Her name is Paz Vega, she’s a Spanish Actress that I’ve never heard of because I have a hard enough time keeping track of my stepdaughter’s boyfriend’s names that trying to place these bitches I’ve never heard of is almost impossible. It’s like I have Alzheimer’s just alcoholic induced Alzheimer’s but the truth is that part of me hopes I get Alzheimer’s because it looks fun.

I was at the coffee shop and overheard some girl talking about how her mother got Alzheimer’s, and was talking about all the fucked up shit she does, like how when she watches Regis and Kelly she goes off about how much of a bitch Kelly is and when asked about how she knows Kelly, she goes into an elaborate story about how they used to date the same guy, even though that never happened and I chimed in to tell them how fucking amazing it sounded. It’s like when you have the disease you can get away with pretty much anything you want and you believe all these things that never happened like not wearing pants one day, or drinking Draino. Shit’s like being jacked on drugs always and sounds like a pretty good way to go because you don’t know that your going and you make people like me laugh along the fucking way.

Either way, here she is that Spanish chick in her bathing suit.

Nothing makes me feel more like a lame virgin than posting pictures of girls in see through dresses. The reality of it is that that I don’t give a fuck about these bitches, or their nipples but I do it for you. At times I totally wish I was still a virgin, but those times only come out every couple months when I have a herpes outbreak or when my fat wife convinces me to take a viagra to try to pleasure her, even though my useless dick doesn’t even touch the walls of her really ridiculously big vagina.

This weekend was one of those sex weekends my wife makes me have every once in a while. It’s kind of how I earn my keep around here. I can usually get away with not fuckin’ her for months before her fat disgusting naked body slips viagra in my drink and have no choice. I guess we all have needs and my need is a roof over my head and her needs are oreos and the occasional fuck.

Either way, I saw shit coming the last 2 weeks and was putting it off until this weekend because there’s only so many headaches I can pretend to have. Now the key to fucking my wife is getting as drunk as possible so that i don’t know what I am doing, then take the pill get a boner about 10% of the time because even when drunk and on boner meds she’s still fucking disgusting and makes my dick crawl back inside me like a reverse erection. So I did her and rode her like a Bouncy Castle I haven’t recovered emotionally yet.

So here’s some nipple of some slut you don’t know and be happy that you are a virgin, because sometimes sex is the devil and I saw the devil face to face this weekend. Cuddles.

I don’t know who Paz Vega is, but that’s not too surprising, because I don’t even know who I am anymore. I am just talking shit, I’m the best website on the internet nobody reads, and this bitch is the best Spanish slut with long legs no one cares about.

She did some Elle Magazine photoshoot with Swarovski crystals glued to her, because this is some expensive and luxurious version of body painting, it doesn’t really get as exciting as a college spring break party body painting, but that’s mainly because no one’s gettin’ herpes, and herpes are really the future,

Herpes are the future because all these man-hating lesbian feminists who write Women with a “y”, are on some independent “womyn” kick that leads them to being sluts, but empowered sluts, who don’t want to be called sluts, even they have multiple sexual partners and are sluts. All because when men do it they are considered “studs” and it’s seen as a positive and that’s unfair to a feminist, so the more partners they rack up, the more they think that they are proving a point, because being a feminist is this stamp of approval that they can be loose in the hips. When the reality is that their genitals are the only casualty of this war, but I guess herpes is a small price to pay in doing their part to win this feminist fight on penis. Send nudes, it’ll make you feel better.