Lindsay Lohan was offered 1,000,000 dollars from OK magazine to announce she’s a lesbian. Call me a sell out, but I’d get a sex change and suck a dick a day for the rest of my life for 1,000,000 dollars. I figure I hate fucking my wife anyway and my penis is pretty much already a vagina and I can afford to buy expensive moist toilettes to wipe my face down when the dick is done having it’s way with me. I guess I am just cheaper than Lohan and realize that 1,000,000 dollars probably isn’t much to her, but I also don’t give a fuck about what having a sex change or sucking dick for the rest of my life does to my career, I think it’s pretty clear I have no self-respect and don’t care what you think about me.

Either way, here’s Lohan’s potentially lesbian vagina covered in a hot pair of clean black underwear exposed as she fights with the wind, who turned out to be the biggest pervert at event because I wasn’t invited because no one takes me seriously, but if I was invited, I would have definitely put on a wig and a short skirt and finger-banged her because I hear she’s into that and don’t need to give her 1,000,000 dollars to find out.

On a side note, I will pay Ellen Page 2 dollars to admit she’s a lesbian, even though I already know the answer to that.

Here are some pictures of a classy Megan Fox with her shitty tattoo and hot tits that got her out of the gutter she obviously came from because no girl from money would be impressed by Brian Austin Green enough to let him have sex with them.

I read somewhere that bitch was poverty and luckily for her family, she wasn’t ugly, because when you’re poor and have a good lookin’ kid, it only means one thing and that is a meal ticket. The reason is that poor ugly girl just have absolutely no hope where as a hot poor girl can always find a way out, whether it’s sucking dick for money, dancing on a pole for money, or hooking up with older married men, getting pregnant and blackmailing them for money. There are options…

I guess the point of all this is to say that her Marilyn Monroe tattoo is obsolete now that Lohan has taken on her personal and trying to steal her thunder. Now every time anyone looks at Megan Fox they are going to think of Lohan. It’s kinda like the time a friend of mine drank the last beer, so I fucked this girlfriend when they were on a break and gave her herpes, knowing they would get back together and every time she gets an outbreak they’ll think of me. I win motherfucker….

The cool thing about drugs is that it turns people in to grey unhealthy lookin’ crazy people. It rapes them from the inside when I can’t. I still woulda slammed Lohan during her dark addiction years that I am pretty sure she’ll be revisiting soon enough because getting fucked and fucked up is a lot more exciting than sitting around doing nothing all day, but these pictures of her lookin’ refreshed in yellow remind of the Lohan I decided to stalk 3 years ago. She still doesn’t know I exist because I am not really good at much, and stalking takes too much fucking work, but if I had followed through on it, I woulda definitely been on Entertainment Tonight.

She looks happier than you’ve ever been in these pics, I was thinking maybe it’s because she rekindled shit with her dad, then I was thinking it was cuz she kicked her addictions, but then I realized that she’s supposed to be getting out in 2 weeks and she can probably taste the cocaine and smell the cum drippin off her chin.

I just got an email from someone from my past who recognized my voice in one of the videos. He told me that he’s been lookin’ for me for 7 years and that I am dead. I think that means I just got a death threat. I’ll let you know how that works out for me….but after lookin at these Lohan the Sunshine of my Life pictures I don’t think anything can go wrong….she’s my guardian angel and by angel I mean she’s my target vagina to lick in my lifetime….we all need to have goals….otherwise what’s the point of livin’….