I am tired of posting recent shit becaue the world has gone to shit and I am more interested in a simplier time, so this is Carmen Electra in some unknown photoshoot from a long time ago, spreading her legs and showing us her tits, both things that we’ve seen before and are happy to see again.

I guess you could say that she is nothing but a one-trick pony, except she will never turn tricks for you or ride you like a pony, you sick beastiality fuck, despite what your imagination that you believe is reality because you are insane and don’t get away from the computer might tell you.

On a happier note, the sheet she has between her legs gets a lot more pussy than you, but not a lot more pussy than the soiled piece of fabric I use as a sheet, but that’s got nothing to do with my skills in seducing ladies and more to do with my wife’s skill of having the biggest, stickiest vagina out of any girl I’ve met and manages to get that sheet up between the crevaces of her lips on the daily.

Eithery way, I heard this sheet for is available on e-bay and that may be the closest you ever get to her vagina, or any vagina at all so you should considering busting open that piggy bank and spending your vacation fund on it, but it may not be worth it considering how Comicon has always been a dream of yours.

Speaking of vaginas, i have a box of rubber ones sitting in my fridge that i found in some alley behind a sex shop that went bankrupt. I don’t really know what I was doing there or if the whole thing was a mirage (because the only water i drink is out of puddles) and but there is a box rubber vaginas sitting in my fridge because I like to keep the fresh and since i already adopted one because my wife’s is dead and I like to practice eating out pussy, the others are looking for love and homes too, so I am planning on giving them away with no guarantee that they have never been used and that they won’t give you aids, a guarantee that also comes with Carmen Electra’s pussy.

Her name is Lake Bell, I never heard of her, but even if I had, I probably wouldn’t remember because she seems like nothing special. This is her Details Magazine shoot that probably comes with a really interesting interview if you are gay or a fan of Lake Bell, but since all I hear when girls talk to me is the fantasy of the moans and grunts they’d be making when having sex all while staring at their tits, I feel like her actual opinion on things would take away from that. Who cares about how she got into the business when she could be crawling around on all fours, I guess it’s just a question of prioritizing and time management and if she wants more successes should keep her comments for someone who has no choice to listen to them, like her mom, because all we really want is to see her vagina talk.

Virgins like Olivia Munn and I like making fun of virgins, especially when they are in their late 20s who collect action figures, who love comic books and who spend their lives hiding in their apartment filled with computer equipment. The same kind of virgin who got excited when Geek Chic became popular 5 years ago, thinking that it was finally their time to shine, until that fad faded fast, leaving them alone to watch TV shows designed for teenage girls, even though they are more sexually inexperienced than teenage girls and can hardly relate to the subject matter and other shit like G4TV because they have a crush on the host who pretends she can relate to geeks by reading a script and lookin’ decent enough for the geeks to feel like they really have someone they can connect with, even though she’s on TV and not on their couch watching Star Trek with them.

None of that matters, what does matter is that Olivia Munn got into her bikini again for the geeks to get more excited about how hot they think she is, but that hotness is probably 95 percent delusion that she’s actually into the same shit as they are - when in reality, she’s just into the paycheck and the whole getting on TV thing because every girl who thinks she’s hot also thinks she deserves fame and fortune, even when they don’t and the closest they can get is a third rate show on a third rate cable channel only losers care about.

I just wrote about how Alessandra Ambrosio being a pregnant Brazilian with big pregnant lady tits is nothing to get off to, but Brazilian tranny porn is. Part of me hates saying that this slut Gisele is a tranny because everyone says that shit all the time and it’s repetitive, but the truth is that no one I know finds her hot and like to reference Leonardo DiCaprio’s time with her as an experimental time in his life. I also like to say that she reminds Tom Brady of the those college football initiation days, when he would shove a broom stick up his ass while jerking off for his teammates before showering in their cum in the lockerroom before washing up together and goin’ out for a beer to fuck bitches together….Either way, this tranny has a tit and it’s distracting us from her busted up mug, so enjoy it, cuz it’s not gay if she looks like a girl, at least that’s what everyone I know who’s been sucked off by trannies have always said to me and I believe them….because they have no reason to lie to me, it’s like once you openly tell someone you’ve got off to a tranny you’ve pretty much divulged your deepest darkest secret and there’s little worse than that…I don’t know what I am talking about but I do hate you…and if that doesn’t make this post better…I don’t know what does.

Hustler Lingerie, known for being one of the classier brands of lingerie found in strip clubs and trashy party slut homes around America because it doesn’t give you a rash or turn your skin green like some cheap jewelry you bought at the mall, did some kind of photoshoot of their shit with some porn lookin’ bitch and I figured I’d post it here for you to lighten up your depressingly useless day.

Sure, it’s not as exciting as real porn and the no name who is a no name according to me and could actually be a someone is hardly anything to look at, even though she looks better than my wife or pretty much anyone I’ve ever fucked, but in my defense, I am not encouraging my wife or anyone I’ve ever fucked to produce videos like this I am definitely not watching or thinking about seeing them like this, not that I wouldn’t, because the truth is disgusting girls getting naked usually gets me more aroused than watching this plastic lookin’ sluts livin’ out what is probably the height of their careers, but maybe I’m just weird….in fact, I think we’ve established that I am weird a long time ago….so just watch the fuckin’ video….

Since I’ve been doing this a long time, I kind of understand the cycle that celebrities go through when they are promoting movies because they all go to the same route and all have the same worthless publicist who uses the same fuckin’ contacts to get the same kind of exposure as all the other girls. They all do the same daytime TV shows, late night TV shows, magazines and GQ is one of them and this is Mila Kunis’ shoot.

It’s like a bitch is pretty much non-exitant for years then all of sudden she’s everywhere, people are writing about her, people are talking about her, all because of her stupid movie when they should be giving her dirty looks for being the girl who fuck’s that kid from Home Alone, because whenever I tell people how I wanna bang the girl from Parent Trap they all give me dirty look….Life is unfair more proof of that is how much this photoshoot sucks. If I did GQ, I’d make sure they sprawl me out in a skimpy bikini on a bear fur rug, but only because fat guys in bikinis always gets a cheap laugh and at this point I am willing to do pretty much anything to make someone laugh…

It’s no lie that I think teenage girls are hotter than middle aged 20 something girls. They have tighter bodies, perkier tits and they don’t annoy you about going to dinner parties, having babies or moving in together, they are just excited enough to hang out with you when it’s not a school night.

This is a video of Angelina Jolie doing some kind of photoshoot when she was 16 for some kind of pervert that was unfortunately not me because I don’t mess with taking pictures of girls who need parental consent, it just causes too many problems when the police steal my hard drive, but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t want to have been there watching from the closet, because that’s kinda my thing.

I don’t really care about photoshoots because they are all white washed, airbrushed and not real life, but I figure since I always complain about how busted some of these celebrities look in bikinis on the beach, I’d throw up this naked Lima pictures from GQ because she’s got a hot body.

The last time I was on the beach was a long time ago the only bitches who get half naked or topless seem to be European middle aged women who have had so many kids that their old lady floppy tits and ravaged loosed skinned stomachs aren’t something they are insecure about anymore, it’s something they’ve grown to accept, because if they didn’t then they’d be forced to jump off a bridge or some shit. It’s the equivalent of a fat lady wearing jogging pants out in public because the elastic waistband is he only thing that fits. It’s never the tight bodied teen lookin’ for a tan to bring home to her boyfriend who runs around with her hot body naked. So being a pervert, I was forced to stare at any nipples the ocean offered but I wasn’t very happy about it.

Here are those Adriana Lima pics because this shit never happens in real life….

Watch the Behind the Scenes Photoshoot Video You Pervert.

I never really understand what goes through a girls mind when she takes naked pictures of herself, but then again I am not a reality TV star on one of the worst shows on TV. It’s obviously got something to do with wanting to get more exposure, because they know that nakedness means a lot more attention than just staging a nipple slip or upskirt or whatever the fuck else these bitches do to get famous, when not ready to go all the way with a sex tape. It’s like bitch thinks she’s too classy to get a dick in her on camera for the world to see, but she’ll dress like a cheap stripper in a slutty school girl outfit to show off her tits.

The story is they were an audition set she wanted to send to Playboy when she was fresh out of highschool, sexually charged and thought she was hotter than she is because daddy bought her a set of fake tits for her birthday because she already had everything else that she ever wanted and she wanted to show them off. She’s like every tacky club slut I see, with their short skirts and low cut top, showing off their Playboy Bunny tattoo as they step out of their Range Rover and I guess these pics really aren’t that big of a deal, since she’s not spreading her pussy apart, and this is some discount bargain basement version of an erotic photoshoot, but I guess if you’ve ever wanted to see her tits, now you can.

Kate Moss did a topless photoshoot for some magazine and I figured I’d post them because I am a fan of Kate Moss. She lives a good life, she does drugs, she parties, she has a lot of money, she’s not a very involved parent, which is nice because who wants a bitch who is spending all her days hanging with her kid, when you’d rather be partying and doing drugs globetrotting…and she likes getting naked.

I remember the last mother I dated, I ended up marrying and everything became about her fucking kids. All the money she brought in went to buying them clothes and that only worked out in my favor when their purchases were bikinis or new panties and it involved modeling them for my opinion. They were practically 18, I’m not a fuckin’ pedophile. Asshole.

Here are some pictures of model Angela Lindvall showing off her naked boy body, provided the naked boys you know have milkin’ nipples and a hairy pussy. I am all for anyone showing their pussy, even if shit’s not brazilian waxed, like you’d expect from a model, but that’s just because fully bald pussy is as played out as a pussy can get now. Sure there was a time when that trend first hit where I’d instantly get a boner thinking about it, because the girls who were bald were the same girls who were letting dudes fuck them and whenever you got a hairy bitch, you knew she was either a prude, a hippie or a slob. Then after a decade of bald, landing a girl with a bit of bush was like a special treat that only happened every once in a while and seeing a vagina with decorative on it was like having a cake with icing on it. That said, I still think shit looks like a small furry squirrel that’s hungry for my penis sized dick.

I am all for girls getting naked, even if it’s for artistic photoshoots, but I guess getting models naked comes with the territory so it shouldn’t be a big deal. They are always walking around at photoshoots and backstage at fashion shows with their body parts hangin out and for everyone to see….so these pictures aren’t a thing, but I’ll post them anyway because I post pussy any chance I get, especially when it’s not pornographic, because I am tried of being called a porn site and if you consider this kind of thing pornographic, you clearly don’t get much pussy, but we already knew that….

So all you motherfuckers got all excited about seeing Lohan topless or nude despite being covered in freckles in the Lindsay Lohan Nude Photoshoot for NY Mag. I didn’t really give a fuck about them either way, because a staged photoshoot with tits is boring, no matter who the tits belong too. I want to see vagina with dick in it from a picture taken by a paparazzi in a closet, none of this airbrushed studio bullshit…. I did ask a plastic surgeon if her tits were real and he said they were real…implants. I also spoke to a dude who goes to her coke parties and he said she was always naked and advertised the fact that her tits were great fakes. I am going to say shit looks real to me…real fantastic and all you virgins are too busy jerking off to agree.

Either way, the fuckers at NY Mag who threatened me with a law suit yesterday are milking this story as hard as the cocks they like having shoved in their fashionable pretentious lawsuit threatening asses and released these out takes that look the same as the last batch….kinda like a Lohan herpes outbreak, the sores always hit the same spot and lacks excitement because you already know what to expect.

Either way, let’s hope bitch will take Marilyn Monroe’s lead and let this be her last photoshoot before having an overdose on barbiturates leaving her a hollywood legend that we can all look back upon and remember how hollywood turned her into a spoiled talentless cokewhore who was addicted to sex but never released a sex tape but always made us feel better about our miserable lives 20 years from now….