This is the booty the Seal fucks the shit out of before not pulling the fuck out and knocking her the fuck up for the 10th fucking time all bounced back into shape after giving birth to their latest mixed-race creature. She is already getting world modeling for some German bullshit and she remains a good freak of nature because even teenage girls with eatin disorders don’t bounce back from their baby-weight this fat….another thing in her life that is a freak of nature….Seal’s face…but that doesn’t really matter, what does matter is when are they going to release a sex tape…because I can only assume as a German woman and a very large black man with a mangled face….the shit is fucking demonic to watch…I’m talking scat, bondage, latex and piss…possible inclusion of midgets and barn animals…I don’t fucking know…I just know it’ll be good and not even because of how hot this bitch is, just because I know there is a reason for all their breeding and I want a glimpse into it….

Either way, Heidi Klum has a substantially better body than every single mother I have met over the last few decades and that’s all I have to saw about that…

Pics via Fame

Reese Witherspoon is constantly out fighting her her obvious fate as a fat Southern mom and grandma, by the looks of these pictures of her working out, her ass is winning. Kinda like her vagina won in the fight to lock Ryan Phillippe down by getting pregnant during a drunken hook up while on the Cruel Intentions set, but they aren’t together now, and either is her new boyfriend and his one true love Heath Ledger, so I guess things that aren’t meant to be just find a way to not be, and soon she’ll be trading in these workout pants in for a pair of elastic band jeans from the plus sized store but not to work out in, just to walk around in, because that’s what happens when they don’t make clothes in your size. Just ask my wife..

Denise Richard’s looks like she’s finally broken down and dug deep into the depths of her closet to pull out a pair of her fat jeans she kept in the event she ever went back to her original fat self, from before she was famous. That’s the only explination I have for these 1990 jeans that look like they were worn to a Poison concert before she fucked 3/4 of the band and the idea of getting with them was just high school masturbation fantasies that she realized would only get played out if she stopped getting seconds and eating desert and started getting cast in movies as the slut who will take her shirt off. I guess now that the dreams have all been realized, she’s on that slippery slope back to where she came from and I guess we should embrace what we see today, because like the woman you married getting too comfortable, it’s only going to get worse and there really is no end in sight…..I guess the good news is that we all have access to her prime by watching all the shitty movies she did naked so that we can try to forget the horrible reality of where she is now.