If you’re going to vote in the Maxim Hometown Hotties Contest, I demand you vote for Jody. The truth is I reached out to her and told her that I have the power to make her win, which means if she wins she’ll want to bang me, and having some hot chick who is the Hometown Hottie in Maxim want to bang me for hookin’ her up is pretty much livin’ the dream….because I like hot chicks wanting to repay me with their vaginas.

Now the reason I reached out to Jody is because her body blew me the fuck away. She is tight and looks like she’d be a solid girl, one who takes care of you like a mother and fucks you like a whore, and is pretty much has everything I want in a Hometown Hottie and a wife. She was born for this shit and started off working when she was younger selling lemonade in her bathing suit because she knew what her calling was, like the Hotel Manager who wouldn’t give me Jared Leto’s room number because he was born into a family of Hotel Managers and has been working towards hotel management since he was 5, whatever the fuck that means, all I know is that he wouldn’t take 1000 dollars to give me the info, not that I would have paid him because I don’t have 1000 dollars, but he didn’t know that.

Either way, the point of this post is to say that if Jody doesn’t win. I am going to quit this site and move to LA to park in a van outside her apartment until she forgives me for my lies, or calls the cops and gets me arrested. Don’t let us down and Make Jody the Hometown Hotties Contest Winner.

Finally, a Hometown Hottie who I think deserves to be in the running, all my other reviews were kinda mean to the girls but that’s only because I didn’t think they had any business being in the competition and that they should pursue other careers, some in porn, others in working at the local Wal Mart of their Hometown but this girl Sharae has got it going on.

First off, she’s got a pretty unique face, and I am all about unique faces, I am tired of seeing the easily replaced clone party slut with fake tits, because if everyone looks the fucking same, like a cookie cutter slut, there’s no fun in bothering to learn there name, but there is fun in stuffin them like a turkey. Second, she’s got a good body, with nice big natural looking tits and to me, a hometown hottie has to have the package. She’s the girl you’re supposed to see walking around your hood and freak out over because she’s so ridiculous that you tell yourself she deserves to be in magazines. Thirdly, she wrote that she’s single, which even if it’s not true, allows all the magazine readers to think it is and that makes jerking off onto her glossy pictures easier to do, because they can fantasize that she’s actually into them….and when they cut out her picture and put it on their pillow to pretend they aren’t alone, they don’t have thoughts of her being out fucking other men.

I feel like Sharae’s got a good chance in making it, because to me she defines what Maxim is looking for, and if she doesn’t at least we’ve all seen her dressed all half naked and posing, and maybe if she doesn’t make it, she’ll at least get a gig doing something else that involves her hosting parties in my hometown so that I can douse her in champagne and lick it off her, and by champagne I mean moonshine that I sneak in, and by licking it off, I mean getting carried away in handcuffs….