there’ really nothing interesting going on right now, been surfing the internet and nothing interesting is coming up, but I was sent this video about some teenage girl in the UK who wants breast implants even though she’s probably 16. I guess it’s a testament to how awesome big tits are, or maybe the influence of all those UK glamor models having careers based on their big tits making 14 year olds feel inadequate and despite hating fake tits, this does give me confidence that the world is going in the right direction……
The real issue is obviously the parents, they give their kids too much freedom like this one mom saying she thinks her daughter is old enough to make decisions about her body for herself, even if the girl isn’t fully developed and that not being developed really makes perverts more aroused versus the fake tits they see at stripclubs constantly, anyone can have those, but only 15 year olds can have teenage titties, so why ruin a good thing, I guess because you’re a whore in training and this is phase one….or whatever….either way, watch the video, blame Jordan, Gemma Atkinson and them other slags who have proven today that despite popular belief, they aren’t entirely useless…..
I don’t know who these twins are and I don’t really care because I got a fucking finger shoved in my ass toay and I am not really in the mood to use google, for fear that I may land on images of prostate exams being administered, which is never a good thing for me, because girls don’t have a fucking prostate, not that I ever tell them that for fear that they’ll catch onto my lie that is “lookin’ for cancer, since it’s pretty fuckin’ common” to get up in there in the first place and I’d hate my strategy to be let out of the fucking bag.
Either way, these girls look like they are down with anal, I mean all girls who were raised in Hollywood with dreams of fame are, and if they happen to be the only two who aren’t then I bet they are definitely down with showering together, because they are sisters after all and it’s only natural and that’s good enough for me, because they aren’t all that hot as one, but pretty fucking glorious as a tag team.
I don’t know if you remember Ecko, they kinda fell off the map about 5 or 6 years ago when they started selling the shit in Wal Mart or places like Wal Mark and homeless people like me started rockin’ our Rhino sweatshirts because our wives thought they were cute and were the only thing under 20 dollars in the store that fit our overweight selves, not because we were hip hop or trying to maintain street cred, but because we were lazy and it was convenient.
It looks like they are making their way back onto the scene and they are drawing attention in the oldest way possible and that is with hot sluts in bikinis, showing off their asses, pretending to be making jeans, despite knowing the truth that these jeans were probably made in China, Indonesia or wherever else they make jeans these days, but who really cares about the sweatshops, unless of course they look like this.
Now do me a favor and email Ecko letting them know I promoted them for free because after Diesel’s SFW Porn ad was such a big hit, I figured I had to keep bringing the goods. I’d insert the link to the Diesel SFW porn clip, but that’s what the search bar is for, do it yourself you lazy pig.
In case you didn’t know, Adrian Grenier’s girlfriend was in the car with Shai LeBeef when he had his drunk driving accident, leading the world to believe she’s fuckin’ that little troll’s useless cock, while probably being a huge blow to Adrian Grenier’s ego, because let’s face it, whenever a girl I bang goes with someone fuckin’ lame after being with me, I take personal offense and even think for a minute that maybe I am delusional and maybe this fucker is a step up from me and that I just think he’s a loser because I am jealous that she’s fucking someone who isn’t me, but probably not because I don’t believe in jealousy and what I find lame is not what girls find lame, so in the end it all makes sense and I end up marrying the first fat lonely chick who comes along, because I figure I am older and I don’t want to be alone and that she’s going to always be there for me through thick and thin because she’s older and doesn’t want to be alone either, even though she’s not anything I ever wanted to marry and is probably something I wouldn’t even notice walking down the street, but she’s mine, I’ve settled and this post is depressing me, let me switch it up….
So Adrian Grenier has dumped the LeBeef girl, and was spotted paddle surfing, the gayest sport out there with 3 chicks in their bikinis, and last time I checked, 3 girls on your dick is better than one, so while his ex is out with some Hollywood loser, Grenier’s showin’ her than shit don’t matter and he’s going to make the best of this freedom, you cheating, lying, useless piece of ass who is just trying to advance your own career and it will all backfire, because there’s a lot hotter more talented pussy out there than you.
Here are some pictures of Rachel Bilson swimming in her dress. I know local girls who do that shit here, usually because they are fat and trying to distract you from seeing their fat or because they are pregnant and don’t want you to know they have out of wedlock, unprotected sex with dudes from Canada who are in the new Star Wars trilogy…
I am convinced that the only reason people try to become famous, pick up a guitar, start writing songs or movies, or start acting classes is not because of the passion for the art, or even for the money because there’s really no guarantee things will work out to make you money, but 100 percent for the pussy. It’s like even if you’re some loser rocker who plays local bars, or some shitty actor in local car dealership commercials, or even if you’re a male model for your friend’s clothing shitty t-shirt company, there will be girls willing to bang you because you are seemingly more important that the other dude that’s trying to get their pussy.
That’s why seeing James Blunt with sluts sucking each other’s tits, riding his friends, or simulating doggy style like some kind of private spring break party, doesn’t really come as a surprise, it’s easy fuckin’ pickings for this weird lookin’ clown because he’s a star and even your wife would throw her vagina to get with him because he writes songs strictly to remove panties. So whether these pics are new or not doesn’t really matter, because I am just posting them to remind you where you’ve gone wrong in your life.
I am not a racist, I am not going to say that any part of the song is appropriate for the video. I am going to say that some people have some pretty sick fetishes and when I look at scantily clad fat chicks, no matter what their ethnic background is, I feel like someone down the line has given them some bad advice. Those people are usually perverts who can’t get pussy or weirdos who had fat moms and think that’s how women are supposed to look and make them feel good about being pigs, but all I want to do is lock my fuckin’ fridge to the ground or some shit, for fear that these pigs won’t take the time to open it to see what’s inside and just down the whole fuckin’ thing whole and when that’s done, they’ll move to the couch and eat that too. On their way down the street for their after meal walk, they’ll swallow every chick that crosses their path and still have room for desert. These bitches are fatter than Perez, but then again so am I and so is my wife, and you don’t see me walking around showing off my balls, even though I should….
I guess none of this matters and that I am still drunk, but know that whatever the fuck’s going on in this video, it’s fuckin’ wrong except for maybe their huge tits, but that’s just because I know how to focus my attention to what’s really important and that’s all I have to say about that.
These pictures have been going around for the last couple of days and I decided to post them. They are pretty tame and remind me of pretty much any bitch who thinks she’s hot on myspace, but are of the Sacramento Kings’ dancers acting like boring and typical party sluts. It is not all that surprising that a group of cheesy bitches who want to be cheerleaders for professional team in the first place would show off their bodies or thongs like the tacky bitches they are because showing off their asses when that’s pretty much what they do for a living.
Now if these girls were anything like the party sluts I know, they’d be doing a choo-choo train on their knees with each other’s faces buried in the ass of the girl in front of them, but then again, the party sluts I know are prostitutes….and charge for that.
I was walking home at around 8am from the Coke party on Friday night and I stopped in at the grocery store to grab some juice or something, but ended up being way too high to even remember what I went in there for and just walked up and down the aisles hoping I would remember. That happens to me alot. I heard a bit of a commotion at the front of the store, so went up to check things out, cause I’m nosey like that. There was some old bum freaking out about one thing or another, and had the attention of the managers and the clerks, while his buddy was behind them filling his coat with whatever he could get his hands on. Brilliant.
This was going on for awhile, until finally the Manager noticed me just standing there staring at them all, and I snapped out of it, not sure how long I had even been there. I couldn’t remember why I went in there in the first place and it got really awkward really fast, so just decided to leave before they caught on to the scam. I don’t really steal, but I’m not about to knock anyone’s hustle either, and I thought it was pretty clever, so I didn’t want to blow their cover.
Here’s Paris, fresh from a hard days work at her local soup kitchen. I’m really glad she is making good on her promises to do make more of herself and life in general. Doing all that charity work at LA nightclubs and the beach must be pretty tiring. She should really take a vacation or something.
I’ve been sitting on this whore post for a few days, because it involves maybe outing a celebrity, and I’m pretty sure Jesus’ legal team consists of himself and a homeless guy he dresses up in suit he stole from the Thrift Shop. So when we get to the juice, I’m gonna treat this as a Blind Item.
Last week me and Dutch friend went from bar to bar rubbing up against losers for drinks as they drooled over our tits, then we would split. We finally landed at a rooftop bar where these Spanish cunts were all to happy to foot the bill. I got the short one with a shaved head (free drinks, bottom line) who claimed he was an architect. Shaved Head kept pointing to this ridiculous building he worshipped, a glass eyesore i call ‘the place where cubicles go to die.’ Dutch friend got the hotter metrosexual.
The conversation rolled around to me talking about Cruise’s gay rumors, because fucking and celebrities are my life. If only I could combine the two… Suddenly Shaved Head gets coy, saying his fag-model friend blows some huge actor. He won’t tell. I move in closer, put my hand on his chest, make a guess. I press my body up against his, guess. I nibble his ear, guess. I teasingly kiss the side of his mouth, guess. I snake my hand down to his crotch, stroke it, guess. Shit I am FRUSTRATED. So I just lay one long, wild kiss on this bitch and graze his tonsels with my tongue. He spills it. Let’s just say this allegedly “likes being sucked off by gay Spanish models” actor got his start alongside very vocal fastfood and likes canines.
NOW, I think Shaved Head is a liar for the following reasons: 1) I checked every board and there’s never been a gay rumor about this actor, 2) I named every hot piece in Hollywood so Shaved Head had to think of someone after i raped his face, 3) guys will invent anything to plow your pussy, and 4) this actor is a womanizer and has dated many non-beard, hot actresses.
My take: who gives a shit anyway, a blow is a blow, it’s all just mouth and penis. And I worship this legend either way…. The night ends with the Spanish cunts dragging us to some bar they promise has sangria. We stop at traffic lights for heavy petting and sucking face. We get there and the bar is closed, but suspiciously near his apartment. Me and Dutch friend decline because they weren’t hot or fun enough to slam, and we weren’t getting anymore free drinks out of these bastards.
Now you know I love gossip, and i know you have naughty school girl fantasies. So here is Blake Lively (”…Traveling Pants”) and Taylor Momsen (?) looking oh-so Catholic school on the set of the new flick “Gossip Girls.” Based on these pics, I imagine their characters are pretty slutty. So you Canadians can beat off to both Taylor and Blake, since they are both of age in your country. Americans, you’re only allowed to pleasure yourself with Blake because she is the only one legal in this country. But that never stoped you with Hayden Panetierre.
Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)
Sugar Nell wrote a fantastic post to go along with these photos, but I have head splitting migraine and in my own confusion, deleted the fucking thing like a retard. I was so mad I hit my computer, and it shut off and didnt turn back on for a little bit. Also brilliant.
You so you get 9 photos (which aren’t even that hardcore, man I hate halfway dykes), and no Related Posts, and I get to curl up in bed and die, or at least sleep for a bit of the afternoon. Which ever comes first.
Well here is Jennifer Ellison at some event or another exuding what I can only describe as pure class. You can practically see it oozing from her pores. You’ve heard of a wolf in sheeps clothing? Well Jennifer here is a whore in whores clothing.
I never really went through that period in my life where I dressed like a whore yet and I don’t think I am going to, mostly because if my mother or Jesus ever saw me leave the house like that they would kick the shit out of me, straight up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for short skirts and high heeled fuck me boots that go up to my knee, but I’m not for old men yelling at me out their car windows asking “Hey baby, how much?” either, you know? That’s more Sugar Nell’s department if anything, and I like to leave professional jobs to professionals.
I did learn at a young age that I can pretty much get anything I want from men based on my looks, but I know how girls are that do that shit and I don’t roll like that. I’m not even talking about fucking for money here, I’m talking about bitches who arent even gold diggers they just like some idiot to take them out so they dont have to pay for shit, and go to fancy restaurants that usually suck anyways. They don’t fuck for $400, they fuck for dinner and a movie. They are the bargain basement store prostitutes. I tried it a few times and hated myself after for it, not because I hurt some guys feelings and made him cry (that part was funny) but cause I know in my heart that unlike Jennifer Ellison here, I ain’t no $2 hooker.
Sara Harding is some Brit Pop star who, according to the tabloids, loves the sauce, and whatever else she can get her hands on in terms of mind altering substances. Check out the mug on the guy shes with. Remember what I was just saying about hot girls dating guys that under normal circumstances they could never, ever get with?
Sara Harding could really be any other girl from America. She gets dressed up to go out to the bar with her friends, being sure her orange tan is at just the right hue, she has enough foundation that her face looks like plastic. Oh, and I forgot dress so short you can almost see her ass cheeks.
Once at the bar, she drinks way more then she can handle, pukes in the bathroom twice and then heads out for more shots. She dances on the dance floor waving her arms in the air, because for some fucking reason drunk girls think they look really, really hot when they do that. Finally she goes home with whatever random dude happens to be left over at the end of the night, in this case, that lucky bloke she’s making out with.
I bet when they woke up the next morning, he probably said I love you, and she had to call her publicist to do damage control and say hes just an old friend or some shit. I’d call her a whore, but at least whores get paid.
Related Posts
I am – Jenna Jameson Slutting at Some Party of the Day GO
I am – Alessandra Ambrosio Slutting Out of the Day GO
So it looks like fatass is gone, and it’s just me and the four of you losers until he gets back, lucky me. Thanks for the emails you guys have been sending, its good to know you’re reading. Of course I know it’s just cause you’re all still virgins, and think maybe scoring with an 18 year old will be easy.
Here’s Kim Kardishian, doing what shes does best, which is nothing. Every highschool has a girl like Kim. Drop dead gorgeous but living in the shadow of her manipulitive, popular-for-no-reason best friend (yes, thats you Paris!), who she is also prettier then. She’s forced to follow her friend around, maybe carry her books to class, get the seconds of guys that her friend didn’t want andother stuff like that. But hey at least she’s popular kinda right? She gets to sit at the cool table in the cafeteria!!!
My art teacher is pretty cool and when I told him I was helping Jesus run the blog while he was gone, he told me this quote by Andy Warhol, something about how in the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. I started thinking about that when I walked home that day and it kind of stuck with me. What kind of a crazy world are we living where merely being friends with somebody famous can make you a star too? Then I realized it’s just like highschool. You run around to be seen with the right crowd, you have wear the right clothes or everyone hates you, and the girls that are sluts get the most attention. So Hollywood is just like Highschool, though I think Hollywood may have better food.
Bronques is some hipster photographer who moved to NYC to launch a career. He ended up documenting the dirty drug filled nighlife of the city, with dirty looking girls acting like trash while thinkin’ they are fabulous cuz that’s what hipsters do. He built up a reputation and now probably makes more money than you, drinks more free drinks than you, scores more free yay than you, travels to more exclusive places than you, attends more exclusive parties than you and sees more exclusive tits than you. Bronques is profiting on the American Apparel/Vice Magazine/Electro Music movement, if you can call that shit a movement, and is very “hot” right now, if a bi-sexual black guy is ever hot. Anyway, nigger’s got some pics for a couple of Sundance Parties on his site, I am sure they are celebrity filled - I am just too useless to spot a celebrity. So do the work for me, assholes.
