I guess one of the good things about 15 year old girls is that they don’t have cellulite like they will when they actually become women, but they are so annoying when all they want to watch is Hannah Montana reruns, especially when they are Hannah Montana.

I don’t find anything appealing about these pictures, other than knowing that bitch is probably the next in line for an abortion at the on studio abortion clinic they are rockin’ over at Disney and this bitch and her crooked smile don’t have shit on the 15 year old girls I see out in clubs dancing on the bar like they were 25 and lookin’ for a one night stand because I was out at a bar this past weekend and this girl with braces walks up to the girl next to me and brags about how she got into the club and didn’t get carded, I turn to her and ask how old she is and she says 13 and runs off to a group of 16 year old dudes who pour Grey Goose down her throat and get her to flash them her panties and I realize that I was born in the wrong generation and Paris Hilton deserves a little more credit that she’s getting for breeding a generation of herpes by 14 that I won’t be a part of because I’m just too damn old and will just have to accept the fact that it’s yet another thing I’ve missed out on in my life which is just another example of how Paris Hilton contributed to my miserable life…..

I’ve decided that Haiti is my kind of country. Not because I am black or because I speak their obscure language, or because I am a taxi driver, but because motherfucker’s are poor and I feel like it’s a place I could feel like Kanye West on my wife’s disability check.

Either way, they recruit a hot washed up model to do charity because she’s only washed up from being caught in the Tsunami and shit killed her boyfriend, it’s pretty obvious that she’s still got it going on in a mail bride kinda way, unlike me, which is why I’d do good in Haiti. I feel like they’d appreciate my work ethic.

I was lookin’ at the pics of Petra Nemcova propped up so everyone could see her hot Eastern European ass pretending to support them, because it’s a good PR move for her celebrity and they are using collapsable chairs as the stage because that’s how classy Haiti is. It’s more ghetto than the shit I used to sit on in AA and broke through because I am fat, or the milk crate I use as a desk, or the box I use as my dinning room table next to my stained mattress I found outside 2 summers ago.

Either way, it’s nice to see her supporting black people with her charity that she started, I am sure more black people will bust nut thinking of her than ever before and there nothing wrong with using your money for good, because I know, if I ever had money, I’d only help myself get more drunk than I already do and on a more regular basis while sitting on a beach surrounded by hookers, but I’m just not a good of a person and karma likes to remind me of that every chance it gets, by never giving me money to get drunk on beaches with hookers….

Here are some pictures of Britney with her Magician boyfriend who she is either keeping close incase her career bombs and she needs to pull a Pam Anderson and rely on being the slut in a Magician act, or because she’s lonely and likes the attention. It’s kinda her thing to let dudes use her to get themselves famous…even when they are magicians and for anyone who knows a Magician, they now the best thing to do is keep them as far away from their kids as possible because anyone with so little social skills that they need props to “wow” a room of 10 year olds, is someone who is probably just as likely to try to hide in the girls locker room of the elementary school to sneak a peak.

I got this email from a reader along with these pics of Spears and her Magic Man and figured I’d throw it up because it’s one of those too good to be true situations that I’ve never had because I suck at life and never get any breaks….

Subject: Sleazebag Christmas of the day

Here I was engaged in my usual 5pm routine of drinking cheap, shitty beer and wishing I was any other place besides sitting in front of my computer, when someone knocked on my door.

Reluctantly I got up, a little nervous about the fact that there was still a pretty thick cloud of chronic smoke in front of the door to my filthy, stinking, rathole apartment. Stealthfully, like a drunken ninja, I checked the peephole to see a strange looking guy holding two bottles of liquor. Seems legit to me.

So I opened the door and it turns out the dude is my new next door neighbor, offering to sell me a freshly thieved fifth of Jack for 5 bucks. Now I don’t know where you live, but here in Albuquerque, a bottle of Jack will run you about 20 bucks. Weíre talking cheap ass liquor here, people. So Iím fucking stoked. I nabbed the bottle and retreated into my cave to down a couple of shots. Yeah, pretty ghetto. But you gotta understand I live in a shitty-ass section 8 ex-PJ turned wannabe legit apartment complex. Just check out the fabulous google reviews: Copper Ridge Apartments

So naturally the next order of business is a cigarette back outside on my porch. The neighbor girl opens up her door and comes out, telling me she’s about to move and that sheís stopped taking her meds. I try to contain myself but instinctively I ask if she’s got anything she doesn’t want anymore. She’s like “oh yeah, hold on” and goes back into her apartment and produces two bottles of pills ñ Valium and Ambien. Free of charge, folks. Truly, a Sleazebag Christmas in September…

I’m including these pictures of Britney and Cris Angel here because Britney, when Cris was busy magically cajooling underaged girls with tricks, he probably lived in an even bigger shit hole that I do.

Sincurrrly,

Sean O’Donnell
STEPbrother

As you sit at home practicing your card tricks because it’s your last hope in having any form of social interaction and the hope of possibly impressing a girl enough to have her bang you, I am going to post these pics cuz Britney has a short skirt on and with a short skirt comes endless possibilities beyond just airing out her stank vadge, and since I have no standards, I’d totally do her….