Go to 4 minutes into the video to see Sophie Monk in her natural habitat of Australia, where her couch, like mine, was covered by a sheet, to make the piss stains, holes and maggots living inside it, less offensive when sitting down to watch a movie. Sure, she wasn’t as poor as the homeless guy I met in an alley when taking a piss, who was smashing his head against a dumpster screaming in pain, only to come up to me in some kind of bloody mess asking me if I was involved in the black market organ trade, and not believing me when I said no, or the street kid with a tattooed face who was moaning to himself yesterday and when I asked him what was wrong he told me his mouth hurt, when I asked why, he lifted up his lip to show me a rotted out mess that smelled like death and that he couldn’t get fixed because he had no money for a dentist, but poor never the less.

Either way, it’s nice to see Sophie not forgetting where she came from as she climbs into her Range Rover in LA after a long day of going to Pilates, that was probably followed up by sitting on her ass, or taking a bubble bath, or calling Ryan Seacrest and talking about boys.

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So people are saying that Rihanna is poor, but here are some pictures of her shopping and it looks like she’s managed to buy herself some pretty stupid fucking shoes/sandals/ hockey pads that I don’t fuckin’ understand but hate. I guess it’s possible that whatever company created this hideous invention gave them to her for free, but it doesn’t matter, what does matter is that people say despite being on the radio and in the club all the fuckin’ time, bitch is only worth 20,000 dollars

If that is true, she wouldn’t be the first black person exploited and the way I see it, is that she was just some slut in Barbados who was discovered and offered a shit deal. Possibly because there was no guarantee her shit would work and it was a risk, but the label wanted to give it a try or maybe they just knew she would sign because of where she was at, knowing that living in Barbados your real only high point would be playing the nightly resort show she was probably auditioning for when it went down.

So it’s one of those situations where she signs on to the first deal that comes her way, she figures it’s a dream come true, they offer her a million dollars as an advance but that has to be paid back to pay for costs like videos and CDs and shit, and she clears 20,000 dollars at the end of the whole thing, which is probably still double what her family makes back home not to mention she’s gets to live the celebrity high life and I guess you just can’t put a price on that.

She’s the kind of meal ticket all record labels dream of, you know the third world kind with low expectations, a person you can exploit and hire to work your plantation while you get richer and it’s just the way shit is and who really cares about her finances when you can watch her suck that Starbucks straw like it was your dick only your dick’s not quite that wide making getting pussy an embarrassing endeavor.

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I am feeling really uninspired. There are no good pictures for me to write about. I am still hungover and I don’t have much to say. I had this video lying around from a few months ago and figured that it is worth posting now. I don’t think poor people collecting cans to make some money to feed their families is all that funny, but on a nice day the day before your weekend I figure I should try to take you down a notch from your perfect little world. A little back story is that these women went crazy on me for taking the video, they kept calling me a dirty son of a bitch and I ran away from them like the pussy I am. I figure since they had no shame in picking up people’s trash, they’d probably have no shame in jabbing a broken bottle in my neck or some shit. I didn’t get that part on vide, but I’m not good at this shit so this will have to do. Enjoy your weekend and spending your hard earned money on things you don’t really mean on the beautiful summer days. Asshole.