Pam Anderson is squatting like this is because she is fighting with her vagina. The fucking thing is trying to get closer to the dirt where it belongs, trying to bury itself, because it’s done. It’s lived a long and full life that has seen many interesting things and wants to make room for new vagina, and Pam Anderson just isn’t ready to see it go.

Or maybe she’s just squatting like a China Man on a hot China day because she doesn’t have a chair. Maybe
the hepatitis really wears you down, so bad that you can’t stand for more than a couple of minutes without feeling faint, but I like to think it’s vagina suicide. It makes my boring life more interesting.

Pam Anderson is wearing all white like the virgin she wishes she was, because if she was a virgin she wouldn’t be dying of hepatitis. Despite lookin like a ravaged ex porn star with a major drug addiction, no money and skin that has enough cum embedded in the hard to reach ance scars and wrinkles that sneezing on a chick can get her pregnant, she still has a pretty hot body, if you’re into skinny girls with big fat tits, which pretty much everyone is, even if shit is on someone who looks old enough to be your grandmother, which is all part of the reason I liked working my orderly job at the old folks home, those bitches were so frail and horny that if you put the catheter in proper they’d gasp in pleasure, something that gave me lots of masturbation content, kinda like Pam Anderson has done for you, pretty much making her a modern day hero in your life, so enjoy.

So Pam Anderson is a aging inspiration to sluts rockin’ the pole everywhere. It is hope that their Playboy tattoos will end up paying themselves off many times over by leading to a centerfold that leads to a shitty acting career that makes them enough money to be luxurious sluts on an international level instead of their local town and trailer park they are from. She is also an inspiration as a pioneer to people like Paris Hilton and every girl with a digital camera that they too can find success with homemade porn.

I was sitting at an intersection today, not in the intersection the way you’d want me to be sitting in hopes that the pain from this site ends, and this car pulls up with a decal that read “Life Coaching” next to a scenic mountainscape or someshit. I looked the car over and shit was a beat up Hyundai from the early 90s, the dude driving the car was bald, in glasses, about 60 years old, in a cheap fucking suit and about 250 pounds and I thought that that’s the kind of guy that could really help me achieve the life I want because he’s fuckin’ livin’ it.

I guess in a lot of ways, I’m just a bleached blonde, fake tittied slut, and he is my Pamela Anderson but I forgot to write down the number so I guess I’ll just have to coach myself through this life. Oh well.

Here is some shoot of Pam Anderson for Radar Magazine because Radar clearly has a limited budget and she’s the only bitch willing to do things for free because she wants people to keep caring about her.

Now that she’s menopausal, I don’t really get why people still find her relevant, maybe they are just nostalgic masturbaters and remember the night they spent with Pam Anderson’s Playboy in their treehouse 15 years ago or lying in bed with a teenage erection on a Saturday night only to find a new episode of Baywatch on to help make them feel guilt and shame all over their bellies or maybe people are just amazed at how she’s climbed her way out of being a trashy poor Canadian to become a trashy and rich Hollywood slut with retarded fake tits that are also pretty amazing because they haven’t exploded.

But I am just amazied by how she’s had so much sperm shot up in her that she’s an honorary dude. It’s like she’s got a fat set of balls producing the shit of her own, only instead it’s all donations that dry up on the lining of her uterine wall. Good thing she’s barren from the abortions, std’s and age, because she’ll know in advance that her next pregnancy scare will just be a big 8 pound ball of cum that her body is spitting up like a cat spits up a hairball.

You know those who get Aids together stay together because having to tell your new partner about your ailment is more embarrassing than the time I shat the bed at a girl’s house like I was in Trainspotting only without the heroin and without the parents in the morning. It was just one of those, I have to fart situation that ended really fucking messy, but only because she was giving me a blowjob at the time. I feel like that is the one time in my life, she would have rather heard that she was suckin on a Aids dick, instead of being smeared with feces, but other than that rare circumstance, it’s a pretty obvious killjoy.

Either way, Pam and Tommy are out on a coffee date, they both looked haggard as fuck and aging hasn’t worked out so amazing for them, I guess they could be out talking about the kids, but what I do know is that Pam Anderson makes a serious point about having sex after every date and that’s why no matter what they are doing together, they are ending the day with a fuck and that’s because Pam Anderson is a whore….a busted up whore…but still a whore.

Pam Anderson hosted a bikini contest at the Montreal Club I never go to but do know that on Sunday or Monday night all the fuckin’ cokehead strippers rock out there, but I can’t ever manage to get there because I know that I will be rejected at the door. The one time that I was allowed into the club was a while ago when my stepdaughter was hired to be some kind of Gogo dancer in a bra and a pair of bootyshorts and even then the bouncer made me check my shirt because he told me that they didn’t allow lumberjack shirts into the club.

Either way, she got paid 100,000 dollars which was prety shocking to me cosidering they are about 10 years too late on her appeal to the perverts since she’s old, washed up and diseased, but I am guessing all the local sluts everywhere who are riding off the Pam Anderson dream and who think of her as some kind of mesiah in the business of sluts will always look up to her as some kind of den mother.

I guess the good news is that she showed off her nipples, because she figures that she’s got no choice but to show some skin at that price, it’s like the time I gave a reformed hooker 40 dollars and she felt obligated to suck me off because it is all she knew. I like to think that she’s just showing them off because she’s amazed as all of us that after all the surgery she still has nipples and likes the world to see them like some kind of trophy.

Here are some of the Contestents in the BIkini Contest Thanks to Facebook:

These pictures of Pamela Anderson’s Panties remind me of a time I went to the mall with my friend and his pregnant girlfriend. The girl ended up having a miscarriage in the public bathroom because I am guessing she wasn’t too happy seeing all the clothes at Old Navy that she wanted and knew she wouldn’t be able to fit in a couple months down the line and her body decided to do something about it, like reject the baby cuz nothing was going to stop her from sliding into those size 30 jeans. Kinda like when I take a big shit before I go out in hopes of being able to put on my dress pants, because people respect me more in those than they do in my sweats.

Either way, my frend, the baby daddy had been trying to convince her to get an abortion the entire pregnancy, and finally told her that he’d be supportive of her decision and would always be there for her and the baby and would not be a deadbeat like he was with his other kids, was playing all considerate and hugging her and holding her in his arms before he ran to the nearest store to by her replacement pants for the ones she just ruined. But dude wasn’t a good actor and his excitement and happiness gleamed from his eyes, and his bullshit act couldn’t fool me, but then again he was giving me high fives and begging me to go to the bar to celebrate as soon as he got his girl home.

Pam Anderson’s panty upskirt reminds me of that day, but that’s just because I assume she’s a slut who’s uterus has seen it’s fair share of fetus, whether aborted or miscarried and here are a pair of her underwear that keep all her used up lady parts in place as to not make a mess on the floor below her.

I always wondered what that shit stain on Pam Anderson’s arm was. It looked like a hand print from rough sex with a rockstar and just figured it never heeled because bitch has hepatitis and her immune system is too busy trying to keep her liver alive to heal battle wounds from being a slut, but it turns out that she was attacked by leeches when she was a kid.

I still think that line is a fuckin’ lie and the only reason she brought it up and made an excuse about it is because she is defensive and knows we all know she got it from sex but for some reason doesn’t want us knowing that she’s some kind of pornstar than doesn’t do porn professionally, because she’s a mother and needs to maintain some kind of wholesome image, proven by the tame outfit she’s wearing, her retarded fake tits, bleached hair and her gaping vagina.

I can relate to her trying to cover shit up. I remember when child services, the police and my wife’s doctor confronted me about the bruises all over her body and I stuck to my story she fell down the stairs. I know it wasn’t all that creative and that every wifebeater uses that line, but figured that they’d buy it because any real wifebeater would come up with something more believable. I made sure my wife backed up my story otherwise I’d never let her live it down and it worked so we lived happily ever after, except for the happy part.

Watch the video and try not to focus on her plastic face falling off because that’s what her tits are for.

Pam Anderson works for some magician in Vegas when she’s not too busy having sex, neglecting her kids, doing tons of cocaine, getting marriage annulments and whatever the fuck else a washed up whore who is only famous for her tits does with her time when her face can’t stay as young and fresh as the rest of her.

I guess the magic trick they are working on is the disappearing panty, or maybe the trick is the fact that her haggard vagina can still fit inside a pair of underwear, but barely because you can see some lip and not the ones injected with collagen, I’m talkin the ones injected with hepatitis cock. Enjoy.

So today is Pamela Anderson’s big Valentine’s Day striptease performance at some legendary Parisian club and she is rumored to be going fully nude. Now one would think that this bitch is too old and washed up to be getting naked for anyone other than her Gyno and the random wanderers who have no where better to go, but it turns out that her tits are only about 15 years old and that’s not really counting the upgrades she’s had done to them. So in reality, watching her tits is on some next level pedophilia and that makes me uncomfortable. The good news is that the rest of her is falling apart and I wouldn’t be surprised if her Uterus flew out of her and landed in some french man’s soup. The good news is that french people love soup so that won’t ruin it for him. Like the time I dropped a slice of pizza I bought with my last dollar a few years ago that some asshole spat on because I slapped his girls ass in line waiting…no wait I used that dollar to try to trick a wasted hooker into giving me a blowjob by telling her it was a 100 and I found the pizza on the ground after the asshole beat up the guy in front of me thinking he grabbed his girlfriend’s ass…when it was really me. I guess I have no problem with people I don’t know taking the heat for me…but I do know that hooker I confused tasted a hell of a lot worse than my dirty pizza and I assume Pam Anderson is just somewhere in between.

Either way, good luck with your dance Pam, it may be your last chance to shine and when you’re done will your old lady hepatitis vagina and big ol’ trashy tits be my Valentine?