Call me sexist, but I don’t think girls should drive expensive sports cars because they have a hard enough time driving everyday cars that putting that kind of horsepower under their vaginas is just asking for disaster and a very luxurious traffic jam caused by her multiple attempts at parallel parking the fuckin’ thing. The only stick a girl should be rockin’ is the one in her man’s pants and if she needs to get herself around to the grocery store, because that’s really the only time she should be let out of the house, she should take the fuckin’ bus. But if a bitch insists on having her own car because we live in a modern world where women don’t belong to men, there’s always the Smart Car or the Miata or a minivan to pick the kids up from soccer, but a Ferraris shouldn’t even be considered because it should be illegal for them to get behind the wheel.
Speaking of girls lookin’ retarded, I was just outside for about a minute to see if the world had been wiped out by some kind of natural disaster and to my disappointment it hadn’t but this really hot girl wearing the tightest little shorts and the tightest little top rolled by me. I felt like she was sent by god to bring joy to my life with her bounching braless breasts in a wifebeater, before realizing she was on a fucking skateboard, not the longboard kind that you see on the beach that everyone is using for transportation these days, but an actual skateboard like Tony Hawk would use and no matter how hot she was, her awkward balancing and use of the thing offended me so much that I couldn’t enjoy her the way she was meant to be enjoyed because of her stupid gender bending behavior because she feels the need to break barriers by using something made for boys badly and I felt like I was at the circus.
Either way, here are pictures of Sophie Monk and her weird lookin’ face I want to fuck shopping for luxury sports cars because she’s richer than us even though she’s barely done anything, proving that entertainment is a smart career choice if you’re lookin’ for one. She’s obviously trying to feed some emptiness caused by her future husband and lesbian lover from Good Charlotte cheating on her with Paris Hilton, which is usually something that leads other girls to suicide because that vagina bumpin’ by association is too close for comfort.
Ivanka Trump is a rich chick who has had all the opportunities to be a normal twenty something rich party slut. She could have developed a drug or alcohol problem, a sex addiction or even flashed the camera a few times whether with upskirts, nipple slips, bikini action or even some fuckin’ cleavage. But instead, the only she gives us to work with is a face that’s seen one too many plastic surgeries and the ability to put any virile man to sleep with her boring choices of events to attend and clothes she wears to those events.
When I look at her, I think of a girl who has grown up way too fast for her own good, and I’m not talking about the kind of growing up too fast I like, with underage drinking, a sleazy career, more sexual partners than the average 40 year old and a couple abortions by the time she’s 18, I’m talking about turning into a 50 year old, soon to retire, educated career woman who hangs with other 50 year olds because they understand her.
She can play the whole not falling into the scene or taking advantage of the opportunities she has been given by fuckin’ around, but I think the reality of it all is that it’s a total fuckin’ waste of a good set of tits.
Here she is promoting some sort of golf products in her wool dress she borrowed from her born again Christian friend to depress you more that you already are.
I think I may be in love with Ivanka Trump. Not because she is hot but because I fall in love every time I leave my house, which isn’t as often as it probably should be meaning I am forced into falling in love with girls on the computer who I don’t know and will never know, but not because she’s got it going on, or because she’s got huge tits but because she’s got a huge bank account, and like most whores out there, I am willing to Anna Nicole Smith her ass because it would make for a good retirement fund, unfortunately she’s not 90, she just acts that age by being all studious with her business degree and all career oriented when she could be out getting fucked on camera while high on cocaine she bought from Lohan.
Either way, I did decide to leave my house and I am sitting next to some dude who is trying to seduce his girlfriend. I can only assume she doesn’t give him enough blow jobs and he figures charming her with his stupidities will make her feel special enough to take his load on her face. He just told her that he’s never fallen in love with a chick before her and that they were just pussy to him, but she’s something special….what his girlfriend doesn’t realize is that he never fell in love with a chick before, because there were no chicks, just cut outs from magazines in his wallet and posters on his wall. I guess this is what it’ll be like when you get your first girlfriend, I should ask him if he’s one of my 5 readers because you guys are way too similar for him to not be.
Look at Ivanka’s tits. They are big and they are rich. Like my penis, only the complete opposite, if you know what I mean….
