I’ve wrote about Deanna Pappas Being a Slut before, mainly because she was on the show the Bachelorette and that’s pretty much the equivalent of postitution for the sake of TV entertainment. If anyone in your immediate circle was to date 20 dudes at the same time, only to kick one out of her life every week because he’s not a good enough fuck or his dick is too small for her gapping pussy that’s just been fucked by 20 dudes at the same time.
Either way, I think they are contractually bound to pretend they are dating for at least a year, because it adds credibility to the show, here they are in the pool in some staged steamy pics that remind me of some steamy pics I took last night, they were of my shit, it was making an S-Shape for suicide like some kind of tea leave reading, i was proud but since I don’t let my shit dictate my life, I’m still here for another day of this garbage.
Here is Sheree Murphy, some sloppy british bitch who’s worked her way out of the working class factory life and onto TV and in the process managed to land herself a soccer player to marry and have a bunch of kids with and it’s nice to see that despite the fact that she’s destroyed physically by the pregnancy, her husband is still horny enough to get busy with her in the pool for all of us to see. You know that stems from not trying to show off his trophy wife, because she’s more of a participation ribbon they give the retard kids so they don’t feel discouraged for losing, and it is sheer horniness and something you can relate to. I just hope he’s drunk because that’s really the only way I can accept this kind of behavior, like last night when we saw some fat horny Italian chick who was built for making babies, get with some random dude in a really large shirt and pretty much stood in the corner sticking her tongue down his throat and taking breaks to whisper the names of all the babies she has planned for him. The fertility almost turned me on, but the estrogen charged thighs definitely didn’t.
Stifler from American Pie gets asked about why Nick Lachey hates him in some interview and says because he fucked Jessica Simpson, I am assuming it went down when they were shooting Dukes of Hazard because otherwise I don’t see why Jessica Simpson would hang out with him, but it is possible that he told her that he was Brad Pitt or some shit, because I heard that’s the line the craft services dude used and she gave him a rim job and Johnny Knoxville go up in her because he told her that he was Elvis.
She’s probably the easiest girl to manipulate into the bedroom even when married and that just proves that you should never marry a virgin or someone who claims to be a virgin because they are either a slut hiding the truth or a slut in the making who hasn’t had a taste yet and once you give her one, she goes crazy.
I don’t know if Jessica Simpson was married to Nick Lachey for any other reason than rockin’ a TV show with him to help take both of their careers to a new Christian level and considering Nick Lachey is a poofter and likes cock not slot, I don’t really see why he’d give a shit about who she fucks but apparently he does, it must be because he has been crushing on Stifler for years and Jessica totally knew it and still went out and fucked him, knowing it would devestate Nick because life is not fair, but on the positive side of things, at least now his masturbation fantasies of Stifler can be set to Jessica’s inside scoop and description of Stifler’s dick, instead of to the pictures Nick made of Stiffler and him by cropping their faces onto hardcore gay porn pics.
For those of you who don’t read the site, which is probably all of you, you wouldn’t know that I try to keep track of all things sexual Whoopi Goldberg says on The View because that shit turns me on. There’s something magical about someone who I always thought was a man growing up watching her movies, and finding out that under those loose fitting jeans and over-sized shirt lives a vagina.
It today’s segment, Whoopi talks about how she liked sex with no strings attach when she was single, she talks about her itch getting scratched without having to be in love and just for the sake of satisfying her horniness and I couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky the fucker who got to make out with this rough-faced vixen and slide his hand up her rough-skinned thing to dick into her hot went crotch only to find a hot set of balls.
Either way, don’t masturbate too hard to this one, it is proven to cause emotional trauma and sexual confusion.
Lindsay Lohan is giving me sex eyes and I like it. I don’t think she’s as haggard as people like to say she is. She looks good and I want to fuck the Herpes out of her, unfortunately this Samantha Ronson lesbian coke-slut is cock-blocking me. She’s on my Facebook and every time I message her asking for Lohan’s phone number she ignores me. I know while she’s preventing me from stealing Lohan from her because I am substantially cooler, she’s running off her lesbian penis hating mouth to a broken down Lohan. with rants of how the penis is to blame for all your problemsand how she should turn to the pussy because it doesn’t break you down…all while feeding Lohan lines of cocaine…and cashing in on her vulnerability when her peer pressure actually leads to lickin’ Lohan pussy.
I think the highlight of these pictures is how Ronson puts her cigarette in her lesbian hat, like she can’t keep it in a pack in her pocket like the rest of the world, she’s gotta go to the next step towards lesbianism where she feels like a fuckin’ construction worker while she pulls it out from the back of her ear and into her mouth as a group of hot girls walk by and they whistle and cat-call while grabbing their balls.
The big news of the day that no one cares about is that Paris Hilton is fucking Benji Madden. He is one of the Good Charlotte Twin Sisters, the only twin sisters you don’t want to see fuckin’ each other because they actually have penises but are still gayer than fucking gay. I can assume that it all started in the womb when one of them used the other’s developing penis as a pacifier or maybe it was when they were curious teenage boys with a dream of pop stardom and a libido that couldn’t be satisfied unless each other’s dick were in their mouths….some people have blanket for comfort, like Fergie sang about, other people suck their thumbs and the maddens suck each other’s dick….maybe it’s normal, I’m not a twin.
Either way, Paris has moved in on her best friend’s baby daddy’s twin and that’s some incestuous shit. I guess when you throw your vagina at someone with a broken heart, it’s pretty hard to get rejected. Sure he is on the rebound from recently broke up with a much hotter Sophie Monk, but the real broken heart happened when his brother left him for little boy Richie and knocked her up, forcing them to only get in each other’s mouths at family functions….it’s a sad story, but not as sad as the day Paris calls him with the pregnancy test results and he finds out that he was just part of a scheme trying to outdo her friend and steal some of her glory by becoming sisters in law, instead of sisters in spirit. Maybe he can get another gay tattoo to remember this day by….because he’s that kind of loser….
So Kathleen Turner is crazier than Britney and drunker than I am. Bitch is on Larry King talking about how she hasn’t had sex in 2 years pretty much because no one has turned her on in the last 2 years since her husband left her. I wonder if she’s looked in the mirror long enough to realize that she probably hasn’t turned anyone on in the last 2 years and that’s why they haven’t turned her on…they were too busy trying to get out of the conversation and run away, that is because she hasn’t met me because I have no standards and would totally fuck her like I was romancing the stones and by stones I mean old drunk fat lady who has more money than my wife and who wouldn’t judge my drinking…..
So it turns out that Gary Coleman never banged the chick he married which makes you wonder why the fuck he married her to begin with. I figure it has to do with him not having a big enough penis, but from my experience watching midget porn, they all have bigger dicks than you, which I know isn’t saying much, but it’s saying something about you….and maybe why you don’t get laid either. But worst case scenario she could just shove his entire body in her like some reverse giving birth shit that blows reverse cowboy out of the bedroom…..
Maybe this chick is a lesbian that just wants to get into the spotlight because she knew that despite this fucker being a washed up star from the 70s with no money he still gets media attention….Maybe she has a fetish to marry and not fuck midget who she saw watching reruns of his show and decided that she would marry him when he was a washed up and poor because she has realistic expectations for herself….because marrying an actual celebrity isn’t that easy, I’ve tried.
I guess what it comes down is that she’s just a racist.
I never understood Heatherette, they are some kind of drugged up club kid tranny shit that all these celebrity bitches fell in love with and bought into and now they are making more money than anyone you know being all drugged up tranny club kid outrageousness. Either way, Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson were some of the “stars” and I used that term loosely, more loose than both of their porned up twats, who modeled for their fashion show.
I fucking hate porn bitches but I guess there’s something nice about seeing a successful mainstream pornstar and an unsuccessful amateur pornstar hanging out. It’s like seeing the Big Brothers of America teaching some homeless poor kid how to play baseball. I know they are both sluts and that they both put out for money like the street trash drug addicts I used to pay to fuck and they let the people doing them film them like it’s not a big deal which is amazing because trying to convince girls over the years to let me bust out my polaroid never really worked out for me. The best I got was a picture of one of them sleeping with part of her tit hanging out, but I even got busted for that and she destroyed it. So as I suck at life, these girls who seemingly suck at life too, also suck dick on camera and hang out at fashion shows together.
I can only assume that Jenna got casted in the part because bitch looks like a fucking tranny, and apparently Heatherette is into trannies. I love how fucking serious she’s taking this gig like it’s a fucking academy award performance or her first big break onto the fashion model scene because no matter what she does or how she does it, I will always know that she’s nothing but a broken down girl with daddy issues, who used her cunt to get ahead…a cunt that looks like she may soon be turning into a cock. Porn Bitches are trash. I’d rather see everyday girls get fucked any day. That’s the end of that.
Here are some pictures of Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson’s ex-husband who left her and ruined her by driving her into weight gain and alcohol abuse, proving that tits aren’t enough to make a girl worth living with but the potential of making millions of a reality TV show used to market the shit out of you is…either way he’s with his new girl Vanessa Minnillo and bitch is in a bikini and riding him all sexy like and shit and dude looks all uncomfortable, probably because he wishes she was his brother so that they could “wrestle”.
The whole concept of having a sexual history is fucked. You may be married, you may be in a relationship, you may have been laid once, but that doens’t change the fact that everytime you’ve thought about a girl who isn’t the one you are with, the girl you were with was thinking the same fucking thing, you know remember all the guys who fucked her better and had a bigger cock than you, so you shouldn’t feel guilty about the fantasy, trust me, your bitch is totally just setting for you…
If you may have no sexual history, you do have many masturbation experiences you can look back on to get all hot and bothered, like the time you did it in your parent’s bed, or outside in public, or in front of an open window so the neighbors could watch, or at that party in the bathroom while people were knocking, or on the roof of an abandoned building, or in the park in the rain…you know where I am going with this….
I am sure Nick still jerks off thinking about slamming Jessica, you know when he’s bored of that Vanessa box, he digs into his metal archive of every position he got his ex wife into, but he’s probably just doing the whole girl thing to get girl fans who dream about being his next love interest and the reality of the situation is that he really thinks boys is where it’s at…that’s why he shaves his chest as a notice to all the fags out there that he’ll be waiting behind the local gay bar for you….That’s why she’s so excited and he looks annoyed by the whole girl in bikini thing…cuz chicks dig fags.
I know you all think I am a racist, so notice that I didn’t say she looks Aboriginal.
So I posted about some Girls Gone Wild bitch who claimed she was a virgin and that Joe Francis raped her a long time ago. The post can be found HERE , ignore all the spam in my comments…it happens.
Anyway, I was checking my email and I got some inside scoop on the slut that I felt like I needed to post. I can only assume it’s her friend trying to get more buzz going about her in hopes of landing a porn video gig or a penthouse magazine spread, but I’ll still post it because I never get any scoop and when I do, it makes me feel like a real media company….and sometimes pretending you’re not a waste of internet space is a good thing….
So, I just recently came across an article in the L.A. times about Jannel Syzyska, and about how Joe Francis “raped her”.
I used to be pretty good friends with Jannel, (in the early pre-whore days - seventh grade to be exact.) but when an unfortunate incident involving her and her friend Kaitlyn stealing my underwear occurred, we lost touch, so to say.
Then last year, one of my friends became close friends with Jannel, and I started showing up to parties that she happened to be at and so on..
So Jannel and I got kind of close again, and she revealed to me everything about her, one tidbit being that she had lost her virginity in April to some guy she doesn’t even remember. And she revealed that she did not want to have sex with anybody for a long time because of the fact that she had had sex with quite a few guys since then…
So when I finally did come across this yesterday, I was shocked. I’ve lost touch with her since the beginning of last June.. but in November of last year I had seen her a few times through a mutual friend.. and she had told me that she “went on girls gone wild and masturbated for the camera.” However, she said that she had HAD SEX with Joe Francis, not that he “raped her.”
I know I’m quite late on a story like this.. but I figured I would set the record straight (as if it hadn’t been set straight enough) that she did have sex with him, he did not rape her, and she was not a virgin.
I had no idea that she was all over the internet with her “rape story” or I would have definitely set that straight sooner.
Yes, Joe Francis isn’t the epitomy of class and charm.. but I’m sure he has the opportunity to have sex with much better looking girls without forcing them. So why he would even force sex onto someone like Jannel is baffling.
I don’t know why I felt compelled to write you this e-mail when it was so long ago, and you probably won’t read or respond really, but that enrages me that she would seek fame that much to make up stories.
Thanks for your time and sorry to rant, but I just had to.
I guess this is a total fucking stretch, but since I am a fucking pervert, I have no problem taking pictures of girls leaving events and turning them into porn, I’d say it was a talent, but I think it may actually be a bit of a disorder.
After actually cropping the pictures like a migrant worker, which is pretty much what I am, I realized that she isn’t even really making sex faces, she just looks better than usually because she isn’t flexing. I really have no problem with a toned body, I actually find that shit hot because a girl who takes care of her abs and hits the gym on the regular, usually maintains her stinky parts so that they don’t stink.
I have a friend at the park who is completely obsessed with girls who have stinky poons. He thinks that shit is sexy, like it’s how a girl is supposed to smell. He’s dated girls and made them not shower for weeks at a time to get the stink that really drives him crazy. I was pretty disgusted by it because despite not showering myself, I got issues with other people stinking especially when that other person is who I am banging, but reality is that I guess we are animals and we probably didn’t shower when we lived in caves and maybe the stinkiest cunt was actually the most desirable one because we could sniff that shit out from a mile away and knock the bitch up, knowing she was the whore monkey who wanted babies.
I guess that isn’t really the point of this post, the post is the Jessica Biel is probably drunk and since every girl I ever got with was fucked up one way or another, maybe those glazed eyes and greasy face are what I equate to a good fucking time….
