Cameltoes are pretty much a given when you’re a mom and that’s just because you lose all control of your vagina and shit’s just loosely hanging making it next to impossible to keep your pants from making their way up in the crack. It’s like the thing’s got a mind of it’s own as each lip falls on either side of the pant seam and the only corrective measure one can take is duct tape.

Here’s Patricia Heaton’s vagina barely eating her pants, but it’s a taste of what’s to come because let’s face it, shit’s just not as tight enough to fight off tight pants anymore.

The good news of the day is that Patricia Heaton decided to put on a shirt at the beach like a fat teenage girl on summer vacation. After seeing her over-tucked tummy tuck that amputated her belly button, I think it was a good beach fashion choice, not that I know anything about fashion. She also decided to put on a pair of better fitting bikini bottoms that offer a little more support to her saggy vagina and I am all for girls strapping up when shit is clearly needed.

Kinda like the time this girl was acting up in my apartment, so I strapped her to my bed….it made having sex with her a hell of a lot easier because it took very little convincing and the sock I stuffed down her throat made her cries for me to stop sound a lot more like whimpers of pleasure, like she was actually enjoying it. I figure if I don’t hear “No” or “Stop” clearly, then it’s all fair game….or maybe like the time my wife put on some kind of corset and pantyhose to make her look skinny, when what she really needed to look skinny was a year membership at the gym and a serious diet.

Either way, here’s Patricia Heaton in action….

Here are some recent pictures of old lady Patrica Heaton in a bikini, something I could have died without never seeing, but that’s just because you all know how I feel about a bitch in a bikini who has no business being in a bikini, even if you’ve jerked off to her a few time when the only show on late night TV was an Everybody Loves Raymond re-run, because we all know that was just an act of desperation.

I know you are used to just staring at a girls vagina when you see her in a bikini, so if you just take your eyes off whatever the fuck she’s hiding in her bikini bottoms that make her pussy-sag, you’ll see that bitch doesn’t have a fucking belly button. I have no idea what the hell that means, maybe she’s a robot or maybe it’s some tummy tuck bi-product but whatever the fuck it is, it scares me. I guess the unfortunate thing for her is that they couldn’t have had the same disappearing effect on the rest of her sloppy body….I guess those advancements in medicine haven’t been made yet….but I am sure these superficial celebrities are pumping all kinds of money into it, why bother finding the cure to cancer and aids when you could invest in finding a way to make your ass look good enough to fuck….