as the last guys tipped them, which was true because after they put on a staged dyke show, licked each others assholes and made me feel awkward because it was so bad and they wanted me to be so into it but I couldn’t perform, something I am used to, I ended it at one song because for another 40 dollars I could buy a couple more drinks that would give me more pleasure.

Lookin’ at Pink jogging in a bikini makes me wonder whether her lesbian sex is as bad as the stripper lesbian sex I saw, or whether she’s actually got a clit and by clit I mean dick big enough to penetrate her partner because without penetration, you’ve pretty much just got foreplay and there’s nothing exciting about that.

So the star of Grey’s Anatomy is showing her own anatomy while jogging somewhere in a see through shirt and I just made a lame fucking joke and feel like I was your real dad and this was some kind of dinner party with all your friends and I totally embarrassed you, but not as bad as the time you caught me in the bathroom at your Sweet 16 Slumber party trying to convince your hot friend that my tongue was the roll of toilet paper minutes before getting her pregnant and having to explain to her parents that I couldn’t afford to pay for half of her abortion, but if they covered it up front, I could pay them back in installments. That was a mess we don’t want to relive, kinda like this post because it sucks.

Speaking of sucking, Ellen Pompeo has some pretty shitty tits and it’s not because they are small it’s because they look like they are placed where a normal person’s belly button would be, which I guess isn’t that back because they aren’t hangin lower than my self esteem after writing this piece of shit and I blame you. Asshole.

Here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan joggin in a sports bra, because she’s trying to maintain her massive body and fake tit figure. It takes a lot of work to turn yourself from a fat girl with no tits, a curse worse than death to becoming a big girl with a washboard stomach and fake tits.

I was at some shitty bar in another city the other day and it turned out that everyone in the place was a useless fucking loser. The girls were disgusting but thought they had it going on and the dudes who were getting bottle service were all old married men who thought buying bottles would score these pieces of trash, when in reality all dude needed to do was offer to take these whores to McDonald’s or shit because they were low budget.

I ended up checking out some tall broad bitch with no ass but broad shoulders and ripped muscular arms. She had shitty hair extensions and looked like Brooke Hogan with a penis. There was no way bitch wasn’t a dude in women’s clothing, but the older married bottle service dude was just so happy that some younger “girl” was showing interest in him and was blinded by the attention and didn’t notice she was really a he. So as this drunken dude tried making out with her while getting a lap dance from her, he thought he was balling and years of hard work in middle-management paid off without realizing the girl on his dick wasn’t a girl and I thought about putting on a dress to get free booze too, because I am pretty accommodating for free booze, but realized that my natural man tits wouldn’t get the kind of attention I deserve.