I am a little slow on this shit, because let’s face it, 40 year old cunts in bikinis aren’t really what I live for, unless they end in 40 year old sex tapes. If anything I find it almost comical when I see a 40 year old in a bikini. Maybe it’s got something to do with being raised in the late 70s and 80s, a time when the one-piece rand shit, but I think it’s got more to do with 40 year old women having shitty bodies, except maybe when they are genetically altered like Naomi Campbell where she’s all legs, no fat and all attitude thanks to a career of modeling that left her with an ego, a billionaire finance and the whitest lookin’ teeth against her black as night skin, in which case, I shouldn’t complain and just post the pictures….and that’s what I am going to do because knowing I spent 4 minutes writing about Naomi Campbell depresses me.
Naomi Campbell is a model who I thought was retired, but I guess she felt the need to grace the world with her dark, luxurious, wallet fucking nipples at whatever fashion week is going on right now, since every week seems to be fucking fashion week, making me excited for the week that isn’t fashion week and that I can stop walking around in this tuxedo I made out of garbage bags to try and fit in like I was invited to these red carpet high profile, homoerotic yet luxurious fashion shows, instead of just left here to die, so that I can crawl back into the soiled sweatpants I pretty much have made a part of me by not ever taking them off….and even sometimes showering with them and by showering I mean getting caught in the rain, cuz showers are for idiots……
I have this feeling Naomi Campbell smells like shit, she just has that look that even if she showers, you know like she’s rotting on the inside from all the preservatives she’s ingested over the years to land billionaire cock. She’s trash, no matter how many billionaires she marries, or how decadent her ass thinks she is and here she is showing off her nipples like a common whore, that I haven’t decided whether wanting them makes you gay or straight….
I have a feeling that I haven’t recovered from the weekend because I reread part of this and it made no fucking sense…
Summer is almost over and I haven’t seen nearly enough bikinis, so this weekend I am planning on finding the nearest beach, where girls will be in bikinis and where I will be hiding in the bushes watching. People always ask me why I insist on hiding in the bushes because they find it weird and I tell them it is a lot less weird than masturbating in public, if anything masturbating in public is frowned upon and enough to get a motherfucker arrested so we keep it behind the brush like some Vietnam war vet reliving the days in the jungle. Not that I actually masturbate, my dick barely works these daysand these pics of Naomi Campbell in her bikini aren’t helping me, even though I love black girls and I love crotches, but what may help though is my friend who had some prostate issues has given me a Cyalis and apparently after taking that shit a gust of wind will make me hard for the next 3 days, which is either gonna result in some serious chronic masturbation til my dick burns off from the friction or someone is gonna get raped. I will let you know how it works out for me….if I don’t get arrested…
Someone sent me this picture of Naomi Campbell flashing her genitals at some party because they know I like black girls and creeping on girls on balconies.
I do have black girl fetish that I’ve never been able to live out because black girls don’t seem to like fat poor drunk mexicans at least not when they are me. After inspecting this picture, I think the key word the reader who sent this in missed out on was GIRL, cuz he definitely got the black part right, but there is no way that’s a vagina, or at least like any vagina I have ever seen, it’s goot be testicle or cock peeking out of her pants, or maybe it’s the alien from ALIEN, cuz it looks like it’s waving at me or some shit and I am scared.
Naomi Campbell was out on a boat with her Russian billionaire real estate entrepreneur/russian mobster, who she is either married to or engaged to because crazy high maintenance cunts like billionaires and russians are the only kind of sadist motherfuckers who can handle crazy high maintenance cunts.
At least that’s what my homie Vladimir used to tell me everytime he got caught up with a crazy escort, because apparently no matter how insane the bitch got, he said they had nothing on the girl’s back home, then he’d beat the fuck out of them.
Not that it matters, what does matter is that Naomi Campbell is hosing down her stinky cunt and I’m not just saying that to be racist, because I love black pussy and dream about it at night, I am saying it because why else would a bitch be hosing down her cunt. I guess maybe it’s to get the salt water out of the shit cuz it’s making the herpes scabs burn, but I prefer thinking she chronically smells like rotting seafood because stinky pussy makes me feel alive, or at least keeps me awake everytime I go down on a bitch, so that I don’t fall asleep in her pussy like some kind of asshole.
I have no fucking idea why I am posting the Naomi Campbell beach pictures, there’s absolutely nothing interesting about this shit, except maybe the social challenges they face being an interracial couple, you know the pressure of their peers and the obvious looks they get when they are seen kissing in public, but even that topic is played the fuck out, so I’d like to think that people are only lookin cuz her boyfriend is clearly a homosexual.
The world needs more crazy tits, not that Naomi Campbell’s tits are crazy, but she’s rumored to be based on all the bratty scenes she causes, but that’s just what happens when you grow up without a father and are raised by a nanny while you’re whore mother is off traveling the world. She’s just one of those rich bitches who thinks the world revolves around her, not that it really matters and I don’t really know what I am writing my psychological assessment of her based on her Wikipedia page, maybe I should go into stories of how black girls won’t fuck me, despite me wanting to fuck them, or maybe talk about how a friend of mine who only fucks black girls told me that only Haitian’s suck dick and that’s why they get the bad reputation from other black people as being scum, but that’s not very interesting to talk about. I could go on about how I always get the lap dances from black girls and smell of their perfume for a good week, because of a combination of me not showering and them whore showering, but instead I’ll just post the fucking pictures, because combined with with this write-up, makes this probably the worst post I’ve ever done. We can always bring our A-Game…or in this case…any game.
Here are some shitty Naomi Campbell pictures, I’ve lost interest in posting for the day, I actually lost interest many fucking years ago, but when I am given these shitty quality pics of Naomi Campbell in a bikini, who could really be anyone in a bikini, and the only identifier that it is in fact her is that we know normal black girls are too busy working to be laying in the sun, unless they are hookers/strippers/pornstars in Miami or Jennifer Hudson. But I figure it’s worth lookin’ at.
Vladislav Doronin is some Russian Real Estate Billionaire. I didn’t know Russian Billionaires existed. Maybe he’s Russian Mob. I know they exist, one of them showed me his gun once while I worked as a valet where he parked his mom’s shitty car. I am guessing he wasn’t some Russian Billionaire, but probably the lowest on the fucking ladder, but at least he had a gun and a pony tail.
But I guess during the fall of communism a whole lot of people came out on top, maybe by buying the land off the government to make non-communist buildings, like for stores and restaurants and shit like that and by the looks of this dude he probably built his first couple buildings with his teeth.
Naomi Campbell managed to bag him because as you know, being a cunt who thinks she’s a fucking princess, landing a billionaire is the only thing she doesn’t already have and the only thing she can’t afford and is the way she’ll ever be satisfied. You know, for a cunt who’s got everything and a whole lot of money, the last thing on the list was a billionaire to make her cunt complete and like my friend down the street who needed a wife, she went to Russia, because I guess that’s where you go to find mates, his wasn’t a billionaire though, she was some ragged looking prostitute who didn’t shower and didn’t look like the picture he chose out of the catalog and when she got here wasn’t much of a wife, because everyone got a chance to fuck her, even me!
Either way, the only way I could understand why a Russian Billionaire would bother getting with this bitch, not only is she old and tired and not even a model anymore, but she’s got a history of being fucking crazy, and for someone who could go for any currently active model, celebrity, or everyday girl, or multiple everyday girls, or multiple celebrities, or multiple models, there’s no explanation for this.
Maybe all that money has made him hate himself for the things he did to get there, or maybe he’s fucking crazy, or maybe she reminds him of some dictator or leader who issued the rationed bread in his one room home his family of 12 grew up in where they’d share cabbage soup and a potato they baked on a government issued candle before tending to the fields or sleeping in a puddle of water in the middle of winter, where his boss would whip him and throw oxen feces at his face because he didn’t work fast enough, but I don’t really know either of them so I can’t be the judge of why they are together, maybe it’s love, I think it’s got more to do with a sadistic need to have an uncontrollable wife, but I can say having two beach boys in speedos tending to your needs is pretty fucking gay…
I guess no one really gives a fuck about Naomi Campbell, but I am in the mood to post skinny, rich, blacker than night, black chick tits and I had pretty limited options. I don’t know when these pictures were taken, I don’t know why they were taking, but I am going to go out on a limb and assume that they are work-related as she is a model. I met a model last night, she turned out to not be a real model, but an elderly model in the Wal Mart flyers/circulars/whatever the fuck they are called, she was just sitting at this hotel bar having a drink like it ain’t a thang, no one was going up to her and harassing her, like I’d expect and it was the closest brush with celebrity I ever had. It was even more memorable than telling Wesley Snipes he deserved an Oscar for Passneger 57 because shit changed my life, before he went broke and sits in a van outside his re-possessed home dreaming of the good old days and calling his agent to see if they got him lined up for that Sears athletic line ad because he needs the money to pay the rent on his 1 bedroom apartment. I asked her about how hard it was to really make the excitement on her face while her “grandkids” were jumping into a pile of leaves so believable and she just looked at me, square in the face and said “talent”. I got her autograph, I’d scan it, but I don’t have a scanner, but I do have these Naomi Campbell pics to tide you over…
I love that these retired supermodels have nothing better to do with their time than sit on yachts in their bikinis a week every month. It’s like Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss and a few other models just don’t know what to do with themselves now that work consists of not working because they are not young anymore and if they do get work, it is just some cameo shit so that people remember them all while their bank accounts are already full and they are set for life. It must be a pretty horrible feeling knowing that all that’s left for you is death, kinda like the retired people I know who try to get jobs as the Wal Mart greeter just to give themselves something to do, because when they end up doing nothing all day, they find themselves getting older, lazier and dead.
Either way, I am slow moving today, because like a supermodel, I don’t actually like doing anything during the day but sitting, I like to think I am always on vacation and here are some pictures of Naomi Campbell getting a tan on a yacht which is a good thing because I saw some pics of her a couple weeks ago and I was getting nervou because girl looked like a ghost and was like get this pasty white bitch out of here get her some fuckin’ sun and bring me back the Naomi Campbell I know. I guess it’s hard finding the time to maintain the darkest pigment skin in the world.
I fell in love with a black chick and I’d tell you the story, but you’ll just call me out for being racist, even though it’s what actually happened, but I guess since I don’t care about what you think, I’ll write it anyway.
So, I went out to KFC to get my wife a bucket of chicken, and this black chick in the shortest fucking skirt and low cut shirt walks in like she’s Naomi Campbell and should be walking the runways in Paris and not the line-up at a fried chick place. Her body was lean, her legs were long and her tits were huge and she made me mad that I never bagged a black girl because I was always too scared they’d rob me. About a minute later, her pimp or boyfriend or dude she’s fuckin’ walks in and motherfucker was definitely packin’ heat, so I just minded my own business as they went at each other and her fondled her ass and stuck his tongue down her throat and she grabbed at his dick one minute, like they were at a swingers party but were really just at a fried chicken place, something equally sexy to some people. I just looked the other way because I wasn’t going to get shot and ignored them as they fought over their order and dude turned around and slapped her across the face for stepping out of line because he only had enough money for 1 drink and she called him a broke ass nigger in front of the whole restaurant, the next minute. It was a beautiful experience, one of total dysfunction and ghettoness, one far more beautiful than Naomi Campbell in a bikini kissing some rich white dude.
I am all about washed up models wearing stupid costumes to 80s parties with other washed up models only because shit reminds me of every hipster party I’ve ever been too, where motherfuckers rape thrift shops and American Apparel only to act like everyday is Halloween. The difference is that Naomi Campbell is rich and doesn’t have to hide her cocaine from her other hipster friends for fear that they are going to want a bump that will bite into her stash that she won’t be able to replenish until her dad wires her the weekly stipend he has set up for her to go to University, because she’s a rich kid.
I am also all about the fact that bitch is insane and insane girls get me excited, except for this insane girl I once banged who was emotionally unstable. I used a condom even though I am anti condom because I didn’t know what gutter she crawled out of, but she smelled like it wasn’t a very clean one and half way into it, she was begging me to take off the condom and cum inside her because she wanted to feel what it’s like to have my baby….
That scared me enough to finish up fast and run to the bathroom to flush the condom because I didn’t want her to turn it inside out and try to knock herself up. In retrospect, I should have let her have my baby, she would have made a decent mother and has been the only woman to ever ask me to get her pregnant on the first date.
Bonus – Some Slag Named Jenny Frost I’ve Never Heard of at the Same Party
Another Bonus – Kate Moss and her Boyfriend at the Party
