Models aren’t supposed to eat. What is this craziness. Eating would go against everything they stand for, they do coke and diet coke, they do drinking and chewing gum, they do anorexic and other eating disorders, so seeing this model chowing the fuck down like she was Dan and Roseanne is on some “I hate you mom and dad” rebellious kick, like when a kid goes into art school when his dad is a doctor and planned for him to be a doctor too or some shit…..
So this is for the dudes who like fat chicks and want to see the slow death of a skinny chick cuz if she keeps up this behavior it won’t be long before she’s 300 pounds and it’s all because she’s spent so many years trying to stay skinny. End of a fuckin’ era, which is ok because I don’t find her hot….
Lily Cole went from supermodel to super fat. Not that she was worth jerking off to to begin with, I mean unless if you like orange pubic haired obscure lookin’ models that give the weird lookin tall girl in high school’s around the world hope of one day being models because the fashion industry is run by gays and they don’t know what real men want but focus on what the clothes need and the whole thing is fucked up.
I guess not as fucked up as her weight gain that I guess is some kind of statement that she won’t starve for the sake of work anymore, or maybe she’s trying to rebel against the only thing she has going for her, in some self-destructive bullshit that wouldd be like me quitting drinking, joining a gym and getting a fuckin’ job, not that that will ever happen, but I’m trying to give you an idea of the magnitude of what is going on in these pictures and I’m not talking about the abuse her pants are going through…
I never understood the Rachel Hunter appeal when she was big in the 80s, I always just assumed it was a glitch in the modeling agency process, like she squeezed in because at the time plus sized models didn’t exist, but SI needed someone with tits and she was eager or some shit, you know a right time, right place situation, but then Rod Stewart swept her up, because one day when he was feeling hetero he picked up the issue of SI and said get me the biggest blonde in here to reaffirm to the public that I am all fuckin’ man, and chose her because she was the one who looked most like his first love he met in a gay bath house named “Roger” but pronounced “RawJay”, like he was french, but really nothing but a poof.
Either way, she’s still around, she looks like hell, and if you jerked off to her 20 years ago, here’s the aftermath.
This girl gets paid millions of dollars to model clothes and to make girls feel insecure about their bodies because they aren’t in the fashion mags and she is.
When I look at her I see a fuckin’ monster and if I was to cross her on the fucking street the last thing I would do is offer her a modeling contract. I’d either cross the street clutching my purse like I just saw a black dude, or I’d hire her to work in my touring carnival freak show that I’ve been trying to get started up, or maybe I’d just ask her to do porn, because porn is non-judgemental and likes all kind of ugly, just as long as it takes loads on its face, or really on any body part.
I think Heidi Klum is amazing. She’s an older mom and she still does what she did to me many years ago when I first heard about her. I know alot of you racists can’t handle the fact that she is married to a black man, you know because you are intimidated by black dick, but whenever I get down and out, I turn on some Seal and shit is so good it makes me want to fuck him, you know German scat styles, flinging shit at each other like we’re a couple of chimps, only to end up pinned up against the wall and ripped apart by his very large penis, like I was Heidi fucking Klum.
Here she is doing some photoshoot for some German Vogue shit, she’s lookin’ a little beat up, which isn’t that much of a shock, because German’s are insane and into that kind of thing. If there is blood, death and shit, it’s good to go….
Kanye’s lesbian master of the strap-on was some kind of booty model before she was fuckin him up the ass because it’s not gay when a chick does it to you and because fucking Kanye up the ass has a serious upside, like getting more famous than doing free photoshoots for local ghetto magazines who pay you in donuts and $20 gift certificate to the local movie theater, and like lots of free clothes and the chance to tell your friends you fucked Kanye up the ass like the little bitch that he is….
I am not feeling this, but I am only into chicks with eating disorders because my wife’s and I are fat enough to make me never see an ounce of fat again, even when the fat is distributed awkwardly throughout her body, leaving her skinny in some spots and obese in others, making me feel like I had a fucking stroke lookin’ at her because I can’t make sense of it…..and fucking with every guy who hit on her and got a date with her back when she worked behind the cash at walmart/McDonald’s when they could only get a good view of the waste up.
I know some of you dig this big booty shit, so I’ll fucking post it, but I’d rather it be in video…. but all I could find was this bikini car wash shit…..that I don’t think is her….
And some Women in Song Shit….
And the Best Mall Performance of All Time….I think this may be Lady Gaga Before she was Famous….
I’ve gone down a bit of a weird road the last few posts. I probably shouldn’t have gone down them, but sometimes it’s okay to post shit that I’d normally never post, especially when I am feeling lost and confused. The truth is sometimes you need to switch things up and take that road you were explicitly told not to take by your foster mother because the guy who lives at the end of the street is fucking creepy and a reported sex offender. You know try new things, even though she told you over and over again not to knock on his door to ask for money for the church charity you were running, but if I had listened I would have never made the 25 dollars and got the chance to sit on Santa’s pantless lap in the middle of July and tell him all the things I wanted before having him tell me all the things he wanted to do to me….if you know what I mean.
To get my focus back, here are some nipples from some Paris Week Fashion show, because nipples are awesome.
Here are some old modeling pictures of Megan Fox from when she was younger and her lips were far less tainted, less swollen and less diseased from all the abuse she has put them through in her quest to be the next Angelina Jolie. Yes. I am talking about her whore pussy and not her collagen filled mess on her face. The same whore pussy I would throw a saddle on a ride into the sunset. The same whore pussy I would strap into and break speed records. The same whore pussy I would teach to do circus tricks. The same whore pussy I’d hose the fuck down like a Zoo animal on a hot summer day because it’s had David from 90210 in it first. I don’t know where I am going with this, but here are old modeling pictures from a much simpler time.
BONUS – I think this video of teens out of control are of Megan Fox in her youth, but I could be wrong. It happens everyday…
I guess this is just another hard day at the office for model Angela Lindvall, who was seen shooting some Jimmy Choo ad on 5th Avenue in a bikini in October. To think people say that models have it easy, I mean, getting down to a bikini in the middle of a New York street in the fall early in the morning, after spending a night doing blow in a VIP room with rock stars and celebrities, after a 3 week stint of time off spent sleeping in and going to nice restaurants, because as a model work’s not always constant and as a model you really only need a job a month to make enough money to live the life of luxury, is a lot harder than what you do, you lazy free loading fuck.
The point of this post is I like this campaign and hope that it ends up in a Vietnamese Lady Bar bathroom with a skirt hiked up around it’s waist and a garden hose attached to the toilet to wash out her cooch…if you know what I mean….which you probably don’t which is okay,because here are a lot of pictures to distract you from me being not funny.
I saw these pictures of Juliette Lewis modeling from what I assume is Fashion Week in New York that just ended, but I don’t really know because I don’t stay on top of that shit, but I do know that hiring Juliette Lewis to be a model for anything but a drug program doesn’t make sense. I guess the company was on a tight budget and Juliettee Lewis needed the money bad because she owes her dealer or some shit, because she has no business doing this. It’s like hiring Rosie O’Donnell to model swimwear, but not any swimwear, really skimpy and sexual swimwear.
Sure Juliette Lewis is skinny enough to be a model because she’s a fuckin crackhead, but she’s is so fuckin’ ratty lookin, that I wouldn’t want to buy those clothes she wore, but would instead want to burn them for public safety. Sure, I am exaggerating a little, but I would take my wife’s chicken broth/week old kitchen garbage smelling pussy over whatever the fuck this Juliette Lewis bitch has got brewing in her unwashed panties, which I assume smells like feces, rotting meat and death and if you don’t believe me, just look at the pictures, before the paparazzi email me to take them down.
So there was a time when a very different lookin’ Angelina Jolie was just some typical rich kid slut who loved attention and who hated herself who got half naked in front of the camera while high in what looks to be some kind of Snuff film, but that doesn’t end like a snuff film should, but instead becomes the gateway to some long lasting career as some dark girl we all wanna fuck, but I see through the act and know she’s more hungry for attention than she ever was for cock, but realized cock was the vehicle for attention.
This is old, you’ve probably seen it already, I am posting it anyway, because it reminds me of videos I try making for girls with no daddies who I meet at the bus shelter, only they never go onto become famous. Enjoy.
Keep in mind that I didn’t double check whether this video works or not, it’s old, so I guess who really cares. Right?
What people don’t realize when they jerk off to these pictures of models in Sports Illustrated or their mom’s Victoria’s Secret catalog is that models aren’t hot in person. They are fucking scarey genetic freaks of nature that are look like they have these tight, nice bodies, but the second you stand next to them and realize you go up to their shoulders and that their shoulers are broader than you, that whole perspective changes.
I saw a picture that I can’t find of Kurkova a couple of weeks ago standing next to a normal sized girl and bitch looked like she was about to eat her. I knew then that this product of Chernobyl was not going to last long because her true very large colors were eventually going to be obvious to everyone.
Now, I hear that she’s losing her modeling contract unless she drops some weight and here are the pictures explaining why.
Here’s a video of Marisa Miller at her boxing club because I am guessing that is how she keeps fit. There’s something magical about seeing a girl exercise because my wife is a pig and just getting her off the couch is a work out for her fat ass and that’s more disgusting than it is hot.
There’s also something magical of seeing a girl who could kick my ass that looks like Marisa Miller because most girls who can kick my ass are scary fucking lesbians on a mission to rip off my penis and hold it up like some kind of very small and embarrassing victory for men with their very tiny trophy representing bringing evil men down.
What I really like is how Marisa Miller rocks that speed bag but that’s just because I haven’t had a good hand job since I was 14 and it looks like she could really bring it, when most girls who aren’t virgins are lazy and more inclined to just let you stick it in them because it’s less work on their arm and less self-less because if they’re letting in their junk their better be something in it for them, when a handjob is just about giving. The sports bra, despite hating what sports bras do to tits makes reliving that experience from years ago with budding breasts in a training bra more believable….Thanks supermodel for reminding me that my life sucks.
In being hungover, uninspired, bored and lazy. I decided to let some girl who added me to facebook write this post without having seen the pictures because this shit’s like American Idol, the blog version, only difference is, writing on the site doesn’t make you an idol to anyone except maybe to people in third world countries, but that’s just because they’re jealous that you have a computer and free time to spend writing garbage for a website, while they’re out working the field and eating bugs to survive.
This is what she wrote:
Cindy Crawford is an ugly old bitch who sucks and I ahte her. I wish she would take that mole off her face and shove it down her throat so that she’d choke and then die. But I’d still fuck her.
I always like watching middle-aged women trying to relive their youth. I was walking down the street the other day and saw some annoying mother with her two tween daughters wearing the same fucking outfit. They all had tights, UGGS, cellphones with decorative bullshit on them and were all drinking an iced coffee drink from Starbucks like they were Hayden Panettiere, who by the way, I decided to mention in every post today. They were all talking like annoying fucking teenage girls and for some reason, it made me want to take the mom’s virginity, even though it was long gone.
I was at a bar the other day and saw a group of older bitches trying to rock out to Soulja Boy. They were laughing and having a good time, which was good because based on their looks they didn’t have much else going for them and it was nice to see that despite their shortcomings and bad aging, they could still have a good time. I don’t think they had any idea what the Soulja Boy song or the dance was, but they were wasted and looking for husbands. It was funny realizing that I am the same age as they are but I am way more in tune with pop culture….I got my finger on the pulse of that shit thanks to the internet being my social life and everyone knows that doing an old lady dirty get me pregnant so I can have meaning in my useless lonely one night stand filled life old lady dance to Soulja Boy just doesn’t fly, like Superman….Crank Dat.
Either way, here is Heidi Klum back on the runway for her Project Runway show, that I like to call the retirement plan, because bitch is too old to model, but still looks better than you do when you put on your mom’s heels and pose in front of the mirror, fruitcake.
