Rihanna is wearing a barely see through shirt with no bra and you can kinda make out her nipple ring if you really try and I don’t really see anything exciting about this shit because you have to have some serious virgin goggles to make out her nipples. I guess the point of this is to say that I still like Rihanna and the choices she makes when she goes out clubbing, maybe next time, she’ll sprawl out and insert two fingers in herself to make the pictures worth posting, I know this post is shit, but I’ve been laying low the last few weeks and have nothing to write about this second.
Her name is Patsy Kensit and she is a nobody who married the dude in Oasis when he was at the height of her career which pretty much means she’s still a nobody, because Oasis died a long time ago, but since she’s out and the paparazzi care enough to take pictures of her tits. I guess whenever I go out, which is almost never, and a girl shows me her tits I always try to get pictures of it. Unfortunately for me, it turns out that strip clubs don’t like cameras very much and beat you up for trying to capture the moment to share with your loved ones when they ask for what you’ve been up to…..
Either way, I guess she’s never given up and that’s something I like to tell strippers to keep their morale up, but usually only at the end of my lap dances when I’ve run out of money….but that’s just because I want them to keep on going….but they usually take it as some kind of inspirational words of wisdom that helps them live with themselves for being whores….whores who have now had their tits seen by less people that this Patsy Kensit character. I guess she’s like the Den Mother now…
The good news of the day is that Patricia Heaton decided to put on a shirt at the beach like a fat teenage girl on summer vacation. After seeing her over-tucked tummy tuck that amputated her belly button, I think it was a good beach fashion choice, not that I know anything about fashion. She also decided to put on a pair of better fitting bikini bottoms that offer a little more support to her saggy vagina and I am all for girls strapping up when shit is clearly needed.
Kinda like the time this girl was acting up in my apartment, so I strapped her to my bed….it made having sex with her a hell of a lot easier because it took very little convincing and the sock I stuffed down her throat made her cries for me to stop sound a lot more like whimpers of pleasure, like she was actually enjoying it. I figure if I don’t hear “No” or “Stop” clearly, then it’s all fair game….or maybe like the time my wife put on some kind of corset and pantyhose to make her look skinny, when what she really needed to look skinny was a year membership at the gym and a serious diet.
Watching the Britney disaster may be like watching a bad made for TV movie that never ends and you’re probably all bored of it, but you’re wife forces you to keep watching and that is because she is a bored housewife who is bored of life and bored with you so this gives her something to occupy her time and something to talk about with her other bored housewife friends who also bore their husbands with it.
But watching her breasts in a see-through shirt during her craziness is like watching the nature channel. Her floppy tits aiming to the ground remind me of a crazed Gorilla trying to escape being held captive against its will, all we’re missing is the baby gorilla suckin’ on them tits…but I guess that’s because the big bad zoo keeper took little babies away, which is too bad, because otherwise this would be porn to me.
Here are some recent Leelee Sobieski ruining a bikini moment by covering herself up in some kind of shirt as she walks her dog.
This reminds me of the big breasted girl who was sitting next to me on the bus who I couldn’t get enough of because of her big breasts and not because she had much else to offer the world. When I looked over her shoulder to get a better look down her shirt like the pervert I am, I noticed she was reading something off her palm pilot and when I zeroed in on that shit, hoping it was some Harlequin style erotica that was making her wet in her panties while I watched her tits bounce, it turned out to be some digital palm version of the bible. Usually when a girl reads the bible on the bus, she’s not the kind of girl who would give you a handjob in a back alley, she’s the kind of girl who would lecture you on how morally wrong handjobs are, so when she stood up at her stop and I saw her oversized Hanes her Way bunched up at the top of her pants like she was one of those party sluts and shit was a G-String I realized that the last time she thought about sex was when she found out where babies come from when she was 5 and that’s about as hot as Leelee Sobieski is in these pictures.
I like british people, because they always stand out like a coldsore at beaches around the world. When I was a little younger, I worked as a janitor at a Club Med. I know it doesn’t sound that glamourous, but I figured if I am gonna be a janitor anywhere, it might as well be on a beach somewhere. I guess the benefit of the experience was that the single women thought the “Maintenance” crew were there to act out porno fantasies with them. You know, these crazy bitches with a little money, who run off with their kids on a family vacation, with hopes of giving a serious pooning to someone with brown skin. Anyway, I only did it for a season, but the point of this post is that British travellers on the beach don’t fit in. They are pastey and usually wearing a fuckin’ snowsuit as to not get a sun burn. Evangeline Lily’s boyfriend is no acception to the rule, even though he lives in Hawaii, motherfucker stills swims with his shirt on, unless it’s a way to cover up some deformity, like a third nipple, or no nipples, or anything that involves the nipple.
