It turns out that a 40 year old Lohan has very little to do now that her career is pretty much non existent so bitch is hitting up one of the classier nights of the week at WWE’s Monday Night Raw. In my life, I’ve never understood much about wrestling or the hype about wrestling other than that every Italian or Greek dude I’ve ever met has had a thing for it and that it is the closest thing to gay porn on TV, because half naked dudes, greased up and pretending to fight by rolling all over each other’s half naked body is what the gays call foreplay.

Maybe I’m just traumatized by wrestling, because I remember when growing up, I knew a kid who always wanted to wrestle and not knowing any better, I went for it. After pinning the motherfucker down, I felt his boner against my leg and realized he was a little too into wrestling for me. Later in life I remember wrestling girl expecting it to lead to fooling around but it turned out that it wasn’t foreplay, it was just rape.

Either way, despite the mask, this dude’s not me, in case you were wondering, because if it was me my had would be up Lohan’s shirt dress and I’d be trying to suck on her haggard face, not to mention I would be wearing my favorite soiled sweatpants and not a shirt that’s got more life than my vomit after a night of drinking…