Esther Canadas is some Spanish supermodel from a bunch of years ago who I’ve never heard about because despite loving supermodels, I don’t really keep tabs on them. I am too busy doing nothing to really care. What I do know is that whatever this girl did to her face scares the fuck out of me.

Speaking of scary, someone wrote into the site asking me if I ever planned on writing a children’s book. The answer was no and my life isn’t interesting enough for an autobiography, because I haven’t really accomplished shit. I couldn’t really do a self-help book, because out of the 5 people lame enough to buy it, they’d all probably end up killing themselves because that’s my solution to all problems and if I was to do a coffee table book, it would just be of chicks spreading their vaginas because I think vagina is the most interesting thing to look at. So I wrote her back saying I had a choose your own adventure in the works, that no matter what path you take, you always end up finding out that you’re gay in the end.

Speaking of Gay, nothing is screams lesbian outfit more than seeing a chick in a business suit….other than seeing a chick in construction boots, flannel and denim, but that’s a whole other kind of lesbian, one that I don’t want to see have sex….