Here are some 4th of July pictures of Liv Tyler suntanning with her unkown hotter friend who actually gets topless, instead of acting conservative like boring Liv Tyler. I think I already posted these, but make of point of forgetting all thing Liv Tyler since she’s fucking ugly and despite popular belief, she does actually have a vagina and the pregnancy pictures, babies and post pregnancy body to prove it and since I am not gay, I have no choice but to recognize all vaginas in bikinis.

Speaking of gay, I ran into a gay friend of mine the other day and we started talking about how he found out he was gay. It had nothing to do with having crushes on boys in his class or on TV, it didn’t happen after getting molested or taken advantage of by some pervert and he wasn’t introduce him to the beautfiul sexually deviant lifestyle by a friend he liked or respected. It happened over a period of time starting when in a long term relationship with a girl he used to cum inside.

One night, they were getting it on about an hour after they fucked and dude finished inside her. He got down to business eating her out and about 5 minutes into it a blob of his own cum fell into his mouth. He loved the taste and went nuts for more making her cum a few times but didn’t realize what it was until after the fact and he put 2 and 2 together and when he did he ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth 10 times and make himself puke.

Over the course of the next year, he came to terms with the fact that he liked his cum and started eating it after jerking off, he would lick it off his chick, suck it out of her chick, anything to get the taste, shit was like a drug and he needed a daily fix because he was addicted. It went on for years and one day her started wondering what other dudes taste like and it became an obsession that he couldn’t get it out of his head no matter how hard he tried, eventually meeting a bisexual friend and the rest is pretty much history.

So if you don’t want to become gay, don’t eat your own cum and more importantly don’t look at these Liv Tyler pics too long, cuz I hear she has that affect on men.

BONUS – PICTURES OF THE GIRL SHE’S HAVING HER BIKINI PARTY WITH- I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS, PROBABLY ONE OF HER STEPMOTHERS….

Here’s something you’ve all been waiting for, Liv Tyler showing off her post pregnancy body in a bikini on the beach. She’s the pasty kind of slut you like cumming on because shit turns invisible against her white skin and that makes you feel like some kind of super hero, something you’ve wanted since you were a virgin with a huge comic book collection and an affinity for wearing tights in front of the mirror, because it gave you a boner.
I guess the closest you’ll get to fuckin’ her is jerking off to the high quality print outs on that expensive printer you bought for occasions like this. You’ve had a thing for Aerosmith, since getting down to “Dude Looks Like a Lady” because you used to lay in bed imagining it was written about you while squeezing your nipples, and wondering if you’d ever meet someone as sexy as Steven Tyler, but since that makes you gay, you’ll settle for the bi-product of an Aerosmith one night stand….
Either way, her sister is a plus sized model, I guess it’s genetic and I look forward to her future rolls in movies playing the Wal Mart cashier or maybe if she’s lucky, Roseanne in her biopic…it could be the role of a lifetime….

I guess the unfortunate thing for Liv Tyler is that the make-up she’s buying isn’t going to do much for her busted face except for maybe make little kids happy and ask her for some balloon animals. It’s not like the shit is the re-constructive surgery in a bottle that she would be better off getting but that’s only because I think she’s ugly and you probably don’t and neither does she, otherwise she’d spend some her hard earned Aerosmith Daddy Was Never Part of My LIfe as a Kid But His Guilt has Given Me a Career and a Hefty Trust Fund and Inheritance that My Groupie Mother Could Have Never Delivered On…on some plastic surgery. Either way, I hate Aerosmith and everything they have produced including Liv Tyler…..the abortion his groupie should have had but realized it coulda been a solid meal ticket, like winning the fucking lottery.

P.S. I know the real story is that her mom was a slut of a model who banged musicians and she just thought that Liv was her boyfriend’s kid and not Steven Tyler’s because she probably didn’t want the boyfriend knowing she was slamming the dude from Aerosmith on the side and either would you, not because cheating is wrong, but because Steven Tyler is. None of that really matters and the true story kinda ruined my post. Thanks truth, it’s true, you really do hurt.