I wish the Pussycat Dolls were more honest in their name than they are, when I think of Pussy, I think of hot wet vagina, but for some reason these bitches just do tame, mainstream burlesque, and never actually show their pussies. So shit is a fucking lie. When I think of dolls, I think of the girl you will end up with, who isn’t actually a girl, but a 5000 dollar Real Girl who looks a bit like a girl and who never says no to sex, not because she’s a minx with a high sex drive, but because you are a rapist and its just your jerk your hand the next generation or some shit. The Pussycat Dolls should be called the Half Naked Cockteases, and when they have guest appearances from people like Kardashian, who are starving for press they change the Marquee to the “Ditchpig Immigrants”.

Kardashian is fat because she eats too much, she has no business dressing in lingerie, except when alone at home trying to feel sexy for a candle lit masturbation sessions, or when she gets down with black dudes, like she was a middle aged divorcee on Vacation in Jamaica lookin’ for a good time to help her get on with her life, but definitely never in public or on stage for people who paid tickets to see the shit like it was some kind of modern sexy freakshow at the fuckin’ carnival. It’s offensive to me and you encouraging her doesn’t help her or the obesity crisis, it just makes things worse.

Speaking of obesity, I went out drinking on Saturday, because I couldn’t kill my hangover and figured that drinking it was I do and when I drink consistently I don’t get hungover and as I was walking out of the bar drunk and tame, I walked into a group of Napolean small man syndrome jacked dudes punching each other in the face. I tried capturing the ridiculousness on video for stepTV but when one of the 5 foot 3, cocained-up, martial artist lame thugs saw me he got up in my face and threatened to take me down. As he was getting in my face, 5 of his mini men with biceps and tight shirts surrounded me like I was their next target and despite finding the whole thing to be a scene from a cartoon, I backed down because I am too old to fight 24 year olds for no reason. As they surrounded me, they were spitting out shit like “fatso” and he even went so far to call me “tits McGee” like some kind of trash redneck Canadian dis that was hysterically bad, I ended up getting out of the situation without getting hit, but about 4 minutes later I was innocently standing next to a hot girl and a dude walked by and said “your girlfriend is hot, but you’re fat”, the worse thing about that was that she wasn’t even my girlfriend, because if she was I wouldn’t have cared so much about being called names for no reason, because hot girls have that effect on me.

Either way, I went home with my tail between my legs, feeling like shit about myself, not because I didn’t already know I was fat, but because the world has little creativity when it comes to dissing someone, it’s like they go straight to the obvious. So instead of getting beat up about it and hitting the gym, I am going to make an effort in creatively cutting people down from this day forward, because there are a lot of assholes out there, I might as well be the best one.

Seeing a Pussycat Doll alone throws me off because I realize how ugly they are. It’s like having a threesome with two ugly chicks who combined with a willingness to suck your dick at the same time makes them worth getting hard for, or going to a stripclub on a night when all the girls are uglier than your wife but still worth getting a dance from just for the sake of grabbing new tits to add a new life to your relationship by making you happy your busted up soul mate shares a bed with you every night. Sure bitch is showing off her tight body from all her poledance classes in a pair of tight pants while pretty much posing in a way that makes her look ready and willing for cock, but without her sidekicks, she just looks like a drunk, horny, middle aged girl I’d still fuck when drunk and not so much like a popstar. The real issue is where the fuck the Pussycat Dolls recruit their talent, because it seems to be the same place I go to get laid if I’m willing to pay a little extra.

Either way, her name is Jessica Sutta and she’s in Miami at some music festival promoting something that may be a solo career, or maybe she’s just there to sit on the speaker while the bass is jacked up to remind her of the days she dated a dude with a motorcycle.

I don’t break stories and I was tipped off that this whole Audrina Patridge tattoo shit was some kind of Ashton Kutcher Punk’d the Next Generation prank on the public. So when I got this email that deciphered what looks like the shittiest Chinese character tattoo, something that looks like it was drawn on with a box of Crayola’s, that reads “Pork Fried Rice”, I knew it was a shitty joke on us and that the tattoo is faker than her tits, because the reality is that I’ve seen better fake tattoos on poor kids covered in dirt at the local fair and you know they don’t have a budget to trick us into thinkin’ that panther on their chest is real….

Sure people get ugly tattoos all the time, and sure they get Chinese symbols that don’t translate into what they think theyt translates into because the people getting Chinese character tattoos are usually clueless, yes I am talking to you, and they people giving them their shitty tattoos are usually trashy beer drinking bikers who they met at a flea market. I have seen this happen so many fuckin times, but never so big and obvious so I call lie on this shit. Not to mention Ashton’s fame died about 3 years ago and the only people he can easily recruit to do his shitty show are either friends or people starved for attention aching to be legitimately famous and who are willing to do anything to get there…someone like Audrina.

Either way, fake or not, shit’s still fuckin ugly but not as ugly as these pictures of Audrina as a Pussycat Doll because it is all her rich kid ass is good for….

I’ve taken shits hotter than Tori Spelling and I have some kind of liver failure shit that I never got checked out that fucks up my digestion, not that you care, but I figured I’d throw it out there so that you know that my bloody yellow stool is better put together than this bitch.

She hosted some Pussycat Doll show in Vegas and by looking at these pictures she looks like she’s better suited to host a tranny show in some seedy gay club that the tranny’s don’t even bother checking out because they’d rather sit at home and do their hair.

I was at a strip club and saw some bitch who looked a lot like Tori Spelling, only her tits were about 10 times the size, she was one of those fetish type of girls who was raped growing up and is taking reactive measures to deal with the pain of having her innocence taken. I’m talking tits so big bitch was a fucking cartoon character and when she took off my friends hat, and covered her tit with it, shit barely covered her insanely huge nipples. One of the many things better about this girl than Tori Spelling is that her pussy was pierced shut with some serious metal clasps and cages that made her look like she had a dick in her panties, but when it came off just brought home the fact that no dick was getting in that shit and no baby was coming out….Unfortunately for us, Tori obviously doesn’t have that proven by the fact that she just had a baby, and now some poor kids gotta grow up with a mom as embarrassing as this.

So this Pussycat Doll is launching her solo career and her new video involves her laying in bed in her panties, I guess she’s singing too but I kept shit on mute because I don’t like exposing myself to shit unnecessarily. I used to fight with my stepdaughter about the jiggy club anthems she would always listen to. I’d try to get her to turn the shit off because if I wanted to listen to jiggy club anthems, I’d go to jiggy clubs and order a bottle of Grey Goose and hustle chicks by giving them free drinks and showing off my jiggy tattoos and jiggy muscles while living the jiggy life….when I am not in the mood for that Jiggy shit, I’d rather listen to good music.

Either way, she’s showing off her body, because she’s not stupid and realizes that her body is her number one talent…The topless bikini scene is worth pausing…..lyrics like “you’re my baby love, you make the sun come up on a cloudy day” is just too deep for me to grasp (yes I turned on the volume) but tits and ass, I understand.