There’s not much hotter than some Sloppy Royal Tits. Not because they are worth a lot of money, or because they embody class and elegance, or because they are a product of incest to keep their Sloppy Royal Tit blood blue, but because I have no standards. Today just started. Are you ready for it?

Here are some pictures of Britney’s nipples crying, but the good news is that they aren’t as sad as her vagina, thanks to the two pregnancies in over two years and her giving up on life which included but wasn’t limited to not washing or tending to her vagina needs.

Here are some pics….

Britney Spears’ nipples remind me of this skinny girl I once knew, who the second you’d get naked, the truth would come spilling the fuck out all over the fuckin’ place. Her tits would drop, her ass would fuckin’ drop and her legs would have the dirtiest cellulite I pretty much ever saw, before marrying my wife, he turns out to be made up of 98 percent cellulite and 2 percent useless fuckin’ lazy cunt who annoys the fuck out of me and lowers the little self esteem I have when I have to admit that not only did I fuck her in a bad drunk decision, but I also married the whore.

These pictures of Adriana Lima are doing the rounds and no one seems to know when they are from and I guess who really cares. They are Adriana Lima’s fucking nipples and she’s probably the hottest thing out of Victoria’s Secret since that bra and pantyset I bought myself for “halloween” last July. What used to make Lima even hotter than being hot was the fact that she was a good catholic virgin, unfortunately that fantasy’s been destroyed because she’s supposed to be married and pregnant, but that’s okay, because virginity just means blood, discomfort and bad sex. The only real good thing about virgins is that you can’t get Aids from them, unless they’ve had blood transfusions or done anal with faggots or blacks.

Speaking of Aids, I was talking to this girl the other night who asked me what my parents did, since I don’t have parents, I had to be creative about the lie, something I’ve been doing for a long time and I am good at, so I told her that my family invented the condom and I come from a long line of condom people and she made some comment about how I have no excuse but to have safe sex or something implying that I use condoms and I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea and think I was one of those prudes, because I’m not.

So I went on a rant about being a self-hating heir to the condom empire and everytime I fuck I make sure to not use condoms while screaming “Fuck you dad for ruining my life” like some kind of spoiled brat, only to proudly disply my herpes scab at Christmas fucking dinner so that he fucking knows.

She thought I was weird. So it may be a bad approach, but here’s Lima nipple to forget my story and move on with your life…

Everyone hates on Rumer Willis wondering why the hell she looks like something that could only grow up next to a power plant or something, you know someone who developed in the womb feeding off radiation and whatever remnants of drugs, alcohol in Demi’s mutated uterus, but the truth is she looks just like her wonky-faced mother, before the millions of dollars of plastic surgery and I guess that’s part of the reason why Ashton Kutcher fucks her, you know to get with an ugly, younger version of his wife while giving her the confidence she needs to not kill herself, because if Ashton fucks her, that probably means other guys will too and tons of girls would die to fuck Ashton since they find him hot, kind of thing, so in a lot of ways, his pity sex saved her fuckin’ life while fueling his perversions, even though she’d be much more successful as a lesbian because lesbians are less judgemental and like pussy for the person behind the pussy and that is why lesbians are for the most part fat, manly and disgusting.

Either way, here’s Rumer Willis pumping gas in what looks like a shirt without a bra because I guess she’s finally come to terms with the inevitable, and that’s to dyke the fuck out.

I am pretty hungover, something I assume Kate Moss can relate to, you know since she’s a substance abuser. I reported that she was pregnant yesterday, I mean if you can call what I do reporting, it’s more along the lines of making shit up that seems to make sense at the time, but I figured, since she’s getting fat the only logical reason would be that she let some stranger cum inside her and now she’s debating whether to keep it or not, but will probably just let nature takes it’s course, you know with her hard drinkin’, the motherfucker will either drown in her womb. Good times. Here are her hard nipples.

I stole this topless pictures form some photography student from LA who had it on her site. Her stepmother is some model and her father is in some band and I guess that gives her access to people like Kate Moss with her shirt off. My life is not so convenient, but that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that I asked her if I could post it, she didn’t answer me, I guess she was too busy doing nothing, it broke my heart, so I figured I’ll just throw it up and that’s all I got to say about that, because Kate Moss topless is a thing of the past, if this girl wants exposure she’s gotta get some video of Chris Brown beating Rihanna, or maybe of some Lohan/ Ronson sex tape…..

So all you fashionistas probably already know that it’s fashion week in London…or maybe that it was fashion week in london…that it is going to be fashion week in London and some weird Goth clothing company had this fashion show, that was topless, see thru and all around weird.

Now I’m the kind of guy who hates fucking vampires and obscure kids in black who hate the world and shoot up schools, but I do like tits, and in not wanting to perpetuate this men in platform shoes and make-up, industrial music bullshit, I tried to not post these pics, but the tits won this fight, again.

Supertan George Hamilton, someone who I am not entirely sure what he does beyond tanning, was seen out with his man purse and the paparazzi thought that was a great story, what they forgot to mention was his braless wife and her floppy fucking tits with her hard nipples, because shit may not be as hot as a jacked up tanning bed in your bedroom, or even as hot as skin cancer, but it’s pretty fucking close to me.

I don’t know if you remember those Lohan comeback pics from New York Magazine last year where she was naked being her idol Marilyn Monroe, but unfortunately lasting another year without following Monroe’s fate, well, I’d show you an reminder but New York Magazine doesn’t like when you post their pictures without paying them, so I deleted that shit long ago. But I just came across these pics from the mag, where Kate Moss gets half naked and sure they won’t get as much buzz as her cokehead counterpart Lohan, cuz this cokehead’s already been naked a million fucking times, but I’m posting them anyway.

I’ve gone down a bit of a weird road the last few posts. I probably shouldn’t have gone down them, but sometimes it’s okay to post shit that I’d normally never post, especially when I am feeling lost and confused. The truth is sometimes you need to switch things up and take that road you were explicitly told not to take by your foster mother because the guy who lives at the end of the street is fucking creepy and a reported sex offender. You know try new things, even though she told you over and over again not to knock on his door to ask for money for the church charity you were running, but if I had listened I would have never made the 25 dollars and got the chance to sit on Santa’s pantless lap in the middle of July and tell him all the things I wanted before having him tell me all the things he wanted to do to me….if you know what I mean.

To get my focus back, here are some nipples from some Paris Week Fashion show, because nipples are awesome.

Sure Paris Hilton having hard nipples isn’t hot, because she’s a cold bitch who is dead to me. But these girls talking about the cause of their hard nipples is porn to me.

That’s all I have to say about this, but I guess you could write your STD jokes in the comments because that’s never been done before….

Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson fag hagging with some dude I assume is gay. Pam Anderson is an icon in the gay world, maybe it’s because she’s Canadian and Canada is Gay Friendly, but I think it’s because she looks like a tranny, but probaby has more to do with the fact that gay dudes are the only group of people who have had more cock than she has and don’t judge her for being a slut, or maybe it’s because she has this ego and has convinced herself that all the straight guys around her are constantly trying to get in her pants and she’s more than just a diseased pussy, flappy ass and set of tits that were once a sex icon, and she is tired of her girlfriends constantly being jealous of her and get all catty when they are out, while gay dudes just don’t give a fuck and take advantage of the opportunity to parade a famous girl around with them to further secure how fabulous they are already convinced that they are….

Either way, here’s them pics.

Pics: Pacific Coast News

Tila Tequila was at the Pussycat Doll event and like all girls wanted to be the center of attention in the room. You know how competitive women are, it’s some primitive animal instinct, where they try to be the bitch the stud decides to fuck, knock up so she can live her life purpose of procreation out, or some shit. So when the event is for a group of sluts, girls have to step the game up, slip into some lingerie, bondage gear, fetish shit, because it is the only way they will get noticed amongst the competition, even though every one in attendance, like Parish Hilton or Bai Ling, are the kind of girls you’d expect to walk in on getting fucked in the back alley, bathroom, dancefloor, VIP room, taxi on the way home, bedroom, and pretty much anywhere there is a hard penis, or phallic shaped object around. You know how the Pussycat dolls are, they like to keep it classy.

Elle Macpherson is the kind of model I like. Sure, she’s big and tall but that body is thin and long legged and she looks tight, despite being old and washed up. Sure I have a warm place in my heart since the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition 1988 VHS tape was the best thing my perverted roommate who left behind because I got to see her tits in it and I’d try not to remember my perverted roommate who once got the police showing up at our place when we lived together because he was watching bondage porn and the neighbor thought someone was getting raped, when the only thing he was raping was himself, usually in the middle of the evening when he’d run off to the bathroom to take a shit and come out an hour later, something I never really understood, because sitting over a festering shit, never got me hard, even if it was the only alone time I got in a day….but that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Elle Macpherson is so hot, she probably looks good taking a shit, which is something I’ve never experienced, mainly because the only time I’ve ever admitted that girls take shits is when I first got married a bunch of years ago and was given the job of helping my wife get off the toilet when she got stuck and if was lucky, I’d get to wipe her messy shit off her ass, all while contemplating suicide until doing a google image search for Elle Macpherson, to remember that not all girls make me sick.

Here is Elle Macpherson is some see-through dress recently.