Marisa Miller was on Letterman to promote the SI Swimsuit Edition talking about when she found out she was on the cover, body painting and other really life changing stuff like being fully shaved. It’s not very exciting but since she’s a bigger deal now than she was a week ago. Someone told me that she had breast implants but she claims she’s never had surgery. Maybe that’s some kind of covering her ass situation but from lookin’ at her tits I am going to go with real. None of this really matters, what does matter is that they cut to her billboard. So watch it them legs in action….

People hate going to movies to me, which is expected because people generally hate doing anything with me, but they specifically hate going to movies with me because I gripe and groan about all the shitty jokes being thrown in my face while the rest of the theatre laughs and the more laughs the movie gets the more pissed off I get. People call me a joke snob because I write this site and they think that I think I am the funniest motherfucker and no one can compete and that when I watch the movies I get bitter because these hacks are making millions while I am sitting on my shitty Salvation Army couch. The truth is that I am not really a joke snob, I don’t think I am funnier than these famous motherfuckers, I don’t think that I could do better than them, because if I could I probably would be. I just don’t laugh, because I am broken on the inside.

Here are some Heidi Klum acting a fool with not so funnyman Will Farrell doing some stupid photoshopped to shit photoshoot for SI, but Heidi Klum proves that with a little photoshop, having kids isn’t always so destructive to your body, but I guess none of us really know the damage Seal’s done to her box with her African Warrior spear he keeps hidden in his singing pants.

I walked into a coffee shop earlier today and I sat next to two middle aged mothers who were on some kind of gossip date. They were talking about their friend who caught her husband fucking a hooker in a motel room after following him around all night because she didn’t trust his shit. They started off bitching about how sick of a person the husband was for doing what he did and then one of them went off about the whore calling her job disgusting. She said something like “I don’t know how a woman does it?” or some shit and I pulled out a 5 dollar bill, walked up to her and told her that I could show her. She didn’t laugh and told me to fuck off so I guess prostitution isn’t so easy, even though we’re all whores in our own way. Like I am a whore to this website. I’ve been sitting here waiting for this programmer to give me something to work with and I couldn’t figure out what else to do with myself and I don’t even get $5 everytime I suck it’s dick….

Either way, here are the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue with Marisa Miller on the cover. You’ve probably already seen them already- but I felt obligated to post them regardless because just because the site is down, doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to do posts. Yes, my life is that depressing and the real depressing thing is that I am even more depressed without the site than with it.

Marisa Miller

Marisa Miller Body Painted

Ana Beatriz Barros

Bar Rafaeli

Brooklyn Decker

Daniella Sarahyba

Jeisa Chiminazzo

Jessica Gomes

Selita Ebanks

There are a hell of a lot more pictures out there. Just buy the magazine you cheap fuck.