I know you fuckers are into hard rock, death metal and other things that you can listen to while breaking things and masturbating while crying at the same time, but this song was just sent to me and it made me and my wife dance together. The truth is that I don’t dance, especially with my pig of a wife, but the artist is named Empire Isis, she’s out of Montreal, she’s been making music for a long time and she’s just turned down a deal with Interscope, has won a ton of awards and is produced by Prayon who is the same dude who does beats for Beyonce, G-Unit and Sean Paul. They are onto big things and you’ll be hearing a lot more from her in the next few months so I figured I’d be the one to release the tune. I’m an opportunist like that.
This is a Stepfather exclusive to start your day and I approve of Empire Isis so you should too.
Listen to the track : Empire Isis - Don’t Go Home (Dirty)
This band is called Operator and this song is called Soulcrusher. I have never heard of either but that’s okay, because I am am not a music blogger, all I do know is that I seem to only post tits or pictures of girls who have tits and this video, that I watched on mute, because my speakers are broken has lots of tits in it. That is pretty much all I need to determine whether it’s worth watching. The lead singer is some actor IMBD HIM
I like that things are moving in the tit direction, taking on porno elements in the mainstream, because I am tired of getting rejected from advertising deals because I post tits, while this band will only become famous because they post tits. Since I’ve never heard of them, I’ll call this another BUCKCHERRY situation, where I crashed their fucking servers, and helped make a case to get them signed by inflating their internet video popularity, and I never saw a fucking dollar for it.
I didn’t even land an interview with them or free tickets to their show…I don’t even think I got their CD, that I probably would have taken a shit on because their music fucking sucks, but I do know that they don’t give a fuck about how bad their music is while they are fucking whores in the bathroom of their million dollar tour buses that I got people to piss on…
Either way…Operator, I just made you famous, Bitch.
Grover’s magic touch is slowly fading. I am not here to be a dick to people helping me out, but seriously, what happened to the failed musician living in a cabin in the woods, teaching music at the local high school. What the fuck’s this shit about watching VH1….guys in Cabins don’t watch VH1….and if they do, they don’t talk about it….where’s the wisdom and bitterness? Anyways, here’s what he had to say:
I was watching VH1 Classic last night and one of those horrible Aerosmith videos came on. You know, the ones with Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstein. I don’t really have a problem with either of those girls, but I do have a problem with Steven Tyler. Sure, that guy has gotten laid a lot more than I have, but at least I’m not a homosexual skeleton freakshow that knocked up his own daughter. Rockstars get away with EVERYTHING.
Alicia Silverstein was in Clueless and since The Smoking Popes are the best Chicago band of all tiem and they were on the Clueless Soundtrack, I sort of like her by association. Actually, I’m giving her WAY too much credit.
The Smoking Popes mp3’s Right Click And Save Target - To Keep ‘Em
Bonus - Some Britany Murphey Shopping at Kitson Pics from The Other Day Because She Was In Clueless. She’s Buying Some Classy White Denim Shorts That Remind Me Of The Indian Reserve I Used to Vacation At. And She’s With A Fat Girl. Maybe It’s Make A Wish Foundation The Plus Sized Version. This Is A Long Title.
Grover has gone to a cabin in Maine for the long weekend. I am not in the States, so I don’t have a long weekend here. That means that I am writing the stepMUSIC post and I know nothing about music.
Someone sent me in this horrible Paul Oakenfold tune from Faster Pussycat, I assume a remake of the original movie, now staring Britany Murphey. Lucky for us, she is also does the vocals in this song. Why do I say lucky for us? Because you are yoo negative and I decided to lead by example. Asshole.
My long time friend Grover has got another tribute to another musical artist none of you care about, but it’s not about you, it’s about Grover trying to get his word out there….a word that none of you care about, but it’s better than having him kill himself.
For those of you who don’t like Van Morrison, you must be crazy . He is the best artist of ALL time. My ex-wife and I used to listen to Astral Weeks often, but the best Van song and possibly the best song EVER recorded was “T.B. Sheets” off his debut solo album, Blowin’ Your Mind!. It’s about Van going to a lover’s house who has tuberculosis (the lover not the house). Van has to open her windows, smells the disease on her sheets, and then denies her a glass of water because he has to be on his way. It’s almost 10 minutes of a grueling conversation that “numbs my brains.” I listen to this song quite often after work on repeat until I have finished my bottle of wine and smoked a half pack of cigarettes out on the porch, thinking of the life I could have provided my ex-wife had she stuck around. Scorsese also used this song in his movie “Bringing Out The Dead” which I saw recently. It stars Patricia Arquette, whose face now pollutes my brain. I’m sure a lot has been said about her teeth, so I won’t mention that but something else about her makes me very angry that I can’t explain. Oh well, I’m sure she’s a great woman, proven in by the way she supports that pre-op tranvestite brother of hers. I guess philanthropic efforts overshadow an ugly face.
I met Grover Isaacs when I was in NYC on a budget vacation 8 years ago. I ended up in NYC because I decided to start fresh. In doing that with no money, I ended up in some pretty slummy bars. One night I was at the bar getting wasted and got to talking to some fresh faced dude who had just got married. I laughed knowing even then that his marriage was doomed. It turned out that he was the musician playing that night. He impressed me enough to keep in touch with him. I have watched him try to launch a music career and fail over and over again. He now lives in North Carolina and works as a music teacher at a highschool….He reads the site and wanted to contribute. I have no standards so this is what he has to say:
Dear Jesus,
I guess I should first start off by saying thank you to Jesus for giving me this wonderful opportunity. He has been a wonderful friend over the years, and despite his misanthropic attitude on this website, he is truly a blessing from God. He has helped me deal with the tragedy that is my ex-wife leaving me. Thank you Jesus. As I have told you many times, your name fits you well.
When my wife told me that she was leaving me, for a more successful musician, I was in the middle of watching the documentary, Woodstock for the tenth time. While the tears rolled off my cheeks, I remember watching Joe Cocker and his fantastic American Flag boots running around the stage while playing air-guitar and singing what would become the theme to song to THE greatest American television shows of all time, “Wonder Years.” While he convulsed in an orgasmic seizure on stage, I realized that I didn’t need my wife and I didn’t need New York. So I’m typing this from my cabin in North Carolina. I’m much happier living in the middle of nowhere than in the middle of everything.
Growing up, I was a lot like Kevin Arnold. I looked at lot like him, at least that’s what my parents, friends and teachers used to tell me, but I never had a Winnie. I just had a guitar, some books. I also didn’t have a Paul (the guy who became Marilyn Manson) but I did have a dream. An unrealized dream that was washed away years ago when I left the city.
Cocker man…whether it’s a Beatles song, a Lovin Spoonful song, or even trying to cover Dylan, he brings it home every time. My two favorite Cocker albums, which happen to be his first two, are With A Little Help From My Friends and Joe Cocker!.
If anyone out there wants to be my Winnie, if you’re reading this and have some kind of magic potion to change us back into 13 year olds, please email me. I still sort of look like Kevin Arnold and would happily re-live my childhood if it were to include that little girl.
Here are a few tunes from those two albums (Right Click and Save them) and a video from his performance at Woodstoc (Watch It).
