I didn’t know that the Kardashians had a younger version, but then again I don’t watch the show and have pretty much no interest in this family, but thought it was funny that Kim Kardashian wasn’t teaching her sister about shoving things in her vagina or bleeding from her uterus because you’d think it was something she was good at, but instead she just sat there under her blanket like the diva cunt that she is. So if puberty is your fetish, this videos for you. I am just waking up and late as per usual, something Kim Kardashian is also probably used to and probably another reason why she doesn’t want to teach her sister about her body.

Bonus: Here are the Kardashian Sisters on Chelsea Lately Because I’ve Seen Her Show and She’s Kinda Funny even though I am too sad to laugh and expect to be on her show one day because she’s pretty low budget.

Part 2:

These are some pictures that hit last week and I wanted to post them but never really got to them because I am lazy even though they are funny. I was going to go off about how period’s aren’t natural again, because it seemed to be a hit with the feminist lesibians, but I decided to tell you a little story about this retarded dude I once knew and his dog who loved periods more than the average guy, even though the average guy secretly fucking loves periods because it means we didn’t knock our bitch up this month and it’s a time for celebration, a celebration that only lasts about a minute until we realize that our bitches are going to be pains in the ass, not put out and expect us to be sensitive to their needs for the next 5 days.

That said, this retarded dude I knew had this dog and he would take his dog on walks and this dog would sniff more pussy than a lesbian pornstar and every single time the dog would work it’s way into a stranger’s cunt, the retard would point and laugh and scream “you’re on your period” then laugh hysterically. The girls he would usually embarrass doing this too would usually just blush and walk away as fast as she could to get away from the creepy retard, but one time he did it to a teenager who was with her father and apparently father’s don’t like retards talking about their teenage daughter’s periods and the retard got institutionalized and his period-sniffing dog was sent into the police force as is doing really well sniffing out drugs at the airport. I lied about the last part. It happens.

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You can't hate on Britney for having her period because according to science most women get their periods until they get old and dry up. What you can do is think it's kinda gross because periods are pretty fucking unnatural and disgusting even if science tries to trick us into thinking they are normal. Seeing a grown woman with rape-scene stained underwear just makes me think she doesn't keep her junk as clean as she should and although slip ups may happen to the best of us, the amount of blood on this shit is more a question of hygiene because this kinda shit is only acceptable when the bitch is 10 years old and sitting in the back of the class in a pair of white pants.

I guess this is all part of the fall from the top, because when you're crazy, it's normal to forget to shove a tampon in or to think flashing your bloody panties will prove some kind of point and this is one step closer to her smearing feces all over hers naked body then lighting her hair on fire and running into traffic, which is what I'm lookin forward for but that's just because I love poo.

A day isn’t a day without a little Hayden, not that there’s such thing as a little Hayden, more of a Short Hayden or a Boxy Hayden or Circus Performing Hayden or a Dancing Monkey Hayden or Big Hayden Arms and Big Hayden Back and Big Hayden Legs, or a Construction Working Hayden or a Wrestling Hayden or a Mini-Fridge all the College Kids Have Hayden…..but not a little Hayden.

Here are some pictures of Hayden in a mini-skirt for normal people, full length for her, while on her period, because whenever a girl wears red, it’s just strategic dressing for her period not to spill all over the place because no one likes the embarrassment of period stains….

Either way, some bitch emailed me about Jennifer Love Hewitt being fat and I decided to share it with you :

Are you guys retarded? Under what distorted definition do you define the word fat? If you’re thinking BMI, she’s probably underweight. I’d like to see your asses out on the beach with your ‘perfect stomachs.’ The two of you are not fit to shine her shoes.

So This is what I wrote back:

There’s only one of me and her ass is fat, but clearly not as fat as yours, otherwise you wouldn’t get all menstrual on me…

I’m glad you’d like to see me on the beach because I’d like to see you inserting things in your fat ass, maybe a hot dog or a cheeseburger or a slice of pizza, but that’s just because I’m poetic like that and want to see the food that made your ass going back into your ass…you hot little slut.

This is where I’d normally write touch your toes, but since I know you can’t reach, I’ll just say Touch Your Knees baby….touch your knees….

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com