I think I hate Spiderman. I was never into comics, cuz I liked vagina. I was never into comic book movies because I liked vagina. I have been forced to watch shit like Superman, Batman and even Spiderman at times I was trying to get vagina, but I never made the choice to see one of these movies on my own, it was always to please someone else who had a vagina. I have been seeing the major promo kick for this movie all over the place with premieres in China and other places around the world, I know that the studio is trying to make this a huge blockbuster smash, and it probably will be one, because there are a lot of virgins who like comics out there and thanks to them, their 10 dollars will line the pockets of asshole movie producers that will never give me a stepfather movie but will instead make shit like Spiderman 4. I will just never end and I blame you….

Whenever I get stressed out thinking about these people making more of these movies, I like to slip into a day dream of what life would be like, if Spiderman worked the streets of my city, dancing and panhandling by day and ridding the world of crime at night by drinking himself into the gutter he’ll crawl out of the next day to go back to the streets and dance some more, using his Spidey Suit to keep him warm on those cold winter nights at the homeless shelter. Here’s the video.

The real Spiderman 3 hits theatres on Friday.