People are bitching about Obama dancing all the fucking time. He danced with J.Lo, he danced to Beyonce, now he’s dancing with some slut named Thalia, he just dances and fucking dances all the fucking time and the racist rednecks hate it because they think it is a black thing and everyone knows black people like to get down, and they want to see a more serious President, but I think it’s nice to see that he’s just happy to be alive and having a good time and taking advantage of his celebrity, it’s a lot better than some stuffy boring bullshit president and people should just let the man do his fucking thing while shaking his fucking thing, because serious is for old people and it’s nice that he’s just not drafting your kids and sending them off to get fucking killed or having backyard brawls with these chicks…
One of the first times I ever walked into a sex shop, the first porn DVD I saw was Edward Penishands and I thought shit was genius. I was in my mid 20s and wasn’t really that well versed in porn as I spent most of my time in stripclubs or fucking drunk chicks and prostitutes when I was drunk. If I had to jerk off it’d be to music videos, national geographic and late night infomercials.
I only had one porn that was some bootleg incest shit from Georgia in the 70s and another Playboy softcore shit we stole from a music store and an old VHS copy of Debbie Does Dallas.
Since those days, I have fully submerged myself in the porn world, one would even say I exhausted the shit to the point that I am desensitized and not not on top of my game, cuz a month ago this Barrack Stimulus Package shit hit the internet, and I shoulda been the first to post it since I think it is clever, but instead, I am posting it today.
I guess I don’t really have to write too much about this one….I am just jealous Phil Spector’s not endorsing me….you know screaming my name while getting raped in prison….Obama gets all the psycho love. It is just not fair.
I want to go to Turkey. Shit’s fucking crazy. They treat their news like some kind of comedy hour and have one of their reporters rockin’ blackface while reporting on Obama’s trip to their country.
It made me laugh and watch the whole thing and I don’t even speak the fucking language, so I think they are onto something, someone needs to get Anderson Cooper up on this shit to lock in the viewers because until I see him in blackface, I’m gonna be forced to think he’s just some uptight closet case who takes his job too seriously.
In fact, Turkey should be a lesson to us all. We should all leave the house in black face, you know and hit up the local KFC, or the pharmacy, just throw people off and when ppl ask you what you’re doing, bust into slave songs.
Here’s a crazy fucking story, some Ethiopian dude who lives in Chicago has been sending Obama HIV blood because he wants help from the government because he’s very sick with HIV.
Now, I’ve heard of this happening at bank machines a couple years ago, when Aids was still relevant and people were still scared of the shit, back when girls made you use condoms, before accepting that Aids is only for Africans and Gays, and dudes would come up to you and jack you in the leg with a needle filled with blood to welcome you into the family, but it only happened to me once, and the dude didn’t stab me with the needle because I showed him my bank statement and figured he’d save his Aids blood for someone more worthy, because I guess Aids blood is hard to come by.
All kidding aside, Aids is some pretty scary shit, and dude would have been better off just setting Obama up on a blind date with Lohan, it’s a less obvious and illegal way of passing Aids around.
Onto a more interesting story, here’s the original the Original Lollipop Kid from the Wizard of Oz, he’s 89 and still shorter than ever….
It’s nice to see that America really focuses on what’s important, you know Jessica Simpson’s weight gain. I could think of 1000 more relevant issues to talk to the President about, but leave it up to your fucked up priorities to get down to business about why the bitch has gained 20 pounds, despite everyone knowing that it is because of laziness, relationship and a bad diet.
On a side note, I was emailed this story where Kim Kardashian takes on Jessica Simpson. No they Aren’t Fighting Over Who Gets the last piece of cake, if anything another fat celebrity she has come to defend Jessica Simpson’s Fat Ass.
I felt the need to share….
Kardashian is really getting furious and “offended” over the media’s coverage of Jessica Simpson’s photos.
She took time out from Super Bowl festivities to post on her blog:
“I was doing Super Bowl interviews for my Leather & Laces party I’m hosting down here in Tampa, Florida, and EVERYONE seems to be asking me about Jessica Simpson’s alleged weight gain.
I think it’s absolutely ridiculous!!! She is not fat at all and I am actually offended that people are giving her such a hard time over this!
LEAVE HER ALONE!!! First of all, her outfit was FABULOUS! I loved that Fendi leopard belt with those high waisted jeans.
She is so drop dead gorgeous and the fact that the media is sending this message out to young girls is mind blowing!
?I am probably twice Jessica’s size, so what do you guys think of me then???”
So it’s official, Kim Kardashian doesn’t read this site, because if she did, she’d know that I think she’s fat.
The good news is that they both came out for the superbowl, not because their boyfriends are star football players, but because they thought superbowl meant some kind of new invention that was way bigger than any other bowl they’ve ever seen. You know, one they can pile all kinds of food inside and emotionally eat that is reminiscent of the trough these pigs should be eating out of.
So David Foster, Superstar songwriter, wrote a piece of fucking crap song for Obama that was performed by America’s very own Seal and Bono, along with actual Americans like Will.I.Am and some whores. It is the biggest piece of shit I have ever heard and if this shit inspires you or brings a tear to your eye, you are an emotional disaster and need to be taken out back and shot, or at least committed because you are unstable and too fucking sensitive to handle everyday life so you emotionally eat yourself to death and cry every chance you get and it’s embarrassing….I am talking to you Oprah.
Here’s a girl fight that was sent into me and I figured I had to post it because the dude filming it is fucking hysterical. He says something like “Oh She’s got her pussy on her face” and I laughed. I don’t think they are actually Obama’s sisters, but black guys refer to each other as brothers, so I figured they call each other sisters too, but I am not that engrained in the black community so I don’t really know. All I know is that these girls go at each other pretty hard, making the American ghetto the real African Safari, fuck watching zebras and lions eat their young and shit, get this up on the nature channel, because poverty and addiction bring out human’s animal instincts and I know that I like seeing a couple poor crackheads go at it……..On a side note, I love when the dude filming says “I’m going to make some money off these motherfuckers…”, he is amazing, someone needs to get him a TV show…..
Your soon to be President has decided to use the Internet to keep in contact with his people, he plans on doing one of these addresses a week and I think that’s a good sign because everyone uses the internet, and will be up to date on what’s going on, instead of in the dark like they have been the last 200 years. It’s his way of getting America involved and informed and I think it is some pretty clever thinking, but if he really wants this video to work, and get the top rated Youtube views, l he’s gotta do is throw in a couple tits, maybe some girl having a stripper pole accident, or a gay guy screaming to leave Britney alone and a clever comedy song because this political shit is pretty dry fucking content, but I thought it was a sign that the internet’s actually a serious thing and not just a place to hustle chicks and jerk off to every type of porn imaginable….and Obama turning to the Internet means it’s ok to sit in front of your computer and waste away and I guess that’s the kind of validation I need.
On a side note, when I pushed play on this shit, my wife’s dog went fucking nuts, he started growling and barking and was really not feeling it, and he’s black and only barks at videos with other animals in it, so I don’t know what that says about Obama, but I do know that he’s not the only republican dog at there and here’s America’s favorite lipstick-wearing republican pit bull in Florida drinking and slackin’ off, in a pair of short shorts and I figured you’d like that, since you want to fuck her and you think you have a chance because she seems like she’s just that fuckin’ dumb….
I don’t watch sports ever, but figured since your president is half black, it’d only be appropriate to show you because Steve Nash the white dude, comes in to take his aggression out on his fellow black players because he can’t deal with the US voting Obama or some shit and this is way to get involved. The only flaw in my theory is that this white boy can’t jump is Canadian, but until otherwise proved, I am calling this a race war that stems from the White House.
I went to meet this girl, who was supposed to model naked for the site for free, but didn’t end up getting there in time. I did however get to take the bus in the rain and it was fucking amazing. Made me really happy that I didn’t have a car, you know being smothered with all those nice wet people who smell just as bad as I do, really makes us closer as a species. I mean all you fuckers with your cars, staying disconnected and living in your own bubble, not having to interact with old balding ladies who ask you for your seat because they are old, pulling out a piece of a chocolate bar her crazy ass must have been saving the last 20 years for a rainy fucking day, that was today, because when she unwrapped her mangled tinfoil wrapping and pulled out a stale piece of chocolate and started chewing on it with her toothless face, moaning with delight. I wanted to fucking throw up. Bitch could have waited til she got back to whatever institution she was livin’ in to do that shit, but instead wanted to share her weird habits with the world. The good news is, there were school girls pretty much everywhere to balance out the fat man my dick was pressed into, making the whole thing a waste of fuckin’ time, but better than it coulda been.
I don’t know why I am posting this video, I just think today’s a fucking horrible day and I’m doing my part to keep it that way….
Bonus….Some racist vandalized 40 cars to get his racist message across, I am not going to jump to conclusions or anything, but they may want to check Steve Nash’s house for some evidence…
You know that in this Obama Bitch’s head she’s got some kind of delusion about her place in the world. You know she goes to parties and tells people that she’s actually had something to do with Obama winning the election because she got half naked in a Youtube video that was timed properly and millions of people saw her Kim Kardashian face in action.
So in reality, Obama made this bitch relevant to have pictures of her in some slutty outfit next to his cardboard cutout do the internet rounds, which wouldn’t be the first time a black man makes a girl dance and now this one trick pony has a fun future ahead of her, at least for the next 8 years, singing her Obama song to anyone willing to listen, because the truth is that she had no impact on the election, but the election will have a huge impact on her and be her biggest curse when she can’t live her useless role in it down….
My biggest curse, working on a computer I dropped, that was a piece of shit in the first place and trying to distract myself long enough to not walk away and drink, which I think I’ve lost to the battle to my urge because I am leaving now to go drink…..I’ll be back though, unless I die, which is always possible.
I was just sent this video where the reporter at some Obama thing mentions the smell of weed in the air. I mean it’s not that surprising considering he gives black people and hippies boners and they love drinkin’ his Kool Aid, and I thought it was funny that his appearance is that of a rockstar at a concert than a government official, because up until this year, politics were fuckin’ boring. I guess I should look for more tits, but I just got home from lunch and decided to check my email instead of post garbage you’ve seen on other sites, stop your whining.
This is the best thing that has happened to your country and probably the rest of the world, this is a total revolution and I am pretty happy it worked out this way, because I was convinced the republicans would have put a stop on this shit but it just got out of hand and people started believing him. He is definitely the right person to run your country, or at least a hell of a lot better than McCain/Palin, he is someone who definitely has a vision, and black or not, he’s the commander in chief.
Don’t get me wrong, McCain has achieved a lot and won’t die a failure in the next couple years, he’s done more than most people and that’s something worth a pat on the back and a viagra in his belly, to really celebrate the loss, if anything he can find himself a nice retirement community to settle down in, now that the chaos is behind him. I always hate seeing losers, especially when they were as passionate about him, it’s sad and he should never have chosen Palin as his running mate and that is what really ruined him. I guess the real remarkable thing about all this is that he didn’t die during his speech from a broken heart…….
The racist supporters are probably pretty fuckin’ mad. There will be some local cross burnings tonight, no doubt about it, but be proud to be American despite whatever riots and deaths that may come from this…
I am happy all this is over, so you guys can shut the fuck up and I can go back to hating on sluts.
The people have spoken, let the riots begin, and let’s hope he’s not Lee Harvey Oswalded because that would be a fuckin’ tragedy.
Sure I am not American, I am not educated on the subject, but I know what my instinct tells me and from day one, there really was no competition.
Congratulations to all you fuckers, this won’t change our relationship of you hating me and me hating you, but let’s hope it changes all your lives.
Brobama won, despite being half brother and this is definitely the best thing to happen to more than just the hip hop movement, the black people and despite being scared for you guys for the last couple of weeks….a lot of people are going to be inspired by this and a lot of people will be mad…we’ll see what happens….
This CNN coverage was boring, my friend who’s TV I am borrowing is annoying, the Hologram I expect Obama to use for all public appearances, scared the fuck out of me, and I am drunk….
It’s not a matter of Yes you can anymore, it’s a little yes you did, and that’s more than I can say about what’s going on in your bedroom. Peace out. I am going to go drink more because this post was fucking crazy…let’s just hope Obama makes it out of his speech alive…
He wasn’t assassinated, and if anyone watched that speech and wasn’t moved, or excited of what’s to come, and I’m not talking about fried chicken stands on every corner or gold chains and girls who make their booties talk in ever government office, or the whole country being turned into a crack hustlin’ ghetto, I’m talking about a whole new leadership and direction, you’re fuckin’ idiots, but you probably already know that. Yes, you did, you fuckin’ communists with hologram technology, that shit could revolutionize porn and cybersex….
Ok, enough of this, now you can go back to chronic masturbation, this election shit was boring and draining…..and a little too passionate on all fronts….ok…time to stop…i just can’t seem to end this post…
Mark Wahlberg says he supports Obama in this video despite being some crazy jesus loving Christian who would normally rock the republican vote. I guess according to the rednecks and majority of McCain Supporters, that makes him a socialist / communist and unfortunately whole McCarthy era is over, and I am not talking about Jenny McCarthy’s unfortunate fame, but the McCarthy that created Hollywood blacklist, banning people from working because they were socialists or supported Cuba, isn’t around anymore, because I’d totally be down with sending this motherfucker to some deserted island somewhere but that’s just because I hate him and has nothing to do with his politics….because supporting Obama doesn’t really make you a socialist, but I would be willing to sway on that opinion if it meant banishment of those I hate, unfortunately Heidi Montag, the person I hate the most is a McCain supporter, so I guess we’d have to find a new blacklist for her, maybe one called useless horse-headed cunt that doesn’t deserve fame or attention because she’s a lying piece of shit list…..but I guess that’s got nothing to do with this post….actually, in hindsight, I have no idea why I just posted this, who cares who Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch are voting for, I guess I’m just milking this whole election thing out of laziness and the video I just saw of the Naked Cowboy supporting McCain isn’t available on Youtube yet, and that’s a hell of a lot more post-worthy than this shit. Cuddles.
