Here are some Hilary Duff in shorts and a cleavage exposing shirt because I think she’s lookin’ better than she has pretty much ever looked, maybe it’s because she’s usually with her sister and that makes her hot by comparison because her sister is a fucking wreck. That would be like putting me next to my wife and saying that I am skinny, when in reality if you put me next to a normal sized person it looks like I’ve been stealing their food since we were kids. I saw this bitch at a Montreal club appearance and she wasn’t hot in person.

Paris is going to be in Montreal hosting a shitty party and I want to be there. I want her to take me out for dinner and I want to get her to flash me her box in person. I have no way of getting in because shitty bars designed don’t like me and my obesity, sweatpants and stench…so if any one of you three fuckers are some how connected to Paris, make it happen.

Does anyone have Paris Hilton’s number? Since the last one I had has been leaked I haven’t been able to reach out to her and tell her my problems. I do still have Stavros’ number that still works, but he doesn’t answer me anymore. I asked him to get me in the VMAs the day of the VMAs but said something like “I bet you have enough trouble getting yourself in to hook me up”….not that I would have gone, but I figure you gotta pretend you’re important to these kinds of people.

He ended up taking offense and throwing a little fit, I guess being the some of some shipping billionaire makes you a spoiled whining baby….he said something like “Don’t message me if you don’t have anything nice to say man” or something to that effect. I responded telling him that he’s banged every girl I’ve ever wanted too and that I bet it was worth the herpes….and I think that ended or Greek phone love affair.

In reality I don’t know why I bother even asking you, in my fantasies at least one of you has a job walking her dogs or waxing her cunt or something but even if you did, I can barely keep you interested enough in this site to comment, so even if you were somehow connected to her, you’d never hook me up…but I guess you don’t get what you want if you don’t try…this is the extent of me trying.