So the Pussycat Dolls are all about false advertising. They do these stripper performances in stripper outfits and they never actually take off their clothes and just sing and dance instead. It reminds me of the time I went to a stripclub during the day a few years ago and the girl on stage had a headset mic set up like she was Britney Spears or Madonna and as she was twirling around the pole, she broke into song. I thought to myself that this was both the weirdest concept I had seen at a strip club, even weirder than the girl who had a dildo attached to a remote control car and her assistant would let the audience try to drive it in her, and the funniest thing I had seen in a strip club, even funnier than the time in the 90s when a friend of mine in white pants came out of the lap dance area with a shit stain on his knee. I guess, the real reason I liked it was because of the broken dreams I knew this girl had, with enough confidence to sing on stage, I knew she would have rather been performing in her clothes in front of a real audience as a recording artist and not as a girl some old pervert is going to pay 10 dollars to touch. The crying in her voice made the whole experience that much more believable and that is why people like Nicole Scherzinger and the Pussycat dolls piss me off. They mock girls like the singing stripper I once saw and I take it personally, but not as personally as the stripper who I heard killed herself by taking too many sleeping pills…..

But that’s not the point of this post, the point is that we can all learn a few things from Nicole Scherzinger and her catalog of dance moves, and today’s lesson is the “Dog Piss Kick”. All you gotta do is squat then kick…..and once you master that you are one step closer to impressing girls in the club by busting out this move as part of your best Nicole Scherzinger impression, and by impressing girls, I mean making a fool of yourself.

Kardinal Offishall is a Canadain rapper who is about to drop his new album and make himself famous on the international level and you’ve probably heard his song with Akon. Now I don’t know Kardinal personally just because we live in the same country, but I do know that some dude who works with him hooked my stepdaughter up with amazing seats at an amazing concert with Wyclef and Akon a few months ago and he sent me this video of them in Malaga, Spain for a massive music festival, having dinner with The Pussycat Dolls & Louis Hamilton (Tiger Woods of Formula One), where they film some crazy Spanish homeless lookin’ dude dancing, before the redheaded Pussycat badly dances with him semi erotically, like she used to back when she was a stripper. So since I just woke up and I am behind on the latest celebrities doing boring things in pictures, I figured I’d throw it up for you and remind you that Kardinal Offishall’s team is nice to me and that’s more than I can say with every other company I have ever contacted, so support him if you can.

The Pussycat Dolls may useless stains on the world of music, but if you ask me, half naked chicks who do erotic shows and don’t show their pussies are pretty fucking useless, but when you compare this shit to everything else out there, it’s a little more interesting to watch and proves that if you want to make money, all you have to do is turn yourself into a sex object. I tried taking my own advice once and decided to show up to random job interviews topless, but turns out that we live in a sexist world and topless big breasted chicks get ahead, while topless big breasted men are looked at as if we’re disgusting creeps.

This is the some video shoot that the Pussycat Dolls are currently filming and I guess it’s the light at the end of the tunnel in some kind of a moment of inspiration for girls out there who think showing off their drunken asses at the club won’t lead to bigger and better things, because I know sometimes feeling objectified and only having a case of herpes to show for all your hard work you’ve put into being a slut can make you feel like throwing in the towel and giving it all up because it’s only downhill from here, but there is hope and hope is all we really have…..I feel like I’ve said that before….

I have always found Paris Hilton offensive, I think it started when I saw how bad of a fuck she was in her shitty video and continued in pretty much everything she did, including this stunt at her birthday party this past weekend where she performed with the Pussycat Doll like she’s someone we want to see in lingerie, without realizing that she is someone we want to see disappear.

I figure that at 27, bitch should lay off the club slutting and settle down with some unwanted pregnancy and deadbeat boyfriend, at least that would get her out of her lingerie and into a housecoat which in Paris’ case, fully clothed is a lot hotter than half naked, but instead she insists on hitting the clubs everynight like some kind of 19 year college girl looking for a rich guy to give her free drinks off his bottle to get her drunk enough to take her back to his luxury condo to teach her ass a life lesson about taking free drinks from a dude.

In these pictures Paris looks like a tranny rockin’ out at a drag show which makes sense since she’s at LAX in Vegas and that’s DJ AM’s on the “down low” gay club that he pretends isn’t a gay club because of he throws bikini contests to distract us from the fact that it’s a gay club, like that time I walked into the bus station at 2 am to take a shit after drinking too much on a bench outside and every bathroom stall was being used by married dudes who would meet there to get busy with other men they didn’t know while their wives were at home. It made for a pretty awkward shit.

Either way, we know the truth about DJ AM and that he is responsible for turning Nicole Richie into a little 90 pound 14 year old boy a few years back because it was the only way he could get it up for her. From what I’ve been told his erectile dysfunction had nothing to do with all the drugs he did in the past, but had to do with wanting dick and even going so far to get gastric bypass to be more desirable in the gay club circuit and I can only assume he’s involved in the hardening of Paris’ face that’s making her look like this skinny dude I know who has a little addiction to size 10 high heels and cheap lingerie, he’s not gay just a little confused from all the drugs he’s on to forget the time his childhood piano teacher taught him what jerking off is with his mouth.

Here are some pictures of one of the Pussy Cat Dolls outside of a club 3 or 4 days ago. I am not very fast moving most of the time, but when I saw these I figured I’d put them up for the same reason she ever got a job in the first place and that’s because of her tits.

I was talking to my friend from the park I can’t go to anymore because it’s frozen over like I live in some kind of hell the other day about how hot girls who aren’t making decent money are total fucking failures. So if you’re out there and meet a girl who’s got it going on, which I doubt because you’re a total fucking failure, but if you do and you find out they work as receptionists or at some entry level job or in retail, it means that she’s too stupid to use her looks to get her places and will just end up marrying rich because all whores like money, especially dumb hot ones who make 7 dollars an hour. While the smarter hot bodied chicks are out there using their bodies to make them money and they’ll let you grab them for 10 dollars a song.

I am sure there was a time this Rachel Sterling whore would have danced for you in the lap dance booth, because that’s how all these Pussy Cat Trash Talent was found, but now she’s too busy getting drunk and signing autographs like people actually give a fuck about her or know who she is, I think they’re just pretending to get in her pants, asking a bitch if she’s famous and asking for an autograph is a decent opener and I think you should use it tonight on every girl you see.