I love how everyone calls me out for being a sick fuck for predicting that this bitch will grow up to be a slut. They think it’s so fucking twisted to think of a 15 year old being sexually active. I always tell them that it’s Oprah’s fault for getting the idea into my head when she had an episode on these 14 year old high school sex parties. In fact, Oprah is like my god and if that bitch can talk about 14 year olds licking assholes, I think I can too. It’s like she set the bar for me or some shit.

The point is that Miley Cyrus plays this whole girl of God innocent shit, that I know is a total lie and that whenever this bitch is at home alone with a guy watching teenage comedies, she’s the one who grabs his dick over his pants and begs for him to fuck her without a condom because she hasn’t got her period yet and can’t get pregnant…or she’s this wholesome Christian girl who bends the rules by putting cocks in her mouth and ass, keeping her vagina off limits but still finding ways to get off, like a recovering heroin addict who loves shooting up, so he’s taken to shooting coke instead of heroin because he doesn’t consider it really doing drugs because Heroin is that much more fun and cocaine is designer shit for rich girls. It’s like how you don’t think it’s gay to let your best friend give you a blowjob because he’s your buddy, you’re not putting a penis in your mouth and girls don’t really give you the time of day and you’re tired of jerking off.

The truth is when I see pictures like this, I know that I am right in thinking she’s a slut with too much money on her hand and that age doesn’t play any factor in that and I just realize that I was born in the wrong era, because when I was 15, girls weren’t even masturbating yet, they didn’t know what the fuck sex was and the occasional one who did was considered a slut and rightfully, because that bitch gave me Chlamydia.

Either way, here are the Hannah Montana, innocent teenage girl pictures, because according to the hate mail I get, she’s just a little girl with no sex drive, but according to the pictures, bitch looks like she’s ready for sex, loves male attention and she’s letting us know that in a few years, we’ll be seeing a lot more of her and that she’s yet another reason we should love Disney and their creepy producers for breeding these whores like a pimp at the bus station lookin’ for teenage runaways to work under him.