I don’t understand this hosting party bullshit that’s blowing up internationally. It’s like these club promoters pay insane prices for celebrities to spend about an hour in their club in some roped off booth, where the celebrities barely drink and fuck right off as soon as their obligations are met. They don’t actually party at the club, they don’t sign autographs, they just walk in and out. I heard that when Rihanna and Chris Brown were here, the were paid about 50,000 dollars for a fuking hour or two and the club was so excited with how successful the event was. They thought it put them on the fuckin’ map or some shit and all the people who were there actually felt like they parited with a famous person, leading me to believe the world is retarded.

The truth is that I am just jealous, because it would be a dream job for me to to be brought into host an event and annoy the patrons in places I normally can’t get into. It’s kinda what I do with myself anyway only I don’t get paid for the shit and usually end up kicked out. I would not only would I happily finish the free booze I was offered, but I’d also host the event for the free booze and no fee making me very affordable. I’d try to fuck all the groupies lookin in on mye but the main problem with this plan is that no one gives a fuck about me and even if they did, the places I’d get asked to host would be places you’d get raped or murdered at.

I guess it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Rihanna and Chris Brown are fucking and she looks good enough to me in her silver dress.

Here are some pics of Lindsay Lohan partying at LAX a few days ago because she’s an alcoholic and a whore. She’s also last week’s kitchen garbage but that’s not the point, the point is that she’s the fucking star of the show, and by show I mean this website proven by Lohan Stalker Posts. She may not be that hot or interesting especially in these pics but as the star she deserves love in good times and bad…

Speaking of stars, the star of homeless man dance just started talking to me, because some 85 year old Jesus (the real jesus) lover started telling him that the lord is with him…after the 85 year old left, Homeless Man Dance, started chatting me up like I was someone he knew. He made no fucking sense, he said his IQ is 290 and after I decided to escape he said “peace to me”. While he was talking to me, I tried writing the insanity he said down, this is pretty much verbatim. So here it is…

I became a greaser, I know you’re a greaser because you like a red hubcap… I changed it to a greaser after a guy in the school yard….I am more of a custard guy, not a pudding guy.

I go to what it was, so what would it be, I got my violin, I got to when you were young looking…. i go that’s what happens…I stall, I go to unwind. I pass by, I go to the washroom, I go to Danny, I go to Gloria and Carol, and make sure they don’t move towards me….. I got to the thing that is telling me what it is. I go to karma, my arms are raised. I go to, it doesn’t feel like you’re acting when it came to me. I go to the two of them took me off them, I go to something of you and something of me, i go to my father. I go to the bookstore, I am a gunsmith and you’re an engraver. There’s nothing there, it’s me.

I go to the day I became a greaser, I go to Linda, I am thinking of my father and you phoned him and you could only see me….Then we go to what I did with deep sea fishing. I ensure there is something about us. Then I go to her….I changed it to a pink one. I go over to the superman thing, I go to whether I actually saw a steel ball.

Britney Spears is my girlfriend, and Gwen Stefani is your girlfriend. There I am going to say it for the first time Brook’s lost control. I am going to say it, Britney Spears is my girlfriend.

I am going to say it is my 38th year on the street and 58th year of life. They were all murdered from me. I’ll throw the trouble with money….

It’s a cowboy song, the indian song is better. It falls out his hand, he’s nervous…Here’s the speed story….something about the fishnet stockings….

The Bugs Crawled in the Bugs Crawled Out….All over his greasy snout.

This may not come across as funny as it was but at least it can act as a reminder of how lame DJ AM is even though he’s banging celebs and you aren’t….