I don’t cover much porn news here, that’s because I used to work in a porn company and can’t really stomach watching these fake, plastic, disgusting looking girls, who have had way too much dick and drugs in their lives and who did it for money because it’s just not hot to me. I am more into everyday girls, amateurs and your sister, girlfriend and girls I meet in clubs, because let’s face it, everyday sluts are just hotter than career sluts.

After the success of Chasey Lain Hitting Rock Bottom I was reminded that all you perverts love porn, it’s really the only sex you’ve had and with that has come a couple of hot stories.

A source close to Lexxi Tyler emailed me to tell me that the pretty useless pornstar who hasn’t really done all that much porn and who I have never heard about has been seen driving around in her brand new Bentley. Making me believe I am in the wrong business, because if you can afford a Bentley after being in a handful of movies, shit must pay fucking well.

I ended up investigating a little bit and found out that there are a whole lot of pornstars that solicit themselves as escorts for their fans to fuck. After trolling the internet I found out that I can fuck some of your favorite pornstars for anywhere from 500 dollars to 15,000 dollars for a 3 days weekend, depending on who it is. The reason for this is simple, they already see their vaginas as cash cows, they are already selling sex and getting paid for sex, and the average fan is willing to pay a lot more than a porn studio because to a porn studio there are so many girls out there and to the fan there’s only one Lexxi Tyler. So what this means is that when you watch porn, the girls you see are just using that shit as a marketing tool for their prostitution and some are better at it than others because when a whore who looks like a haggard tranny, with a broken down face and a pair of shitty fake tits can afford a Bentley, you know that meaty disgusting AIDS pussy is doing something right and by right, I mean prostituting herself and other girls to losers like you….

I guess her dad, uncle and every man who ever molested her, raped her and ruined her emotionally is giving themselves high fives right now, not because they got up in this over priced vagina for free but because the deep rooted issues she’s got from their abuse has made her rich and that means they are pretty much off the fuckin’ hook and are actually slated to receive a percentage of her earnings for being the major inspiration in her work.

People told me not to post this becaue Lexxi Tyler will sue me because these porn sluts are quick to sue but I am just writing the shit I found online and if people don’t want their dirty little secrets that buy them Bentley’s out there, they should consider not posting ads to fuck them on the fucking internet for people like me to find. If these are fake ads and this whole thing is a lie, which is possible but unlikely, she’s still clearly a haggard fuckin’ slut and you can’t sue me for sayin’ that truth,

The good news for you is that you can fuck all the pornstars you have a crush on, all you need is a job or a credit card. Let’s hope this inspires you to get off your lazy broke ass and out there into the workforce, so that you can start saving, because turning masturbation fantasy into a reality should be enough reason to make those needed changes in your life. I feel like Doctor Phil right now.

It was a great shock when I opened my email and found this insane video of Chasey Lain at some porn shoot recently totally off of her game, cracked the fuck out of her mind and lookin’ ragged as hell. She fights with the producer, brags about her Rolls Royce and freaks out when she can’t find her crack after getting fired from the job for being a fuckin’ spaced out crack head.

I mean I always thought that pornostars were well put together professional girls, who just know how to use their pussies to make them money and shit’s strictly a matter of business, I never thought that pornostars were from broken homes, of poverty, molestation, alcohol and drug addiction, physical abuse and all the good things that makes a woman fuck on camera for money.

I think along with nudity, fake tits, live sex…seeing pornostars jacked on drugs or smokin’ crack comes with the territory as 10 men cum on their faces. It’s the easiest way to live with yourself by slowly killing yourself because you realize now that you’re a hasbeen whore and that you’ve made your money, you’re still hurting on the inside because you realize you degraded yourself all these years and the glory and fame wasn’t worth it because now you’re forced to fuck your fans, who still aren’t over you from the 90s for money to maintain your lifestyle…and when talent start fuckin’ their fans you know a drug overdose isn’t too far away.

Watch the video, lives falling apart at the seams is funny, especially when it happens to whores!!

Here’s Party Number 2

Her name is Pinky XXX and she’s a fuckin’ nasty fuckin’ pornstar who makes me sick to my fuckin’ stomach and not because she’s black but because she’s a piece of fuckin’ trash and her fuckin’ ass is retardedly fat and not in a good way. I don’t get how this big booty shit became popular because when I look at it, I see one too many bowls of ice cream but dudes seem to see sex and that confuses me. The reason I am posting this shit is to give you a glimpse into how trashy and uneducated a money driven whore who gets paid to do dirty things with her body actually is.

She fuckin’ slaughters white girls in this shit and goes off about how if she was a white slut she’d never would have made the kind of money she made. If the tables were turned and she was a white girl rippin’ into black girls she’d be called a racist but because of the years of oppression and shit she can get away with it. It’s kinda like BET but the fatter assed slut who takes on multiple cock and slaps her ass version.

The highlight is when she claps her ass cheeks and talks about how she broke some small dicked motherfucker’s dick and made him bleed. I guess compared to her ass even the biggest dick looks small and that’s the added hit on your self esteem when you lower yourself to fuck a fatty. Either way, I guess it’s a good move for her considering her only other career option was to work behind the counter at a fast food chain.

I didn’t know who this bitch was before a week or 2 ago so I have no idea when they were taken and that means that they could be old or they could be new but one thing I am sure about is that they are fucking shitty.

This Vanessa Hudgen’s bitch is doing what almost every girl in my life has done. She’s given us a taste of her nakedness, because one night she had poor judgment and now that we want more she’s keeping shit covered up. My logic is that since we’ve already seen it, you should be naked every time we’re together, and since I don’t get out much, being together is you in pictures on my computer.

I remember after almost every girl I ever hooked up with on any level, I’m talking them topless, them bottomless, them flashing me, them showering for me, me finger-banging them, me going down on them, them going down on me, anal sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, dry sex, heavy petting, drunk sex, sober sex, lesbian sex… it was always a one time deal. They’d give me a taste and I never had what it took to get them doing it again. The shame and embarrassment outweighed the fun in doing it and since they knew that I wasn’t up to their standards, they could easily find a better guy to share their goods with. I predict that’s what you can expect from this High School Musical slut, we’ve got a taste and you won’t be seeing her naked for a little while.

But we will see her in shitty bikini pictures.

Bonus - I found some Better Quality Pics of Her With the Fag Efron….

This girl on my AIM was telling me about some dude she’s fucking who is pretty dirty, even more dirty than the dude who jerked off on her panties. This motherfucker no only took her anal virginity while choking her, he also told her that he wants to fist her and when he tried he couldn’t get past three fingers, so the next day he shows up at her house with a speculum and a DVD filled with anal porn, but not anal porn he bought, anal porn he downloaded off the internet….obviously classy.

So this bitch has issues and is submissive and decides that this guy, despite being married deserves her full attention, I guess since she gave him her ass at 30, he holds a special place in her heart. So in efforts to please the asshole she’s shoving this thing in her to stretch herself out for him to fist her and live his fantasy out, while treating her like nothing but a whore….

That means, after he’s done with her and got what he wanted and walks, she’s going to be there all loose vaginaed and confused as to where shit went wrong.

This is a fucked up story, that I didn’t make up and that proves that people out there are fucking insane. When I used to get with girls, I’d try to make them do kegels to tighten their shit not loosen it, but maybe that was because I am not into fisting and I have a retardedly small penis.

So whatever your fetish is, remember some of us are judging you and think you’re a twisted sick fuck. That’s all I have to say about that.

Here are some pictures of pornstar Jesse Jane and her dirty fake tits at some porn awards I wasn’t invited to. Just knowing how many dudes have cum on those things makes me feel dirty looking at her, but I’d still do her if I could get it up.

Since my stepdaughter hasn’t shown up in the last 4 days and has been writing posts from god knows where, I am forced to put up these posts from her gay friend Julien. Now I generally try to stay as far away from fags as I can, not because I am scared they are going to try to fuck me, even the horniest fag won’t hit on me, I just don’t have what it takes and I remember once feeling depressed about that, thinking shit, I must be pretty fucking ugly for a fag not to try to get with me, when fags pretty much fuck anything that walk, but then realized that it’s a good thing..and the reason I stay away from fags is not because of the annoying twang in their voice or annoying light on their feet strut, it is because AIDS is the gay disease and I’ll never forgive them for that….

Since all the blogs with gay writers are making huge money, I am jumping on the bandwagon and hoping the queers out there eventually flock to this site and bring your fag hags with you because that’s when I’ll know that I’ve made it.

Here’s what Julien had to say:

The thing I like about trannies and their boobs is that they know their boob’s aren’t real, they have no problem or hang ups about showing them off. A few years ago I was really good friends with this trannie and she would always wear REALLY low cut shirts and she never wore a bra. After she had a few drinks in her she would go up to guys and start yanking down her shirt and play with her boobs. Because for her, he boobs were nothing more than augmented skin with some silicon stuffed inside. Well this one time she and I were walking down the street and she flashes some guy walking by and this woman runs up to her and starts yelling at her, saying things like “You should have some self-respect” and “You don’t need to show your breasts to get attention”. I thought that was pretty funny because my tranny friend was not passable at all. I mean infants and dogs could tell that she used to be a man. But here was this woman yelling at her about how women need to have respect about their breasts.

Now I don’t really know how this story links to these pics of Tera Patrick. I don’t know who Tera Patrick is. But I’m assuming she some sort of tranny because only a tranny would be showing off her boobs like that.

P.S. I was trying to think of something to write about her dumbass sparkly Hello Kitty necklace, but I couldn’t come up with anything good. So let’s pretend that I wrote something really bitchy. Ok?

Smooch!
Julien

My stepdaughter is pretty bored this summer and has taking an interest in what I do, so I decided to let her post here and manage the site when I leave for the cruise my wife won this week. She’s 18. She’s been raised properly by me since she was 12 and if I didn’t think she was good enough to pick up my slack, I wouldn’t let her take this shit over for the few weeks I am gone. So this is her first post.

I have no idea who Tera Patrick is, but apparently she was a special guest at Crobar in Chicago and made an appearance a few nights ago. I’m guessing she is some sort of celebrity, or they wouldn’t have invited her to host anything, anywhere, and judging by the stuffed Hello Kitty doll, her cheap looking dress which was probably really expensive and her gigantic rack, I’m gonna say she’s a porn star.

There was a girl in the fourth grade named Beth who stole my boy friend, cause she had developed faster then all of us, gave blow jobs and had huge tits, while the rest of us just wanted to hold hands and play Pogs. It gave me this great anxiety complex where I was completely disgusted with my own body for a few years after and wore baggy clothes to completely cover it up. Everyone (mostly guys) always told me not to be worried about it, but I have a feeling that if every person they walked by could see the size of their cock and judge it as they wished, they would be changing their tune pretty fucking fast.

I went through a phase about 2 years ago where regardless of how nice they were, I wanted implants, and I was going to get them if it was the last thing I did. I even went as far as to start saving the money from my shitty job I still have at Dairy Queen to get them, looked into doctors, the whole nine yards. Luckily, one doctor I met with wasn’t a money grubbing prick, and instead of showing me lovely after pictures of happy women with their enlarged breasts, he showed me a video of the operation and how the women looked like they had been in a fucking car wreck after. He told me to get fuck out of his office and that was pretty much the end of me wanting implants. I suddenly had a new appreciation for my small, but nice, tits.

I ran into to Beth not long ago, it looked like her ass had finally caught up to those huge tits, and that all those huge tits and blow jobs got her was 2 kids, a welfare check and a black eye I’m presuming she got from which ever guy she is currently sleeping with. Serves you right, bitch. Heres some more pics of Tera Patrick. Her huge tits and blow jobs made her a fortune.

If you were sitting at home last night wondering where Kim Kardashian was out partying last night, you have serious fucking issues. Unfortunately, I know where she was partying last night because I guess I have serious fucking issues. It would seem like I actually care about this Armenian fashion accessory who is trying to make it on her own by breaking free from her criminal mentor while she is in Jail to develop her own career as a useless slut, but at least she’s doing it with tits. But I don’t. Having the best site on the internet that no one reads means I get shit emailed to me.

I am not sure who she’s out with, but it looks like her sister, or maybe bitch is like Sadam and has a group of 10 look-a-likes so that she can be in 11 places at the same time, and they are just meeting up not to exchange notes on where the stand in Kardashian’s gotta go. I am bad when it comes to ethnic people, I am not talking black or white or hispanic, I am talking middle eastern and asian, motherfuckers all look the fucking same.

We have all seen Kardashian get fucked, now we can see her text message friends which is eventually going to become the new porno because everytime I go out that seems to be what everyone in the place is doing. It’s like there was a time when girls would dance, and get drunk and talk to you, but now there are just groups of people at tables text messaging people who aren’t there making the party feel like a gamers convention at the 24 hour internet cafe. I predict that Girls Gone Wild 2010 is going to be a whole lot of naughty text messaging parties and instead of watching girls flash their tits to the camera, they’ll flash their text messages so that we can read all the sexy drunk talk that’s going down.

I am not even going to talk about her fat arms, because I am fat, and who really fucking cares if she has fat arms other than her. I know that her thickness wouldn’t stop you from slammin her, and by slammin I mean jerkin off to her sex tape because you like nature channel shit with haggard tranny pornstar lookin’ chicks in them.

Pictures Via thecobrasnake