I figure if Susan Boyle really wanted to get laid, she’d do something about her fucking mustache. For the most part dudes who have virgin fetishes and who dream about and only want to fuck virgin pussy, have that fetish because the pussy isn’t attached to a fucking weather old, fat mustached face, but I’m sure a motherfucker in her hometown is kicking himself for not climbing up her luscious legs and popping her cherry that by now is long rotten or has grown into more of plum, because running her thick, grey pubic hair through his hand would have given the motherfucker the good life and the worst thing in all this is that if she had put her virginity on eBAY before she got famous, I woulda totally bid on the shit, cuz I love virgins…..
See, I’d totally fuck her brains out just to see how it feels cuz I hear virgins are tight, but I need more research to see how that tightness ages, so it’d be strictly for science and by science I mean I am a pervert who has no fucking standards…the only thing I’d change about this bitch is that I’d make her shave her ’stache. Movember’s over and I don’t like making out with men, even if they still have their hymen….
Susan Boyle is a loser, not that you didn’t already know that, I mean she lived with her mom and never got dick in her life, you know, too scared to leave the fuckin’ nest and live her own fuckin’ life and make something of herself. An emotionally fragile quiet awkward woman you wouldn’t have even noticed on the bus, turned into a phenomenon overnight, for just being on a reality show and being able to sing dated Andrew Lloyd Webber music that only the ederly really appreciate, forcing her to lose to the video of the dance troop you see above, because the people have spoken and reaffirmed that a loser is meant to be a fuckin loser.
You see the biggest mistake was that she took all that attention she was getting, because she never had any attention before, and grew some fucking balls taking her youtube video views and translated that into a celebrity, self-worth and fuckin’ purpose, because losers have a hard time differentiating attention because they’ve never had any.
Anyway, now she’s been admitted to a mental instutition, because that’s just how worked up and convinced she was going to win, not that she was all that stable to begin with.
So this 50 year old virgin who recently found fame is trying to take advantage of the paparazzi taking a sudden interest in her to let the world know that she’s ready to dust off her cunt and stick some lucky dick in it and by lucky dick, I mean the first one that comes her way, you know how it is, because not having sex is something you can seriously relate to.
Some porn producer needs to offer her a lot of money to do a sex tape, I’ve always wanted to see a bitch lose her virginity, I just always get stuck with the sluts/whores.
So here she is with her fly half down, doing have the work for you, all she needs is a fucking erection to jack her shit up. I am willing to volunteer my services, because I feel she won’t judge my shitty performance, she’ll just be happy to be there, at least until 6-8 weeks come around and she’s gotta deal with the aftermath of dirty cock and the lesson that everyone will learn is that just cuz you’re a virgin in menopause doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use condoms no matter how convincing I am when we’re about to fuck.
I am not in the zone today. It happens but I figure the only way to get inspired is to turn to the virgins because they are pure. So I walked down to my laundry room, where I bumbed into a couple teenage girls smoking and I stripped down to my underwear, put my clothes in the washing machine and walked away, while they laughed at me. I looked down and realized that my little cock was poking out of a massive whole in my shorts, which I guess is funny, but the problem with doing this is that despite being virgins, they had enough sense in them to know that my dick was a fucking joke, so I told them he’s like a turtle hiding in his shell when he gets scared and octoplies when it comes down to business, they weren’t buying it, so I was forced to walk away with my tail between my legs in shame, but I know that my girl Susan Boyle wouldn’t because she’dying for any cock and here’s a video of her singing in her ugly prime.
If you wonder what hot virgin pussy wears to bed, here’s a glimpse into her most intimate of outfits. If you’re wondering why a virgin stays a fuckin virgin, look at her fucking feet and I guess in her defense, she’s fucking scary looking, so a mangled foot probably has only fractionaly impact on why that pussy hasn’t seen light, but a mangled foot is probably a nice glimpse into what type of condition that untouched twat is like and the whole thing is just too hot for me to handle.
If you read this site you know that I have a thing for virgins, at least in theory. I like the fact that they are clean and have never had a dick in them, there’s something hot about that, but I’ve never actually been with a virgin, I have never wanted to be a girls first, and from everyone I talk to, it is a miserable fucking experience.
Whenever I drop virgin jokes, people give me dirty looks, like I want to go fuck their 12 year old daughter type looks, but that’s not true. Virgins come in all shapes and sizes and here’s the hottest virgins right now, she has one of the top Youtube videos, her name is Susan Boyle….with nipples like that I don’t believe that she’s never been kissed…I’d like to change that…with my dick…
