I have always wanted to walk into one of the many stripclubs I have been to over the course of my life, and run into someone I know. I’ve thought it’d be so funny to get a lapdance from random people in my past whose life didn’t work out as planned and brought them to giving me lap dances for 10 dollars a song. I thought it’d be funny if it was girls who may have worked at a store I used to go to, or someone from the church group that used to give us warm soup in the park, maybe someone prude who used to judge me for being a pervert, an ex girlfriend or one of the hot girls from school who didn’t give me the time of day, because they had this false sense of talent, before reality set in. It hasn’t happened yet, but a girl I know did do Playboy and her pictures came out today.
Her name is Candace Rae , she is my friend, and she’s finally got naked for me and the rest of the world to jerk off to. I am posting this to encourage her to get more naked for me when we hang out, because it took Playboy to actually get those panties off after at least a year of ignoring my constant requests….
Jayde Nicole is the postergirl for the high school slut from a poor single home who doesn’t really want to become a stripper because she thinks it is beneath her but doesn’t mind getting naked because vagina has been her number one tool to get things she wants whether from teachers, rich older men in the small town they are from, bosses at the Walmart they work at, or drug dealing boyfriends who buy them all the fancy Ed Hardy they want, before realizing that Hollywood is where the real money is, so sticking in her shitty small town in Canada is a stupid strategy to get in a place where she can buy all the tacky shit she always wanted, at all the stores all the tacky Hollywood bitches she envied used to shop, so she takes some nude pics, sends them to Playboy and next thing you know, bitch is on MTV and shopping at Kitson instead of the shitty sex store in her hometown and the whole thing is like a fucking fairytale…a really boring fairytale that I wish ended in gangrape.
Here she is wearing a onsie like she was still that 8 year old in Canada too poor to get new pajamas that fit her…too poor to have a bed, forced to squeeze into a crib and play with old dirty rocks she found in the cemetary she lived next doo to..only a lot cheesier….
I am surprised Tara Reid’s still alive, I just assumed she died decades ago, but instead she’s making an appearance showing off her botched fake tits we have all already seen during her fall from her peak, which really isn’t news, considering she’s really irrelevant and has been for at least 5 years and at her level of fame you’d expect her publicity stunt to involve sucking dick on camera or at least flashing some fucking cunt.
Playboy will ask me to take these down…cuz they love suing people like me….even though they send me emails every week asking me to promote their bullshit…that’s called a one-sided relationship, someone needs to teach them to share, if they did maybe they wouldn’t be going bankrupt…
Jayde Nicole, Karissa and Kristina Shannon all got together and bonded over the fact that they get naked in pictures to advance their otherwise pre-determined career of being strippers before getting the “big break’….These kids of whores who are a lot less attractive in clothes need to realize that they are useless and the only reason people actually care about them is because they were naked….not because they are out lookin’ homeless in shitty rock t-shirts and ill-fitting jeans.
Seriously, I see hotter girls than this at my local starbucks, only unfortunately for me, those girls aren’t cheap and easy whores taking the whole getting naked for money lazy girls, especially when they are twins approach to life….that I sometimes encourage, but only because I like seeing pussy and without these lazy unambitious girls, I would be forced to deal with my wife’s vagina forever.
Heff shouldn’t let them out of their money making cages because I think seeing them fully clothed is pretty shitty for the brand…no wonder Playboy is going bankrupt, seriously, this is totally unacceptable. Seriously.
Joanna Krupa has been trying to solidify herself as famous or relevant by taking her clothes off for the last 8 years and the best job that she’s got in all those years is a gig on Dancing with the Stars, something designed for has-beens who had no more hope of making a comeback or having a career but did have a lot of time on their hands and were desperate to find something to keep themselves busy due to the suicidal thoughts they were constantly having and their therapists orders because otherwise they’d be found hanging from the rafters, cuz they sold their soul to the devil so many years ago, thinking their peak was just the beginning and nothing would get lower than that and now they are paying like they were Lindsay Lohan by humilating themselves thru dance.
So instead of being someone who became a nobody holding on for sanity on a show that happened to get famous, she was an actual nobody who figured the show would help get her out having no work, despite her willingness to show off her fake tits, since she did spend her yearly income on them in hopes of making more money as a bottom feeder, you know titties as a tool to get noticed….and now she’s doing December 2009 Playboy, because when people are watching and you are a household name for the first time in your life…you gotta pull all the stops and really saturate the market with you.
The only problem I have with this bitch getting naked for fame like she always had, hopefully with a better outcome now that she’s a household name, is that she’s not flashing her fucking pussy.
Jayde Nicole is a piece of trash whore. I’ve seen her in interview with her mom and they lived in a pretty shitty fucking house, in a pretty shitty neighborhood, and she clearly didn’t have a father, and her mother was clearly proud how far her little baby took the body the mother gave her and sucked dick in parking lots to afford to feed, because when it comes to doing pretty low hanging things to get paid or famous or a rich boyfriend getting naked in pictures doesn’t have shit on sucking dick in parking lots and here she is living the fuckin’ poor chick dream.
I guess Coco did Playboy, which would make sense because she’s a whore who made it into the mainstream by wallet fucking some rapper/actor/pervert who likes white chicks who look like ghetto strippers or prostitutes from ghetto towns where fat asses are loved and give the delusion that she are hot, making her pretty easy to buy and I guess he’s not the only one because close to a million people cared enough to watch it today, so I might as well post it for you….
I hate Heidi Montag, so the only thing that would make these Playboy pictures of her exciting for me is if she was dead in them. Seriously, like a shotgun wound to the fucking head kind of dead because her cunt behavior needs to be fuckin’ stopped. It is at the point of ridiculous, but at least she’s got a decent body to distract me from that cunt horse face and when whoever it is who is going to kill her, because she’s not the kind of person who will die from natural causes cuz she’s annoying as fuck, I hope he takes out the rest of the cast of their bullshit store….motherfuckers piss me offf….
To See The Rest Follow this Link….Cuz Otherwise Playboy Will Sue Me… GO
Here’s some Playboy chick who I don’t understand how she got into Playboy. I guess Playboy had some quota to fill because of her ethnicity and they were trying to knock down the stereotype that they only promote blonde, fake titty cunt. I figure they coulda got on a plane and found some substantially better lookin Asian bitch for a lot less money, I mean from what I know Asia is built on rub and tugs and prostitution, if she is even Asian, I mean I can’t really tell behind that broken down face, but I can tell that she’s a huge joke especially considering she tours as a fucking DJ, one I assume plays the shittiest music to an Ed Hardy crowd because Ed Hardy crowd are so faggot that they don’t know what makes a pussy hot, but know to get excited when they hear that girls are in Playboy because that must mean they are hot, since they are too busy lookin’ at themselves while spotting dudes in the mirror at the gym….
I saw Brody Jenner once. I think he was 5 foot 4. I walked by him at some event where he was surrounded by pussy throwing itself at him. I’m talking the party was 20 chicks for every dude, and although leaving alone, it would have been a great opportunity for dudes chicks actually wanna fuck, and not creepy old fucks who have no business at Brody Jenner parties. Anyway, this is the pussy he pretends is his only pussy, she’s some Playboy trash from Canada and when I say trash, I mean serious trash, like her single mom is a cocktail waitress and hooters or a stripclub so that she can afford the fake Chanel so people don’t realize they live in a fuckin’ trailer, who taught her daughter the value of of getting naked for money, and is now lovin’ all the perks that come with it, like now they can finally wear real Chanel, or some shit…and here is Brody Jenner missing a perfectly good opportunity to end all the trash and throw the cunt down the fuckin stairs “accidentally”, in hopes she Natasha Richardsons’ or Christopher Reeves’, leaving him free from the welfare headaches, but unfortunately that storyline isn’t written into the script for The Hills….
I am posting these pictures of Bridget Marquardt because despite the fake tits, the crows feet and the fact that she’s a whore who was in Playboy and fucked an old man to further her career, she’s still dressed like she’s in preschool about to go finger paint in her little smock and I know how much you like that.
Jayde Nicole is from Canada, she’s also a fake titty whore who was Playmate of the year at one point in her career, making her really live up to the cheesy Ed Hardy wearing 9 to 5 millionaire her poor ass wanted to be, back when she lived with her single mother who worked at a diner, suckin’ dick on the side to get by, only to turn around and teach her daughter what is really important in life by encouraging her to be a high class escort because the perks that come with that mean a good life, and really these poor wallet fuckers are proud of where they are right now.
I’ve seen her in person once or twice and she looks like a little worthless slag and I am sure if she was in a bar next to you, you’d only look twice because of the cleavage, she’s one of those thinks she’s better lookin than she is kinda girl, which always gets in the way of me getting them masturbating on video because they think they are too good for me, but they aren’t too good for Playboy, that shit’s like the Holy Grail to them. Word.
Who the fuck is Olivia Munn again? Oh right she’s that annoying pawn that G4 TV used to be the cool and crazy techy girl who is well versed in nerd interests and activity and news in order to trick the target market into thinking that hot chicks actually care about the same shit they care about.
Well I guess she did Playboy and this is the cover…I have a feeling she didn’t get naked….That would make her nerds hate her….
I guess Playboy is struggling and in efforts to keep their advertisers coming back – they decided to get two of their hookers to eat a Quiznos sub erotically in their lingerie. I guess they are hoping the power of media will make people who watch it, get hungry and run out to the closest Quiznos to re-enact this performance on their desk at work, until the boss has to fire them, because men in women’s lingerie, sucking off a sandwich is inappropriate office behavior.
The whole thing is shameless, obvious and I am posting it because some of you like to jerk off to women and food, when I try to avoid that shit, because food is what killed my wife or at least her sex appeal.
Hugh Hefner treats his whores pretty fucking well. He takes them to events and gives them careers and pays them huge money. He probably has benefits and pension plans and the only thing shitty in the whole thing is that they have to fuck an 85 year old who in reality is a trophy for their kind, because he pretty much invented fake blonde hair and fake tits, and has a lot more money and power than the scummy blue collar dudes they used to fuck back home after work at the local chicken joint.
When I get whores, I just cum on their faces for an extra 5 dollars, if I am not making them lick my bleeding hemorrhoid asshole, to test if they are desperate enough….
