Rachel Bilson is engaged to that annoying emo bitch of an actor from Star Wars, and he has kidnapped her, brainwashed her, surpressed her potential in being interesting by scaring her into thinking he will leave her, despite the fact that she can do better than him, but she doesn’t know that, thanks to his strategic lowering of her self-esteem, that’s left her feeling like she’s nothing without him. It has lead to a whole lot of boring out of her, so much boring that this outfit is probably her best, and all you can barely see her cleavage, making it really not that great, so everyone thank the new Darth Vader for ruining not only ruining Star Wars for the geeks, but also Rachel Bilson for everyone, you cunt…
It is Thanksgiving and I am thankful that Rihanna was choked the fuck out this year. Sure, the interest in her is annoying and her new found ego and campaign against spousal abuse is fucking annoying, but almost worth it, knowing that bitch got a black eye out of the shit, even if she gave it to herself to secure the lie to the public as it is a huge part of her marketing campaign. I am also thankful that she is getting fatter and uglier and more and more people are starting to hate her now, making me believe she’s not gonna be around forever, and that is great fucking news!
I have no idea why I am putting up pictures of a shitty reality TV band that was created in the UK years ago and that hasn’t even really hit North America yet and not sure they ever will because reality TV show bands tend to have limited fucking success, but I think it’s got to do with Cheryl Cole’s tits in this dress. Yes, I am that pathetic.
The American Music awards are the biggest bottom feeding award show around. In the history of doing this site, Dick Clark, the founder of the show and his boyfriend/clone/successor Ryan Seacrest had their people send me invites at least once, before realizing I’m not American Music Award material because I hate American Music but like American Titties, but for some reason the only pussy I wanted to Investigate like I was CSI belonged to Shakira and not because she uses that pussy as her Columbian cocaine smuggling mule, but because she squeezed her South American ass in this black dress, which was tight enough to distract me from her stalky midget legs…and here are the pics….
The whole Playboy thing is pretty tired and done as far as I’m concerned, so when I hear about girls who were in the magazine, or were paid “actors” to pretend to date Hugh Hefner for a semi-successful reality show, I just don’t even pay attention.
When I hear about celebrities getting nude for the shit, or even people I know submitting nudes to get in the magazine as a stepping stone to become the next Pam Anderson, I don’t even really acknowledge it.
The shit is dated and struggling to survive and pretty much a sinking fucking ship, the girls are fake and on some cliche “hot” tip that doesn’t turn me on, because I am not gay trying to validate my sexuality by the most plastic lookin pussy cuz I think that’s what straight people like, but I guess before they fully sink, they have a lot of fake tits to help keep them afloat a little longer, and here is a useless set of them.
I am not sure if a new trend in Hollywood is to let yourself go and age the way nature intended your womanly ass to fucking age, but I do know that I’ve been seeing a lot of gunts lately and I don’t like it one bit. If I wanted to see fucking gunts, I’d join the senior citizen’s aquarobics class at the local community center, because 60+ is where I like to keep the gunts, not on barely 35 year old smuggled Columbian trash everyone is hard over standing around in some ridiculous lookin’ dress that’s squeezing her stomach into all the wrong places, like her menopausal, mom of 5, nature’s pillow in her pubis….I’m not diggin’ this,but your lonely ass probably is.
That’s enough gunt talk for the day…no onto better things…
Hilary Duff made the genius career move of guest starring on Gossip Girls and she did it wearing a tight dress. I guess when nothing else is really going on in your career as you slowly age and slowly get fat you have that constant fear of becoming a Jonathan Taylor Thomas where the fuck is he now situation, so you get on the hottest show and let the world know that despite your boyish good looks slowly disappearing like shit was David Copperfield, you aren’t dead yet and I’m really not complaining, whatever harnesses are in this dress are doing her some good.
Woah, is that a basketball in Blake Lively’s dress….or she’s got her period or maybe it’s coke bloat or it could even be that she’s a sloppy little whore and this dress was not really made for her. But I think it’s most likely pregnancy because that’s what happens when little whores have a little too much to drink and think they’re invincible and nothing bad can happen to them because everything else surprisingly worked out so famously, but the good news is that for the most part that all comes crashing down….
Anne Hathaway wore a red dress because she was on her period. If you look closely, I bet you can see her tampon string, because unlike my wife, Anne Hathawa looks like a tampon girl, so whoever she’s fucking is missing out on emptying the bathroom garbage a few months later that you’re supposed to, only to have a bloody fucking maggot filled half-diaper land on the fucking floor, only to have your dog go crazy on the motherfucker, while you are in the other room trying to figure out just how to clean the shit up without having to touch it, only to come back to it spread around the fucking room, instead of being in the well contained package it was left in, and the only real salvation you have is that your wife is unhealthy and going to die soon, or at least not get her period anymore cuz she’s pushing 50.
Nicole Scherzinger went to an event in some fetish gear that she’s passing off as fashion because she’s classy like that. The truth is that I never understood the logic behind dudes with PVC obsessions, I thought it was really kinda creepy and comic book collecting of them, you know with this whole second layer of skin kinda vibe, but I spoke to the dude who owns American Apparel once in a bar, he has a place in the city I live in and he has a line of shiny and slippery clothes and I asked him why they were so popular and he told me because of how amazing it looks when you watch your cum slide off of it.
I don’t know if that’s what the love for this kind of fabric is all about, but I do know Nicole Scherzinger is half Filipino and if I was rich I would have no problem hiring her to clean my house and run errands for me while mistreating her for very little money because if she acts up, I’ll report her ass to immigration. Unfortunately, she was born in the USA and those are the Filipinos you can’t fuck with, but I am guessing her mom was the kind of hired help you can knock up when your wife is at the tennis club and that’s the reason why we have these Scherzinger pics today.
I just woke up and don’t feel like writing this site. What I do feel like doing is saving the world so I decided to report some suspect website that had naked under 18 year olds on it. I contacted my local authorities and gave me an email address to report what I found. This is what I wrote:
I just came across this family nudism website.
I know there is no harm in nudism and all that – but I fear they are attracting the wrong kind of audience – who look at this kind of thing sexually.
I bet a lot of predators are signed up to that site!!!
ps – there’s a really hot girl who is barely 18 on there.. What I wouldn’t do to be 16 again and get that drunk for her first time and show her a good time when my parents are out of town ! Let me know if you can find any information on her, I’d love to make her famous and she’s already willing to get naked so we’re halfway there. Thanks!!
Now, I will probably go to jail for trying to be funny about under 18 year olds naked. But before I do, here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian in some GoGo dancer lookin’ dress hugging her big ass like you wish you could do. In case you were wondering, Kim Kardashian is not under 18, it takes many years of eating to make an ass like that. Cuddles.
