Her name is Nadine Coyle, she’s one of the tramps in the UK band Girls Aloud that has been made famous on blogs thanks to their lead Cheryl Cole and her prison tattoos, and apparently she’s got pretty fucking amazing legs. The kind of legs I wish they had available in parks for me to climb up and swing off of, the legs that would really make amputees hate themselves more and feel even more inadequate that they can’t walk up a flight of scares, it’s like this shit is perfection and I’m surprised I’ve never bothered with her before, because I am pretty sure I think we’re in love…however, that could just be the leftover alcohol in my blood talking…I haven’t been able to focus on my screen all day and I’ve been typing with one eye, so for all I know this bitch is a man, but with one eye and a hangover she looks like an angel…
Here is United Nations babymaker Heidi Klum trying to break down German tradition and sterotype of eating sausage and sauerkrout before killing all things non-Aryan, by having a dozen kids with Seal, like she was some kind of farm animal…and the funny thing is that I’ve been seeing a lot more German women out there with Black boyfriends, husbands, baby daddies, like it’s a fucking trend to break their horrible reputation of the past…but I think it’s more of a sexual thing than a political thing, don’t let her wholesome mom face fool you, cuz I’ve see German porn and shit is on another level of crazy, that would probably require a very strong, huge-cocked black man to participate in by ripping them apart at the seam before getting shit on in some kind of bloody, stinky, poop covered mess. The baby-making is just a bi-product of that.
Either way, no matter how beat up, clamped up or ripped apart her pussy may be and no matter how much she likes being shit on, or shitting on black men, I still think she’s got it going on….so here are some pictures of her to remind us of what was….
It always impresses me when I see moms who look like Elle Macpherson, not that it happens ever, but it would impress me if I did, because moms just aren’t supposed to look worth fucking sober.
I am sure her baby daddy feels pretty fucking lucky that the mother of his kids is this easy to look at, but then again, I am sure her baby daddy fucks a lot hotter younger pussy than her, as he is probably really fucking rich, cuz models don’t really have kids with people who aren’t really fucking rich, it’s against their rules….
All I do know is that Elle Macpherson is fucking up my theory that pussy dies at 30. I traditionally hate older bitches but because older bitches usually expire. THe let themselves sag, droop, eat whatever they fucking want, turn disgusting and feel entitled cuz they are busy raising kids…bullshit….sure, she doesn’t work, she has nannies, she has a trainer who she pays more than most executives make a year, and it’s her fucking livlihood to stay lookin’ this good, but I just wish more women had that same drive and treated lookin’ good like it was their job. It would make parent-teacher night I sometimes sneak into at the local elementary school lookin’ for eager, desperate single-moms willing to support me, a lot more fun.
I got in a fight with a Russian woman yesterday, because Russian’s are fucking insane. I guess it’s all those years of communist rule, rationed bread and work camps, communal thinking and dreams of escaping to America to one day drive a cab, or become a mail order bride to be able to afford a pair of Levis makes a motherfucker pretty fucking angry and bitter. I am not gonna bother going into details because the shit was so fucking stupid, but I will say that after our minor exchange, the bitch would no let it go, for 3 hours she kept coming back to me and getting in my fucking face, cuz I guess Russians hold a grudge, but then again, the Cold War already taught me that….
I know Joanna Krupa’s not a Russian, but I can only assume this cabbage farmer’s daughter has the same miserable, angry look and least that’s the only explanation I have for that scowl on her weathered face other than that she’s getting old and tired….
I guess she’s made her mark and has done all her skill set has allowed and had this been 20 years ago, she could have been inspiration to all the Polish people stuck in their country, unable to escape, bringing hope that one day you would be able to become a whore in America, who models Lingerie and nude and who never really amounts to anything, or is never really respected, and who just gets old when is she is no longer marketable according to her low level clients, cuz her body was the only marketable thing she had….
I like skinny bitches as much as the next guy who is stuck with a fat fucking wife for the last 10 years of his life, where seeing her take a bite out of any food, even apples and oranges makes you want to throw the fuck up and sure Whitney Port will be forgotten in the next year when The Hills is finally put to rest, and I know she isn’t hot, but skinny daddy long legs like this will come in handy for her when she’s either working the pole to pay her rent, or working some rich dude’s pole to maintain her lifestyle as the Hollywood nobody she’s become….both require the same level of prostituting herself, which lucky for her takes less prostituting than it took to attach herself to The Hills….or what I like to call The Peak of Her Career and Celebrity.
Tennis pro Andy Roddick’s wife is some bikini model named Brooklyn Decker who you’ve probably all heard of since she was in SI and Victoria’s Secret and other related shit.
She was on the beach in a pair of heels because you can’t put a price on making your legs look as good as they possibly can since you depend on the shit to get more work…so comfort and not looking like an idiot doesn’t really come into play…and here are the pics…
I’ve tried to befriend this bitch on Twitter, but she just ignores me, so I should really try to be a lot more evil in this post, but why fuckin’ bother….
Mila Jovovich is playing with fire by wearing these shorts because she just had a kid recently and she’s at serious risk for her flappy beat up new mom vagina lip to fall out of those shorts…but unfortunately for us that didn’t happen, but what did happen is that she gave us a glimpse of the Russian mail order bride we all fell in love with 10 years ago….not that I was ever that much of a fan because I always thought she looked like a little boy…but a lot of other people were and that’s what matters.
I think posting these pictures of Taylor Momsen’s hard nipples in her short skirt are ok, because she’s smoking cigarettes and everyone knows that you can only buy cigarettes if you are 18 years old, and there’s no way any of her producers, co-stars, or executives behind her show would give her cigarettes because that would be illegal. So I can only assume they marketed her as a 16 year old to make their show more believable, but really bitch is 18, cuz I know 16 year old and they hardly ever have nipples this hard, it’s not in line with the natural flow of puberty.
That said, here are Taylor Momsen’s hard nipples pretending they are 16 while smoking some cigarettes on set dressed like a whore….
I wonder what goes through Lily Allen’s mind when she puts on a pair of shorts. Is she just a typical hipster who takes pride in not showering, having a huge bush and wearing dirty clothes, or is she legitimately just a lazy fucking pig. I mean there really is no way to tell because none of us know her and I guess who really cares why her legs are they way they are, the fact of the matter is that they are the way they are.
It’s like my wife is fucking pig too, only we try to keep her as covered up as possible, because it is humilating when the bathing shit or dress that shows off her fat ankles come out, so I can relate to whoever is fucking Lily Allen, except in their case she has a lot of money and celebrity and other perks to make fucking her fat ass a lot more acceptable than me, but that makes her public display of disgusting even more unacceptable…
Maybe that’s why she got covered up in the blanket while watching bitches being physical while she just sat there with her fat hanging over the sites of the stadium chairs….and really who cares. Lily Allen is fucking over anyway…
I assume the creative director at Victoria’s Secret is gay because they brought Miranda Kerr down to the beach but kept her fully clothed.
Any straight dude would be too busy setting up private meetings in their hotel room to discuss the inspiration of the shoot, you know getting her stripped down naked and explaining to her that she is replaceable no matter how much you like her look, making her understand that she’s going to have to really step up and get edgier because corporate’s getting bored of her, leading you to take some hot amateur porn pics of her, because she’s desperate to keep the best gig in modeling leaving you with one hand on the camera and the other jerking off all over her face….
I may hate my life but not as bad as Lily Allen’s legs hate her. They are staging a revolt…or some kind of shit to overthrow her career cuz they’re ready to just sit around and eat chocolate…they are done with this singing bullshit…it’s like they are in Haiti and they are starting to rape and piledge cuz their desperation has put their humanity to the fucking test, only maybe her legs are the fucking earthquake killing the little sex appeal she may have had in a devastating rattle….
I don’t know what she was thinking when she decided to not wear pants in concert., but I’m assuming it was “Lady Gaga’s doing it, that means I have to do it”, without actually taking the time to look at her sloppy body in the mirror and remember how offensive that is to the average fucking person. I am sure there are sloppy cellulite fetishists out there, cuz there is a fetish for everything, but I doubt that’s gonna take your shitty bought career back to the top of the mainstream, because it’s vile.
Either way, here are the pics Lady Gaga is laughing at because she’s ugly and ugly girls always laugh at their rivals inadequacies…
Remember Rebecca Rominjn Stamos ?? It turns out that she’s still alive and she’s getting prestigious work doing a “Got Milk “Campaign probably because she “Got Fat” and no one wants anything to do with her. All because she let that kid from My Secret Identity knock her up a couple of times and despite her almost see thru shirt, all I see are her vertical black and white striped dress strategically worn to hide her fucking fat ass. See that’s a fashion tip even I know about and the only thing I know about fashion is that I hate it because it cover up girls’ pussies from being exposed in public….proving that hiding her gunt is not her priority and that’s she’s fuckin’ lazy about it and I can just assume the rest of her is fucking lazy too, from her parenting to wandering around her house unshowered without hair and make-up, eating cake and yelling at her Filipino nanny about making too much noise playing with her kids…or some shit…and here are the exciting pics…
I used my only relevant Taylor Momsen joke last week when I said she has no talent today and that she had no talent signing in The Grinch movie she was in 10 years ago when she was 5, making her pretty much a bullshit celebrity with no talent but really persistant parents lookin’ for a retirement plan of something they didn’t abort…not that it matters…she is only 16 so a slut phase, which is clearly already in the works and a drug and party phase is totally in her cards and I’ll be more than happy to watch her fall into the gutter as all her inner demons come screaming out, the only thing that sucks about all this is that she’s not very cute, she awkward and skinny with a retarded face….just has long skinny legs that she likes to show off and decorate like some kind of Christmas tree and I hope for us that puberty fills her out a little or that she uses some gossip girl money on a set of tits like a common whore I am hoping she becomes…
It turns out that Sophie Monk turned 30 over the weekend and I take satisfaction in knowing that she is no where near where she wanted to be at 30 in terms of success in her career in her life plan…knowing she used to sit in her class back in high school telling everyone how she’s going to be famous and how she’s going to be a celebrity and how they’ll be taught that math is not needed when you’re fabulous….and I just love knowing she knows she’s a failure and I hope she hangs up her muppet face and becomes the gutter stripper her hot body leads me to think she was really destined to be…Happy fucking birthday.
I don’t know who Jessica Heart is, but her long legs do a nice job of distracting me from her teeth.
I am not sure why I have such an issue with shitty teeth, like I get disgusted when I see a bitch with rotting, spaced out Amy Winehouse in her mouth, even when those teeth are rubbing up and down my dick shaft gently with glee.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve banged many girls with a wide variety of various forms of disgusting mouth, because I’m not an idiot and take what I can get and I guess it really doesn’t matter, cuz when you get with a bitch like Jessica Heart, you’re too busy shoving your face in her vagina.
