So Nicole Richie brought her ass out in a pair of leggings and I really can’t figure out what I think about it. She looks like a troll or Ashlee Simpson and DJ AM once told me that her pussy looks like a corpse, but in all fairness to her pussy, he did tell me that in a dream I had of him trying to kill himself and failing, and he didn’t tell me that in person, so maybe I just made that shit up and her pussy is some kind magical place that men who suck off their twin brothers call home and destroy with a baby, in hopes of it morphing into something that looks more like the empty ball sack he used to diddle.

Point of the story is……who really gives a shit? She had no business being famous in the first place, based on having no talent and being pretty fucking ugly….and she has no business being famous now. Her biological parents had the right idea and got rid of her when she was a baby, we should take their lead.

Like a mother jealous of her daughter’s youth, or a girlfriend jealous of her boyfriend’s hot young co-worker he hangs out with, Beyonce is going that extra mile to try to look as hot and slutty as possible, knowing that she’s been replaced by Rihanna, but not accepting the fact that she’s been replaced by Rihanna, because once you accept that your time has come and gone, there’s little to look forward to, so it’s important to tap into the competitiveness that makes your relatives pro athletes and marathon runners, and the fire you felt back when your little sister challenged you to a watermelon eating contest and really take ownership on your experience, to try to win the public over, unfortunately, Beyonce’s doing it by wearing a pair of Rihanna’s pants and the whole thing is fucking pathetic. Nice tits though.

Here are some pictures of Rachel Bilson and her long torso doing the ape-walk with her little cunty dog. This would be a great opportunity to write about my own little fucker who managed to throw up 15 pounds of half digested food and a carrot on me earlier today, but I hate cocksuckers who treat their dogs like their kids, and I hate people who treat their kids like an accomplishment and never shut the fuck up about the little things they do. Like bragging about the first time it uses the potty, it’s first time on a flight, because the only think that interests me about childbirth is the before and after pussy shots and maybe a sample of breast milk, the little workings that make the fucker precious to you, really have nothing to do with my life, so you can just keep it to yourself, and while you do that, you can check out Rachel Bilson in leggings, an article of clothing that was once so fucking exciting, but has become everyday practice by so many fat chicks who think they can pull it off because all their friends are doing it, leading me wishing the shit was never re-introduced and left in the early 90s where they belong….

So it turns out that Lindsay Lohan’s thighs rub together when she walks, which isn’t really that big of a deal considering my wife’s tits rub her thighs when she walks, but then again my wife’s idea of walking is sitting on our ghetto couch and in all fairness to my wife, she’s not a celebrity and never will be, unless she’d doing the before pictures for some weightloss scam that they will photoshop a fit girl’s face onto to sell product. In reality, my wife being fat is all my fault because I told her I was tired of fucking her and wanted a blow-up doll. Since, she’s french she understood that I wanted a bouncy castle and decided to turn herself into one, at least that’s the only explanation I have for what has proven to be a really disgusting part of my life.

Either way, here’s Lohan’s thick drug addicted thighs rubbin’ together.

Bonus - Some Shitty See Through Action from the Other Day:

I read somewhere that Lohan’s mother thinks that Lohan is an artist, which is a lot like your mom telling you that you’re really handsome and that you’ll find yourself a woman who sees it one day, but until then you always have mommy to take care of you….

It turns out that the artist formerly known as Lohan has landed a new job opposite Jack Black which I guess is a sure sign of art, but more like the art that the homeless man down the street makes with his shit on the bus shelter and in public bathrooms and less like something that kids will be analyzing in schools 20 years down the road because shit is genius….

Since I hate Jack Black, I am going to assume that he’s the reason she’s hiding from the cameras, because she has to accept that she’s thrown her shit career down the toilet and this is the shit she has to eat to try to climb her way out of the gutter. Kind of like when I worked at the factory for years hoping that eventually lead to something better until realizing that working in a factory leads to nowhere, kinda like starring opposite Jack Black. I can’t wait to see the fat sex scene because you know she always throws herself at the closest penis in the room and seeing Lohan get fucked by a fat dude will help make my fantasies more realistic.

I guess the real reason she’s hiding from the cameras is because she’s shy about her topless photoshoot and by topless photoshoot I mean cold sores from suckin’ dick outbreak.

Here are some pictures of Kate Hudson dressed like every 18 year old Jewish girl I see at my local Starbucks. I’ve been pretty off on calling out Jewish Outfits of the Day in the past, but this one seems pretty legit. She’s got the leggings and the oversized shirt and that’s the kind of effort a lazy spoiled jewish girl who doesn’t care about sex appeal during the day because she’s always got jewish guys trying to get her to suck their horny dicks not matter how lazy she’s dressed. I figure it’s got something to do with this group mentality and security that comes when all your friends are going out in shit they should only be wearing in the privacy of their home or to bed then why shouldn’t they. I blame camp.

I guess the good news for them is that whenever these jewish girls go out on the town, they get as dolled up as they can by getting their hair done and a designer dress on, to drink Grey Goose and dance on bars before going home with their jewish neighbor who they’ve known since they were 5 and end up suckin’ their dick in the car their parents bought them for their 16th birthday because they can’t do it at home or their parents will catch them. Even though everyone will find out the next day and talk about it on facebook. So the life lesson of the day is to stay away from a jewish girl during the day.

Either way, I don’t understand why this Kate Hudson bitch didn’t get more shit for driving her drug addicted Owen Wilson to suicide, that emotional trauma she gave him put him over the edge and from what I’ve been told, the emotional abuse I give my wife is still grounds for getting me locked up even though I’ve never hit her….I guess life’s not really fair.

I can only blame her Coolio gangster paradise dealer disguised as a middle aged women for the life of crime and lesbianism she’s living. I’ve seen hip hop videos and the only motherfuckers allowed to rock one pant leg hiked up is gangsters and every suburban white kid in over-sized clothes who thinks he’s a gangster while drivng around in his mom’s Lexus truck like he bought the shit with money he made hustlin’

Lohan is the kind of girl I think I will always love. She was my original celebrity obsession on this site and I tried everything I could to get in touch with her. I used to stalk her co-workers, I used to leave her voicemail messages, I used to harass Filipino kids pretending to be Lohan on Myspace. It was a big part of my life work that really never materialized. In those years I’ve seen her go from a big breasted barely 18 sex pot to a washed up 21 year old broken down pick-up truck with herpes, addiction and an eating disorder. She’s been hospitalized, arrested, in accidents. She’s had breakdowns and freak outs and itall started when her first love, the immigrant on That 70s Show broker her heart. She took some insane self destructive path to fill the void that he left by going on to have sex with everyone, while he continued to live life as is banging regular girls 10 times hotter than Lohan that were impressed by his “fame”. The biggest problem in all this is that in her path to death she never released a sex tape and at the course she’s going, she may die and then that vagina will be off limits for ever and I will never reach my goal in getting her herpes.

An ad agency for some drug rehab center in Jersey released the “Don’t Die Lindsay” ad today. It’s one of those riding a celebrity coat tail situation to get publicity to your campaign and your company in hopes of getting better business. It’s a pretty standard fucking ad, it’s just text, it’s far from genius, but I am posting it anyway, because I don’t want Lohan to die.

I was at a strip club the other day and one of the girls was brown. Every other girl in the place showed off her box, I’m talking spreading the shit, fingering the shit, sticking it in our faces, you know doing what strippers do. But this brown one kept her underwear on. I figured it was a religious thing, like female circumcision and that’s when it dawned on me. If Lohan was female circumcised when she was 18, like a good little brown girl. She woulda never got into any of these issues. Sure it’s a violent, unethical treatment of women and I can appreciate that it’s disgusting, wrong, psycho and cruel, but shit woulda done wonders for Lohan and her career. That’s all I’m saying.

Here are some pics of Lohan in some boots, with leggings on, showing off her hot little ass that she’s put a “Hello, My Name is Sober Fun” sticker on, while rockin’ an ironic shirt telling us not to follow her….without realizing that we need to follow her to stare at her ass….but at least she’s communicating with us. I figure that’s step 1 in trying to fuck her.