Here are some pictures of Mary Kate Olsen lookin’ fuckin amazing. I am all about the beat up homeless girl look, especially when the girls got a billion dollar company behind her, because it makes the whole thing feel a lot more like Halloween than the time I brought home some ratty broken down un-showered street kid because I thought I’d get busy with her after we washed her and groomed her a little, but she just ended up going into withdrawal and attacked me with a kitchen knife before taking my last 20 dollars and calling her ratty street kid boyfriend to come and save her from me. Never trust a junkie.

Either way, it turns out that Mary Kate Olsen is going out with Stavros again because they were seen making out or some shit and Paris isn’t too happy about that shit. If I was a billionaire heir like Stavros, I totally wouldn’t bother fuckin’ every hot poor chick I see out in clubs that are throwing themselves at me because of my money and my fame that isn’t real fame but stems from fucking famous chicks. I’d run to another billionaire I banged in her prime because we understand each other and how cruel the world can be on rich kids like us.

Bonus: Paris Hilton Proving that You Can Find Love If You Take a Pizza Delivery Boy and Get Him a Modeling Contract Making HIm and His Chiseled Good Looks Forever Indebted To You and Your Vagina, Kinda The Same Reason I Want to Go to the Third World and Find a Hot 20 Year Old and Trick Her With False Promises of the American Dream…..On a Side Note Paris’ Boyfriend’s Name is Alex Vaggo and the Way I Read That Seems Like They Were Destined to Be Together…Because Her Vagina Is Pretty Much The Only Thing That Got Her Where She Is Today and She Got A Lot Of Use Out Of IT….Daddy’s Money Woulda Only Taken Her So Far….So She Better Strap Down Before Her Junk Falls Apart…..