Here are some pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears wearing a bit more clothes than she was when she got into this whole mess that she doesn’t think is a mess because she’s a good little child of God and abortions don’t exist in her world, but unprotected premarital sex does, which is kind of hypocritical if you ask me, which you didn’t because my opinion doesn’t really matter.

I fuckin’ love teenage pregnancy and every teenage girl I have ever accidentally knocked up has had abortions, but that was pretty much my doing because I didn’t want the burden, lawsuit, jail time or commitment to a fat lonely girl with daddy issues who turned to me to fill her void and all it really took was a good punch to the stomach. You’d be surprised how fragile a uterus actually is….. I always thought they’d be a hell of a lot more resilient.

Either way, I like to think whoever got her knocked up fucked up, because she was just starting her career up and hasn’t had enough time to really peak in her career. I predict it’s all down hill from here, because I’ve seen young girls bounce back pretty well from this kind of thing, but they never fully bounce back. Not to mention how annoying it will be on the set of her next movie when she keeps having to stop to feed her baby while studying for her GED.

The good news is that this is a story of trash that we all get to take part in, because teenage pregnancy usually happens in small towns with girls no one really cares for and the only people who get to laugh about it are their neighbors and people in their class. Now the whole world gets to take part in the fun of something as beautiful as a kid giving birth to a kid because she decided she wasn’t a kid the night she was letting an older dude shove his unprotected dick in her and cum inside her because she didn’t take sex ed classes while being tutored on set and had no idea the implications of her actions. Good times….

Here are some Hilary Duff in shorts and a cleavage exposing shirt because I think she’s lookin’ better than she has pretty much ever looked, maybe it’s because she’s usually with her sister and that makes her hot by comparison because her sister is a fucking wreck. That would be like putting me next to my wife and saying that I am skinny, when in reality if you put me next to a normal sized person it looks like I’ve been stealing their food since we were kids. I saw this bitch at a Montreal club appearance and she wasn’t hot in person.

Paris is going to be in Montreal hosting a shitty party and I want to be there. I want her to take me out for dinner and I want to get her to flash me her box in person. I have no way of getting in because shitty bars designed don’t like me and my obesity, sweatpants and stench…so if any one of you three fuckers are some how connected to Paris, make it happen.

Does anyone have Paris Hilton’s number? Since the last one I had has been leaked I haven’t been able to reach out to her and tell her my problems. I do still have Stavros’ number that still works, but he doesn’t answer me anymore. I asked him to get me in the VMAs the day of the VMAs but said something like “I bet you have enough trouble getting yourself in to hook me up”….not that I would have gone, but I figure you gotta pretend you’re important to these kinds of people.

He ended up taking offense and throwing a little fit, I guess being the some of some shipping billionaire makes you a spoiled whining baby….he said something like “Don’t message me if you don’t have anything nice to say man” or something to that effect. I responded telling him that he’s banged every girl I’ve ever wanted too and that I bet it was worth the herpes….and I think that ended or Greek phone love affair.

In reality I don’t know why I bother even asking you, in my fantasies at least one of you has a job walking her dogs or waxing her cunt or something but even if you did, I can barely keep you interested enough in this site to comment, so even if you were somehow connected to her, you’d never hook me up…but I guess you don’t get what you want if you don’t try…this is the extent of me trying.