Shauna Sand’s fake tits scare me, but not as much as her fake everything else. If this girl isn’t a robot built by some virgin who wasn’t too good at makin’ robots because his attention to detail was a little off, and because they don’t really teach you that shit, and there’s not even website you can go to learn that shit, but at least what he lacked in the finishing details like her face, he made up in big tits, I’d be forced to admit she

Terry Richardson proves yet again that being a photographer gets you pussy, or at least gets you to hang around hot pussy, especially when you’ve convinced the world that your perverted, amateur style of photography is fuckin’ art and not just perverted and amateur, because your dad was some successful fashion photographer you rode to the top of your game, and really who cares, his shit is at least semi-interesting to look at, especially when the girls in the pics are hipster trust fund trash he’s pulled out of the bar and brought back to his loft to get, but are actually highend fashion models at the top of their game doing the Pirelli Calendar. What it comes down to is we’re all full of shit, the smart ones are the ones who make money off it, or at least get pussy from it, and the nice ones are the ones who share that pussy with the rest of us in pictures….

The modesl you see are Miranda Kerr, Ana Beatriz Barros, Miranda Kerr, Eniko Mihalik, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Catherine M, Abbey Lee, Daisy Lowe, Gracie C, Marloes Horst, Lily Cole, Georgina Stojiilkovic and their tits.

Lohan twitter propers. Sure she doesn’t respond to my messages directed at her, but she does let me follow her and she follows me and that’s good enough. The only problem is that I fucking hate twitter and never read other people’s updates, I find it dull and irritating because I generally hate everyone, so when she posted these amazing pictures of her half naked, covering her amazing titties with a wig, like some kind of hippie being suggestive at woodstock or some shit, I totally missed the fuckin’ boat. It’s not the first time. I just hope this is a sign of good things to come, ideally me, all over myself to dirtier pics of her that she posts on twitter, but unfortunately, I’m not really a good thing.

Fergie is showing off the amazing power of Photoshop while topless in Allure.

I hate photoshop, because with online courses, fat and ugly chicks can trick me. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was talking to some girl on facebook because I got nothing else going for me and she told me she was a model. I went through her pictures and bitch looked pretty fucking good, I didn’t agree to meet her, cuz I hate internet pussy the most, but I did find out what bar she was at and pulled a little creeper move on her to see what I was actually dealing with because I knew it was too good to be true, she was just too eager to be hot and it turned out it was cuz bitch had one of those port stain birthmarks on half her face and looked like she was the Phantom of the Opera all the time, something she was pretty good at erasing in post production.

Not that it matters, I’m still gonna fuck her, but that’s just because I like port after every meal, it makes me feel luxurious and Portuguese.

Here’s Fergie.

Here’s some pictures of Fergie a little less boring, a little less photoshopped and a lot more rough around the fuckin’ edges.

These pictures are doing the rounds, thanks to some horny fan who wanted to zoom into a pole dancing scene in one of her music videos, only to discover what he hoped he’d discover, like a fucking explorer finding America, or a treasure hunter finding the fuckin’ gold, like his life work of being a creepy pervert weirdo finally fuckin’ paid off, because Britney’s not wearing pasties, she’s wearing temporary tattoos, but her nipple is stickin’ through, in some kind of easy access to feed babies and me between shots, and I’m posting the pictures making me as lame as the dude who went out and got these screenshots..

Making fun of Lily Allen’s lifeless tits is getting boring. We all know she was pregnant once, they filled with milk and then the baby was exterminated, whether it was intentional, you know at the abortion clinic or unintentional, you know after a night of hard drinking and cocaine use, leaving her tits unsure of what to do, so they slowly soured and deflated, because they were tricked into thinking they’d be of use, only to have that purpose ripped away from them.

I guess she’s found some other use for them, cuz here she is using them to distract us from her floppy gunt, or whatever the hell is going on where her womb once lived happily before being violated by the vacuum cleaner.

Here’s some lingerie model topless. I know tits are an amazing thing that make a girl far less interesting than she was before I got thru the padded bra only to discover she is actually an A Cup forcing me to hate jerk off on her tits to teach them a fuckin lesson about lying to me, not that I am a big tit lover, but because I just like the truth..

I don’t know who this Sanaa LAthan bitch is but I do know she’s on some reverse racism kick. She drags out some white girl to parade around her half naked, to fetch her drinks while showing the world her G-String assed, like some kind of worthless objectified whore, in some sort of revenge that all of Sanaa’s black men have left her pussy for the forbidden fruit that is white pussy and she’s gonna make sure the white pussy knows its place.

I could be wrong, I mean they could be friends and the white girl is just some kind of exhibitionist who likes getting a nice even tan, but there’s no fun in friendship, but there is fun in slavery, especially when its a sex slave.

I guess with the success of the leaked Cassie pics, you know with the increases in her twitter followers, itunes downloads and the whole becoming an overnight household name, Khloe Kardashian wanted in on that shit, so she leaked these pictures of herself on twitter, not that they are erotic in any fuckin’ way, but they are of her in a mermaid costume covering her little tits, and we all know that when you’re built like a fucking ox, little titties fuckin’ suck, they almost just reaffirm how much of a waste of space you are, not only to the guy sitting next to you on the plane, trying to squeeze the fuck in between you’re shoulders and those of window, but to the rest of the fuckin’ world. Maybe these topless pics of yourself should be used for good, like motivation to kill your family then yourself. Just a suggestion. You fucking beast.

I like Lydia Hearst. She is a top model. She doesn’t mind getting naked. She’s from one of America’s original power families and probably has a huge trust fund but still seems to be cool enough to get her to do my laundry for me.

Maybe it has to do with her mother being some rebel into the art and faggot scene, who married her bodyguard and is in every one of John Waters’ movies, who was kidnapped and charged with sympathizing with her kidnappers after robbing banks with them or some shit.

I mean I don’t really know the story, but I know that this Lydia vagina could have been a Paris Hilton about shit, but instead she gets naked for big money in low key, artistic, fashion nudes that actually turn me on alot more that Paris’ trashy porn tapes.

Cassie is some model turned singer turned slut who fucks Diddy who I always thought was kind of hot, until I tried to follow her cunt ass on twitter and I saw that she blocked me. The beef goes back to when I was ripping into Diddy for bringing Chris Brown and Rihanna together in his Miami home by calling him a woman hater or some shit, leading to him issuing a press release and be being blocked on his twitter, cuz dude’s a fuckin’ tough guy.

Either way, Cassie is topless in these pictures, she’s claiming that someone hacked her computer, bullshit, the reality is that these pictures, along with pictures of Rihanna topless were sent to me 6 or 7 months ago up for sale at something like 5k for the set. I tried to get people I know with money to buy in, but I woulda got sued regardless, so I’d rather use any 5k I can squeeze out of people on hookers, booze and cocaine. True story.

What isn’t a true story is that Cassie isn’t doing this for a publicity stunt, that her shit got hacked and that this isn’t all just an internet lie.

Fuck you Cassie and whoever runs your twitter. Fuck you Diddy for being a faggot who doesn’t pay your bills and fuck you wife for not dying in your sleep.

UPDATE – HER OFFICIAL STATEMENT – THAT IS A LIE

The recent personal pictures that have been leaked on the internet of me were hacked and stolen out of my computer. These photos were obviously never intended for the world to see and it’s sad that people would really take time to steal and post them, it’s just evil. At the end of the day breasts are breasts, mine weren’t the first you’ve seen and they won’t be the last… people need to grow up, let’s move on. Thank you.

Cassie

She LEAKED these MONTHS ago. Motherfuckers lying to us all the FUCKING time.

Kate Moss was out on a yacht sun tanning topless because that’s what she does. The rumor is that she’s pregnant and that is why she looks like she’s got a fat uterus but she’s not pregnant enough for me to not want to have sex with her, not that I am sure any girl is ever too pregnant to fuck, I mean sure it’s the kind of 3 some no one really wants to fuck with, but if the baby isn’t yours there is just so much complexity to what your dick is dippin into that you just can’t not do it. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it does to me.

Her name is Amber Heard, she was the highschool girlfriend in Pineapple Express. She is naked in this video that is supposed to be from her new movie called the informers. I dont know anything else about her. I don’t know if she is in highschool, the fact that she’s topless leads me to think she isn’t, but the perkiness of her tits, leads me to pretend that she is.

I guess that’s the reason so many guys I know like premature babies or girls with developmental issues and that’s because they look 14 when they are 18 and by people I know, I mean you.

Personally, I am more into grandmothers and their grey, hard, leathery pussy, but only because it comes with a pension, nap time and all the baked goods my fat kid self can desire…

Skinny, flat-assed Shauna Sand came out to play on the beach topless in these staged pictures.

She looks a hell of a lot better than usual, she’s got rid of the shitty plastic whore shoes but managed to keep shit trashy and keep her stripper genes proud by wearing Ed Hardy and rockin’ a skinny boy toy who likes Ed Hardy so much he got his favorite T-shirt tattooed on his shoulders. The whole thing stinks of vodka, crystal meth and HIV, but I’ve seen a lot worse out of slutty women like this in my life.

I don’t know. I could be horny. But I think she looks pretty hot and those fake tits look worth cumming all over. Yep. I’m just horny. Hey ladies.

Here’s French newscaster Melissa Theuriau in her bikini, showing off some tit, with some pregnant lookin red nipples, and I figured I’d post it because French girls are sluts and I like sluts. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, they are the kind of girl you pick up in a bar, will get wasted with you, makeout with her female friends and let you fuck her up the ass all within knowing her ten fucking minutes and then she’ll leave like nothing happened and be cool with you like you never fucked her up the ass on the first date, and if it was good enough time, will do it again, while other non french girls make shit awkward or try to date you before ever getting near their ass. So that’s why this breed, despite their rumored hairy cunts, need to be celebrated.

Here’s the boners….