Lauren Conrad is the lazy kind of rich girl who sits around in a pair of pajama pants laying in front of the couch all day, ordering her servants to serve on her, until realizing that she really needs a coffee or to run an errand like getting a pussy wax or something her servant can’t do for her and she doesn’t bother putting on a normal pair of pants because everyday is fucking summer camp for her and the world is her fuckin’ bedroom, we’re just all visitors in it.

Nothing turns me off more than a girl in a pair of pajama pants like this, other than men in a pair of pajama pants like this. The reason I hate them is because I know the bitch is not going to fuck me or is on her period or some shit every time she crawls into bed rockin’ a pair of these. It means no pussy for me because even if i want to feel romantic and try to put her in the mood by shoving my boner between her ass cheeks and start try humpin’ her as she sleeps, I feel like I’m trying to get it on with an 8 year old, because they are the only fuckers who have any business wearing this kind of thing to bed, and even they have the decency to get fuckin’ dressed before leaving their house….

I guess in an ideal world any girl who sleeps in the same bed as me will be nude or in something that leaves her vagina exposed because that way I have easy access to finger bang or squeeze my dick in them while they sleep, it’s pretty much the only sex I could ever get without drugs or money….unfortunately, it’s not an ideal world and my wife is a fucking beast who fortunately smells too bad to sleep with naked, so I try to wrap her clothed body up in one of those plastic sheets you have to prevent pissing through the mattress because she’s the last bitch I’d want to midnight molest.