I am slow fucking moving today, I am not sure why but I’ll blame it on the rain because it worked for Milli Vanilli until everyone realized that they should have actually blamed it on having no talent, that way there would have been so many less repercussions when the world found out that it wasn’t them singing their songs and they were just Britney Spearsing the shit. But I guess that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Spice Girl Victoria Posh Spice is wearing a semi-sheer top and you can kinda make out her nipples if you look hard enough. This shit is like a magic eye poster that I could never get to work for me, no matter how long or cross-eyed I stared at the shit for maybe it’s more like getting off to scrambled porn because blue distorted women on the screen getting fucked is better than no women on the screen not getting fucked if you know what I mean, which you do because you lost your virginity to yourself watching scrambled porn in the 90s.

Victoria Beckham has really big nipples and since I am a pervert I figure I should post them. I once knew a girl with inverted nipples and that shit freaked me out. The whole time I was banging her, I dreamt about real nipples like this and I think that bitch tarnished me for life, making me drawn to this kind of thing, but that doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that I met a girl this weekend who I told I wasn’t interested in meeting because I don’t like knowing people and she told me that we had met before about 5 years ago and I made fun of her shoes. She remembered me from 2002 and has hated me since so I learned a little lesson about consequences and how one drunken night can change a person’s opinion of you and make them hold a grudge against you for many fucking years.l I saw that movie with Adam Sandler, where the dude from highschool was putting on lipstick plotting against those who wronged him and I always thought that I was that guy. It turns out that I was completely wrong, like Beckham’s plastic surgeon who accidentally put a penis up on her tits, but that doesn’t mean you should be a dick to people, because I think your legacy should be a nice one. People should remember you as the guy who everyone liked and not the guy who ripped everyone a new assholes. The point of the story is that you want to be Posh Spice’s nipples before the surgery, you don’t want to be the bi-product that people like me get off to. There’s a lesson in everything. Just call me the professor….

These pictures of Posh spice on the Runway for some Cavalli trashy bullshit fashion show are reminiscent of the time I dated a Real Doll. The only difference is that Posh spice knows how to walk, talk, make babies and do mass amounts of cocaine off her husband/soccer player’s abs. Either way, I wasn’t really in a love affair with a real doll, I could never afford that shit, and I wouldn’t get all freaky like showering the doll and taking the doll out on walks and fuckin’ dressing the doll up and sleeping with the doll because that represents some serious psychological issues. I would probably just get addiced to the pussy and I’d never leave my house, because it would be embarssing walking around with a real doll attached to your dick. That’s the kinda shit that gets you arrested.