Jessica Alba is ashamed because she knows what she did was wrong and if you don’t know what I am talking about it’s pretty fucking simple. She was involved with this dude Cash Warren, they broke up, he went off to do whatever he does and she ran after him. Being a dude, he fell for the break-up sex, thinking she was on her Birth Control pill or using a condom bitch didn’t poke a hole into and she miraculously got pregnant. Being the good guy he is, he decided it was his duty to walk her through this and try to be together again, despite knowing she did something crazy to lock him in….so it’s just a matter of time before Alba is a single mother working 2 jobs, bringing home random men in hopes of finding a father figure and someone to do the “man jobs” around the house and cuddle her lonely, needy ass at night….

Then again, I could be wrong because I did totally fabricated this story in my paranoid head, but I think it’s the truth and that’s all that matters to me…..