Here are some recent pictures of old lady Patrica Heaton in a bikini, something I could have died without never seeing, but that’s just because you all know how I feel about a bitch in a bikini who has no business being in a bikini, even if you’ve jerked off to her a few time when the only show on late night TV was an Everybody Loves Raymond re-run, because we all know that was just an act of desperation.

I know you are used to just staring at a girls vagina when you see her in a bikini, so if you just take your eyes off whatever the fuck she’s hiding in her bikini bottoms that make her pussy-sag, you’ll see that bitch doesn’t have a fucking belly button. I have no idea what the hell that means, maybe she’s a robot or maybe it’s some tummy tuck bi-product but whatever the fuck it is, it scares me. I guess the unfortunate thing for her is that they couldn’t have had the same disappearing effect on the rest of her sloppy body….I guess those advancements in medicine haven’t been made yet….but I am sure these superficial celebrities are pumping all kinds of money into it, why bother finding the cure to cancer and aids when you could invest in finding a way to make your ass look good enough to fuck….

I am gonna tell you how you spent last night, virigins. You got home from your job at the video store where you play the playstation on the display console when your boss is drinking in the boiler room. You ate the broccoli you mom over-cooked as quick as possible so you could jump into your old childhood bed. You took your trusty flashlight beneath your 30 year old Spidey sheets, and re-read some fantasy Tolkien knock-off involving dragons, beasts, and fairies, and arrows. Your favorite character is the tiny elfin nymph whose sexuality is left ambiguous. You put the book down and proceded to jerk off to the thought of the warrior-hero fucking the unisex fairy. This unixes fairy looks exactly like Michelle Williams, a 13 year old boy with a striking resemblance to Mia Farrow. You have to keep telling yourself that the book is wrong and the nymph is a woman and so is Michelle Williams, so you are not a homo or a pedophile.

I am not knocking your life choices, come on, I was a fucking hooker and am currently on welfare healthcare. But at least my life choices have always involved having real sex and not virtual elfin book sex with a character that probably looks like Michelle Williams. Here is your favorite boy-girl nymph strolling around Brooklyn yesterday without her husband Heath Ledger.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

Mom, is that you? I know that I am pretty slow moving today and that you’ve already left your shitty jobs to go home to spend you shitty weekend with your shitty friends and your shitty family and maybe if you’re lucky you’re shitty girlfriend will put out but reality is that you probably don’t have a shitty girlfriend you just have a shitty sex drive that isn’t shitty because it’s not raging, but shitty because you can’t do anything about it so that it hangs over your shitty head like a fucking demon you can’t get rid of because jerking off bored you and you already do it 3 times a day.

Rosie Perez was never a woman I wanted a piece of, I am only throwing this pictures up so you can see what aging does to a face as well as what it does to a set of big ol’ titties that are hanging so hard they are stretching the shit out of her skin leaving stretch marks, like a teenage girl who has grown up on genetically modified food who’ grew to a D-Cup overnight, only the opposite, because a teen with a new set of natural D’s is a beautiful thing, where as an older mexican slag with big fat tits hanging off her frame like an anorexic girl’s uterus hangs out of her box isn’t.

As the only mexican blogger, other than Perez, but he’s gay so he doesn’t count as a real person, I feel it’s my duty to properly represent my people. I know that won’t stop you from doing whatever it is you do to these pictures because you’re a pervert and these pics are the closest thing you can get to pussy.