I have been confused as to who likes Katy Perry, because I know that I don’t but there’s got to be people who do, otherwise she wouldn’t be around all the fucking time, leading to me hating her in the first place. I thought maybe it was teenage girls, who liked the bubble gum factor and could relate since they are going through that whole kissing each other phase you masturbate to, then I thought maybe it was office types, who never got wild and kissed a girl, and live vicariously through Katy Perry’s experience while bored at the office, then I was thinking it was mainstream people, who just like what they are told to like, the same people who watch American Idol and buy the Clay Aiken CDs, thinking that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t like the song, and I always forgot that there’s probably a lot of creepy motherfuckers listening to this song, while watching teenage girls on YouTube dancing around in their underwear, you know, the same kind of dude who finds out that Katy Perry is on Leno and sets up his camera to document the performance to archive for later use on YouTube and really enjoying the whole snuff film feel of the whole thing, because it is similar to what he would shoot to document their wedding video, if he ever had the chance to kidnap the bitch and bring her to his cabin in the woods and marry her against her will in hopes of spending the rest of their lives together, before realizing he’s going to go to jail, and if he can’t have her, no one will, so he kills her off to get rid of the evidence, making him a hero in my books, just a really creepy, psycho hero who deserves life in prison for liking her enough to do all this to her in the first place. If you know what I mean.

Looks like Miley Cyrus got to stay up past her bedtime to make an appearance on Leno, but she was accompanied by her dad, because she’s a minor. I wonder if she’s accompanied by her dad in your sick sexual fantasies that you have of her. I wouldn’t be surprised, but that’s just because you were at his concert in ‘93 front row doin’ the achy breaky dance…..wishing you could have the allure and charisma and tallent of Billy Ray….

Either way, I watched the interview and I think she treats her dad like shit. Maybe she knows that he was a big joke in the 90s but for some reason all the factory workin’ women in our nation wanted his dick, or maybe she’s just a product of the generation of self serving, materialistic, obnoxious, wise beyond their teenage years because of shows like the OC and Degrassi, suckin’ dick at 12, doin’ anal at 14, makin’ sex tapes at 14 and a Half like they were paris hilton. Or maybe she’s just a spoiled cunt who needs daddy to lay down the achy breaky law, because you know a molested or abused chick would never act up like this…..

But I guess none of that matters, this Hannah Montanna shit is so bringing in the money hard, let the meal ticket make fun of him all she wants, because he’s got power of attorney over that shit….and the Nazi secret society at Disney don’t like bruises on the girls they exploit……

Bonus: The Interview - If you can really consider that a bonus:

Another Bonus - Miley Cyrus Eats Ketchup Like She’s Poor